Always Watching

Chapter 8

I have been up all night, unable to sleep in his arms. I just couldn't find comfort. When the sun started to rise I laid there next to him, watching his calm breathing make his chest move slowly up and down. Sometimes his eyes moves franticly under his eyelids and I can't help but wonder what must be going on in his head. Is is mind normal when he's asleep?

It's weird how different I can feel when he's asleep, even though I'm laying in his arms I'm not afraid. Uncomfortable? Very. Wanting to be somewhere else? More than anything. But there's not much I can to about it right now.

I still haven't done anything to win his trust, I tried yesterday but we all know how that ended. Today I need to make an effort, I need him to trust me so I can eventually find a way out of here.

The main thing I'm holding onto is that he doesn't seem like the usual movie kidnapper. He doesn't seem like the kidnap her, rape her and kill her type. And I doubt he's waiting for a ransom.

The fact that he seems to think I'm his long lost girlfriend is most likely the reason I'm still breathing and I'd like to keep it like that. So I just have to hope that his love for her will last till I'm out of here. I probably have a better shot than most girl who are kidnapped.

I figured a good way to start this trust thing would be to make breakfast for him, then I can look around the house as well. As slowly as I can I try to move out of his grip, but as soon as I do so his arm tighten around me and his eyes spring open.

"What do you think you're doing?" his asks me, his raspy morning voice sounding alert.

"Uh I-I was just gonna go make us some b-breakfast" I say looking away from his intense glare. He doesn't answer or move, and I can feel his eyes still lingering on my face, properly to figure out if I'm lying. I look back up at him when he moves closer to me and before I can stop him his lips are on my forehead. He moves back just enough for him to speak.

"Lets do it together" he says as I feel his lips touching my skin when he moves his mouth. He stands up from the bed and I do the same, though this time I'm making sure my butt doesn't touch the bed. He sees that I'm struggling a bit and he rushes to my side to help me.

I want to shrug it off but I stop myself remembering my plan. He takes a hold of my arm and I let him steady me as I stand up. I try to give him a small smile thinking that it couldn't hurt. But between my acting and the fact that he's touching me, I probably just look like I'm in pain.

"Can I put some underwear on please?" I say full well knowing there's a change I might regret reminding him that I'm almost naked.

He doesn't say anything. Instead he just goes to one of the drawers and pulls something out before handing it to me. I take it and realize its a bra and panties. When he doesn't move I quickly put it on under the long shirt. 

When I'm done we make our way to the kitchen and before he get the chance to talk to me, I walk to the fridge inspecting it for things to eat.

When I notice that he doesn't move from the other side of the room, I start grabbing different foods that will make up a much needed breakfast. I get out bacon, eggs and juice, before finding toast and different fruits. I decide to make the bacon first but he interrupts me as I'm opening the packet.

"What are you doing?" though his voice is calm his question still confuses and scares me, I thought we were going to have breakfast. Did I do something wrong again? I struggle to open up the plastic as I answer him.

"I'm making breakfast?" it almost comes out as a question as I try to sound as calm as possible "what are you doing?"

"I'm watching my girlfriend act really strange" he chuckles, and I immediately look up at him when I hear what he just called me. I would take 'babygirl' any day over him calling me his girlfriend.

Before I make the mistake to say anything to him he continues: "You know you don't eat meat". Of course. She just had to be vegetarian didn't she, as well as love sappy love movies and every other thing I fucking hate. What's next? Her loving to walk around naked?

I keep struggling with the bacon packet and before I realizing it, I'm crying again. It's not like me to cry over such a little thing, but I'm not myself, how can I be after everything.

"Can you just please open this?" he looks at me cautiously as if I'm putting him through some sort of test before nodding. He walks over to me, takes the bacon and opens it without any problems.

I feel incredibly frustrated that he could open it. It might be a small thing but I hate having people help me, I want to do things myself. Though I would actually love for someone to come and get me out of here.

He hands me the bacon, interrupting my thoughts as he gets out a pan. I turn on the stove and start cooking, while he keeps staring at me. I don't look at him but I can tell. I can feels his gaze on me and it's making me very uncomfortable, I don't like standing here cooking breakfast with my kidnapper.

Maybe I'm lucky that his delusional state gives me an opportunity to escape, but I can't figure him out, it's like he's different people at times. He can act all sweet wanting me to watch 'The Notebook' with him and caressing me skin trying to comfort me. Or he can act all sad and broken, crying beside me in the night. Though I still think he knew I was awake and he only did it to make me feel bad for him. Not that it's going to happen. Then he can be a complete psycho, getting madder than I've ever seen anyone and hurting me. But worst is when he is all sexual like he was yesterday, which to be honest is when I hate him the most. Yes I'm terrified of him when he's angry, but when he's being sexual with me it makes me feel so low and disgusted with myself and not only that, it makes me fell weak.

To know that if he really wanted to he could do anything to me, and I could do nothing about it, makes me hate not only him but myself as well.

"Shit!" I exclaim when sizzling fat from the pan spouts onto the skin of my thigh. I quickly used his shirt to wipe it away.

"Are you okay?" and the answer is no I'm not okay, but not for the reason he thinks. My thigh is fine, but I'm more than sick of him hovering over me every second.

"Yes, can you finish the bacon and make the eggs? Then I'll cut some fruit and make the toast" I mumble trying to get him off my back. He complies happily and moves to kiss my cheek, before starting on the eggs.

I walk over to the toaster while wiping off my cheek. I pop in some bread before moving on to the fruit. Besides mango, melon and pineapple, he actually has quite a lot of fruits that I like. I start cutting some fruit and put it in two separate bowls. When I'm done I'm about to put away the chopping board and knife when an obvious idea hits me.

I slowly pick up the knife and I cant help but think how easy it would be for me to just turn around and stab him. All my problems would be gone and I could just leave without fearing him coming after me. Just one simple movement and it would all be over. Just one.