Always Watching

Chapter 9

Just one simple movement and it would all be over. Just one.

The timer from the toaster goes of and I panic thinking I somehow had been caught, even though I hadn't exactly done anything. Yet. The shock from the timer makes me loose my grip on the knife and for some reason my reflexes tries to grab it before it hits the ground, resulting in me cutting my hand. The knife clatters to the floor catching his attention, as I run to the sink to let water run over my cut.

"What happened?" He doesn't sound worried, which makes me worried.

"Nothing I just cut myself" I shrug it off hoping he wouldn't question me further. I hear him taking the bread out of the toaster before walking up behind me. His arms snake around me and his hands clamps around mine. He turns my hand to have a look and memories from when he pressed his thumb to the cut on my wrist, flashes through my mind. I quickly get my hand out of his grip to avoid him doing it again.

When I'm out of his reach I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding, but it's a little to soon for that. "Are we going to eat?" I say as I walk away from him and his touch, but he grips my hand pulling me back.

"First I have to fix this up" he says motioning to my hand. He walks out of the room and comes back with the first aid kit in his hand. Not long after a bandage is firmly placed around my hand and I can't help but look down at myself, seeing the bandages covering me up in different places.

I know this one was my own fault, but I can't believe I'm standing here in this position. I've always said to myself that if anyone ever hurt me, it would be the first and only time. Though that isn't the case this time.

"All done" He finishes off by placing a kiss on the bandage "Lets eat".

He carries two plates he's prepared for the two of us and I take the fruit bowls. I follow him thinking we are gonna eat in the kitchen, but surprisingly he walks out of the room and into the living room. Flashes from the other night hits me as I walk in there and makes me stop dead in my tracks. My eyes dart to the heater and I shudder at the memory. I try to shake the uneasy feeling of me as I walk over to the couch.

"I forgot the juice" he says and takes off out of the room. I contemplate on how to sit down with my ass still hurting, but I decide to lay down on my stomach. I pop myself up on my elbows and feel my shirt rising to just underneath my bum. I should really get out of this shirt and take a shower while I'm at it.

I look around for a blanket to cover myself when I hear his footsteps stopping by the door. I shut my eyes cursing inwardly at myself, I knew what he was looking at and I wanted to slap myself.

"C-can you please give me a blanket" I quietly say praying for him not to take the thoughts, which I assume he has, any further.

He clears his throat and I'm surprised but grateful when I feel a soft fabric covering me up. I don't say anything when he sits down next to me handing me my plate and a fork. I grab a piece of bacon and start to eat in silence.

"Do you want to watch some tv?" he asks me and I can't help but notice how nervous he sounds. I can't keep up with him, one moment he is his happy delusional self, but one look and he can either turn into a mad man or a shy little puppy. I didn't like either.

"Sure" I really don't want to spend more time with him than necessary, but maybe it's a good way to get my mind off of things. Movies and tv-shows has always helped me relax, whenever I watched something I liked I would forget the rest of the world. The same goes for reading, but since the only books I've seen here where in his study I know that's a lost cause already.

He zaps over a few channels and it's not until I see something familiar that I stop him. He looks questionably at me when he sees that I made him stop on 'Criminal Minds'. I don't know wether his suspicious that I picked a show about criminals and how there brain and thinking works or if he's just confused because she didn't like shows like this. I'm hoping for the later.

When he decides not to question me I'm glad, but his constant looks throughout the show doesn't go unnoticed.

We're watching the episode about a man who abused his stepdaughter and now abduct, rape and kill girls that reminds him of her. And I can't help but compare my situation to the one on TV. Though I haven't been raped or killed yet, things are a little too similar for my liking. He also thinks I'm someone else, someone he loved, and I afraid of the lengths he will go to to keep this illusion.

Suddenly a question I've never thought of before seems clear as day. Am I the first girl he's taken? Or am I simply his newest victim? A shiver goes through me catching his attention.

"Are you cold?" I shake my head no, and pretend to put my attention towards the tv again. But I can't concentrate, multiple of questions are running through my mind and I can't do anything to keep them away. Uninvited they keep pushing their way in.

If I'm not the first, then where are the others? Did he kill them? Will he kill me? What will he do to me before he kill me? Will he torture and rape me? Will he hold me here forever? Or will I manage to get out? And if I do will he come after me?

The end credits and theme song runs over the screen his hand touched my shoulder, interrupting my nagging thoughts. It suddenly it seems even more important to get away from him. It's like a uncontrollable need and I can't stand to be in the same room.

Without a word I hurriedly try to stand up making him do the same. The blanket falls from around me, and I accidentally knock over my bowl of half eaten fruit. I don't dare to look up at him, unsure if he is angry.

When he doesn't do anything I take it as my cue and run out on the room. It's like the air surrounding him is suffocating me and I just need to get away. It doesn't take many seconds before I hear him set after me but I'm already in his bedroom and making my way to the bathroom. When I turn around to shut the door I see his panicked face before slamming it shut.

It's only now I realize I'm hyperventilating and it doesn't help when he starts banging on the door. I know what I did was stupid and completely opposite my plan, but I can't seem to think straight.

"Whats wrong baby!?" his voice sound needy and scared, and in any other moment I would properly be relieved but I'm not. I'm scared because once again I know I can never predict his reaction.

"Did I do something? Are you okay?" he asks. The banging has stopped and I picture him leaning against the door waiting for my reply. My breathing doesn't calm down and even if I wanted to answer him, I cant.

It's getting harder and harder to breath which scares me even more. This has never happened to me before and I start to panic more than I already do. My vision starts getting blurry and in that moment the banging continues, more forceful than before.

"Enough of this! Open this fucking door right now!" he roars and trust me I would if I had any control over my body, but I don't. I'm scared as hell and it gets worse when black spots appears in front of me.

I hear him pulling at the door handle and the banging becomes louder and heavier, letting me know that he's now using his whole body.

I try to calm down so I can answer him and open the door, but nothing's seems to work. Slowly the noises fade out and I know it's not a good sign. I grab a hold of the sink and let myself fall to the floor.

The black spots fill up more of the room and I feel a tear slip down of my face. A part of me is scared of what is happening to me now but another part, the more rational one, knows I shouldn't be scared for now. Instead I should be scared of what'll happen when he busts through that door.

I hear him yelling but it sounds like he is ages away. Before I know it my vision goes all black and whatever noises I was able to hear before faded away completely.