Meteor Shower of Dreams

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They said sometimes God gives you what you need and not what you ask for; tonight would be the night Rose Tyler started believing in that.  And she started believing when the nightmares crept into her subconscious.

"Rose Tyler-"

But he didn't fade.  He just stood there, staring at her, a blue suit instead of brown, a smirk on his face, an evil smirk.

She felt the tears going down her face as if it were that day, as if he were gone.  But he wasn't gone, he was standing there.  "Doctor?" She whispered, tugging at her gloves..

"Oh, Rose, you must know that you're simply human.  I'm a Time Lord, I could never be tied down to you.  You knew that all along, didn't you?"

Rose nodded, bursting into fresh sobs.  She scrubbed a hand down her face.  "Stop smiling!" She shouted, pointing at him.  "None of this is funny!  None of it!  You're just leaving me, like you said you'd never do!"

"That's right," the Doctor nodded.  "Guess we'd just call you Sarah Jane from now on, eh?"

She collapsed to her knees and the wind whipped around her, the scene changing, the same beach, with Jackie behind her and the blue Doctor next to her again.

"Rose, you know, don't you?"

Rose's heart soared, hoping this would be a change, where he'd say something good, something blissful.  "What, Doctor?"  She asked, turning to face him, getting the nerve to stand on her own two feet again.

He sighed and turned away from her briefly before looking at her again.  "You're wonderful, you know that.  But I can't live a linear life.  I can't be here, working at Torchwood, I have to explore the world.  This, it's all new to me, and I have to discover it.  Do you understand?"

Rose blinked.  "I want to go with you," she whispered, reaching for his hand.  He pulled it away from her.

"No, Rose."  He said firmly, as if reprimanding a child.  "This is something I have to do by myself."  He started walking away from her, the third time she was left on that blasted beach.  "Don't wait up for me!" He called over his shoulder.  "Ever!"

It was amazing, how quickly she was on her knees in the sand again.

Rose woke up with a start, sitting up and panting as tears and sweat rolled off of her.  She took a shaky breath and let loose the sobs that had been pent up in her chest since she'd been dreaming.  She pressed the heels of her hands into her eyes, not wanting to see the dream but only being able to watch it over and over, watch the Doctor, her Doctor, walk away from her twice.  He kept saying goodbye. 

She reached over for the Doctor who was usually next to her, but in her fevered state, didn't remember that he'd gone on a trip until she was in body-racking sobs again.  It was one in the morning, and she had no hope of going back to sleep.

She reached for her mobile and fumbled with it, skipping through numbers to find the one she was looking for.  She practically smashed the 'send' button to call the Doctor and pressed the phone to her wet cheek.

"Hello?" A groggy voice sounded on the other end, obviously just woken up.  "Rose, what is it?"

At the sound of his concerned voice, she launched into fresh sobs.  "Just tell me, Doctor, please, I need to hear it."

"Rose, what's the matter?" He asked, his voice now panicked and fully awake.

"I just need you to tell me you love me, please," She cried. 

"Rose, I love you across the whole universe and you must know that by now.  I adore you."  His voice was tender, and she could feel his sincerity.  "What's wrong?"

"Thank you.  I love you," She whispered, and hung up the phone, not wanting to bother him anymore.  And though she'd helped him with a nightmare on his first night in Pete's World, she still felt as though she'd be bothering him.  His nightmares were definitely worse than hers.

She fell back onto the bed and tried to fall asleep again, but the dream kept creeping back, attacking her right before she fell back into sleep.  She turned her head and looked at the clock after what seemed like an eternity.  3 am.

She choked on a sob and curled up into a ball, clutching the covers and trying to tell herself she was being ridiculous.

Suddenly, the door to her bedroom burst open, and she looked up, but couldn't be bothered to care if it was an intruder or anyone at else at all.  Her opinion changed when she saw it was a very flustered Doctor standing there in his nightclothes, his hair tousled in a thousand different directions. 

He dropped his suitcase at the door and shut the door behind him because he knew it made her feel safer, and crawled into the bed with her.  He sat next to her and pulled her to him, clutching her tightly, pressing kisses to her hair and her brow, murmuring soft words of love and encouragement to her. 

Her sobs subsided with him with her, and she relaxed against him, letting him hold her as she finished post-crying hiccupping and coughing. 

"What happened?" the Doctor asked quietly.

"I keep having these dreams," Rose slowly admitted.  "Where the other you leaves us here, and you decide you don't want to stay with me.  You go and explore the world, and you don't let me come with you.  You leave me."

The Doctor cupped her cheeks.  "I'm not going to tell you it's stupid, because in reality I did leave you twice, but not this me, Rose.  This me... Well, I'm a mix of both your Doctors.  I need you to fix me and love me, to show me that I can be loved, because I was born out of war.  But I was also still born from your  love, and I need you."  He kissed her than, and she found herself melting into it, relieved and exhausted. 

"Wait," he pulled away and stared down at her.  "You said you've had this dream numerous times?"

Rose nodded sheepishly, a little embarrassed to admit it.

He furrowed his brows.  "Rose, why didn't you tell me?" 

"I thought I'd bother you," Rose choked out, "You have worse nightmares than I do."

The Doctor snorted, "That doesn't make yours invalid, ever.  Nothing you ever do is invalid because my memories or dreams or experiences are worse, do you understand me?  I love you and I want to protect you from all that.  Now," he cuddled down under the covers, pulling her with him, so his arms were wrapped tightly around her and her head was pillowed on his chest.  "Now, I'm going to protect you from the nightmares.  And don't worry about my assignment, I was coming home in the morning anyway.  Go to sleep."

And for the first time in months, Rose slept peacefully.  And the Doctor protected her in her sleep.

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