Bokuto Koutarou - Depression
I stare blankly at the wall from my bed. My hair is a mess. My shirt is wound uncomfortably around me. My left hand is too warm under the blanket over my lap and my right is sweating from holding onto a tissue for too long.
I'm tired.
I'm frustrated.
I'm stressed out.
I'm sad.
I'm lonely.
I need help.
I sniffle. My hands don't flinch when a bead of sweat rolls down my nose. I think about it again and I tear up.
I'm worthless.
I'm disgusting.
I can't do a thing right.
I don't have a talent.
I don't have my real parents to love me.
I don't have a thing.
As if I was a hundered and one years old, I shakily lift my hand to my face to wipe away the sweat. I stare at my thighs. Some tiny red lines that cut across the front decorated it. I sigh and curl up to sleep.
It was 3 a.m.
The next day at school, students do their usual routine as I pass.
They stare at me, and they don't stop.
All conversations become invalid as I slink forward. I feel like a walking, dead, person. They don't do anything but watch, until I'm 10 meters away from them.
"Creep." I hear them chant.
It's all silence until they noisily swivel their heads around to a boy with white hair.
"Hi?" he mutters. He stands a distance away, awkwardly holding a crumpled sheet of paper and eyes wandering everywhere. We are two people standing in a human ally. Opposite each other.
"Um, I need help. I have to go to class A-4." he mutters. After a minute of silence, a boy strolls up cooly and walks away with him, introducing himself as Akaashi.
Everyone's eyes go back to me as the two pass a corner. I hang my head a continue walking. Why am I hated by everyone?
That'a right, because of him.
That idiot.
That fool.
The wretch.
The douche.
He tells the world something, they believe.
Now they think I killed someone. Or injured Aki Suzu's shin which cost her her mobility in her left leg.
They think I do horrible things for fun.
Funny! I haven't even done a single thing, they point at me for whatever wrong and horrible thing that has happend.
As I sit down at my seat at the back, I sigh when I notice my seat buddy was the new boy. Soon, he will drop the friendly act and will hate me like everyone else in this school.
"My name is Bokuto Koutarou! Call me Bokuto! And you are?" he sticks out his hand and smiles bright, like a thousand suns powered by crack or something else druggy.
I try my best to smile honestly.
"(Name). Nice to be of acquaintance, Bokuto." I shake his hands and try to let my grin linger. It drops almost immediately.
