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Chapter Twenty

When I came home four days ago everything in my life kind of fit together like puzzle pieces. Noah and I have been dating or at least we've been acting like it with all the flirting and innocent touches and kisses. I'm afraid to admit I'm in love. I havn't told Noah yet but I plan to tonight.

Noah just seems to get me in ways no had before, he understands everything and loves me even more. He doesn't see me in need of fixing he likes me the way I am and wouldnt change me for anything. We are supposed to have dinner in the woods under the stars. Emily says it's super romantic and it has upped my nerves to no end. I wasn't good at being romantic where Noah is all about the romance. It was kind of intimidating.

I looked at my reflection in the full body mirror. I'm actually wearing a dress. It's tan with black lace covering it and ends about mid thigh. I wore pantie hose and it covered most of my scars. I had high heels black ankle boots with the heel closed that actually felt comfortable. I had gentle browns for my eye shadow and has a thin line of black eye liner and a light coat of mascara, I also put on a neutral lip gloss to finish it off. For jewelry I put on a silver neckless with a tattered angel wing charm. My hair was fixed up in a up-do on the right side of my head with my bangs and loose strands to frame my face.

Emily helped me pick out what to wear and such. I gotta say I've never had a best friend but I think this is what would be. Like I said it just feels like my life is finally coming together. Don't get me wrong I still have some problems. Sometimes I hit a wave of guilt or sadness for my past still but I try and not let me down. And I still have extream night terrors I havn't told anybody about. So to some people my life probably isn't picture perfect, but to me I don't see how it gets better.

I kept rearranging everything on me making sure it's perfect. Emily laying upside down on my bed looked at me confused clearly sensing my mood."Why are you so nervous about tonight?" Emily asked. I looked at her through the mirror.

"It will be our first offical date and I want to look nice." I told her as I smoothed down my dress once again, feeling the roughness of the lace.

"Anything else?" She asked as she raised an eyebrow sensing I was also leaving something out.

"Well... I kind of want to tell Noah I love him back tonight." I whispered.

Emily smiled and clapped her hands, "Finally! Doah has formed!"

"What?" I asked confused and turned around to look at her.

"It's your guy's ship name!" Emily said.

"Our what?" I asked

"I'll explain it to you when you're older." She said motherly.

I just rolled my eyes at her and there was a knock at the door.

I walked over and opened it to see a letter taped to the door.

"It's from Noah." I told Emily, she bounced up and read it over my shoulder.

Dear Dodge,

I know I said I would pick you up but I'm running a bit behind Joey might of ate all the food.

Can you meet me there in twenty?

Love,

Noah

"Stupid Joey. One day I'm going to take him to a all you can eat buffet." I sighed.

"Don't we tried they kicked us out at Joey's fifteenth plate. It was horrible. And Joey still wanted dessert." She shook her head.

"That boy has problems." I laughed. I put the letter down on my dresser and looked in the mirror one last time then started walking out the door.

"What are you gonna do?" Emily asked worried that would attack Joey probably.

"I'm just going for a walk to calm my nerves don't worry." I told her and chuckled.

"Just don't be late for your date. Don't sink my ship!" She called after me.

"Wouldn't dream of it." I said sarcastically as I left.

I was walking around for five minutes when I heard a voice. I went towards it, thinking maybe it was Noah.

And it was, he was talking to somebody on his phone. He was was wearing a tux and damn if he didn't pull it off. He looked like something ouy of a magazine. I was going through a inner battle with myself whether I should listen in or not. But I thought what the hell he was probably just ordering food. Stupid Joey.

I listened closely, "No Alpha. I'm telling you she's practically eating put of my palm, believeing everything I say. I should have all the information I need from her tonight." Noah said. I thought for a moment it may be me. But I knew he loved me, so I knew he must be talking about somebody else, I kept listening.

"Are you sure you don't have any feelings for this girl... Dodge was it? She's dangerous, you should hear the treacherous stories of her killing spree. Can you imagine if she made it through Lightening Pack territory?" The man said.

I stopped breathing, I felt my heart stop before it went into over drive. "Don't be ridiculous she's clearly mad. She's nothing more then a mission, a fling at the most. And don't worry, she doesn't know I'm from The Lightening Pack." Noah spoke thoroughly giving me my first shattered heart the pieces going to stomach. I didn't even feel the tears streaming down my face. I trusted him, hell I loved him. I went through hell trying to pull myself together for him. All this was an act for information. Well fuck him.

I didn't want to hear the end to that conversation. I ran back to my room. I kicked of my shoes and wiped off my make up.

I was gasping for air. It almost physically hurt that Noah thought that. I knocked at Emily's door. She opened the door and looked at me with wide eyes. She hugged me and dragged me inside. "I'll get the ice cream." She told me as she turned on Netflix on her TV. Not even asking what was wrong because she knew I just needed a friend. She went in her closet and came out with two pints of chocolate ice cream. I gave her a confused look.

"Where did those come from?" I said my voice cracking from crying.

"Okay I have a secret mini fridge in the back of my closet. But don't tell Joey! It's the only food that's safe." Emily said.

"Give me one of those pints and I'll take the secret to my grave." I told her.

She threw it at me and a spoon she got a blanket to go around our shoulders and snuggled in. We clinked spoons. "Here's to boys sucking." Emily said. I noded then tore into the ice cream the ice cream slid down my throat tasting like heaven. We watched a night full of, horror, syfy, and mystery movies.

Noah's POV

"And don't worry, she doesn't know I'm from The Lightening Pack." I said to my Alpha. I hated myself for the things that I was saying. My nails making my palms bleed from how hard I was clenching them and my teeth were probably damaged from the grinding. But I had to. If he knew I was Dodge's mate he would claim my judgement compromised and take her away from me. And I couldn't let that happen. Not again. I wouldn't survive it again.

"Alpha I have to go." I told him.

"Fine but get the information I need." Then he hung up.

I walked to the spot Dodge and I were supposed to have dinner and lit the candles. I sat down to wait for to show up. I waited for four hours. The candles now nothing but melted wax. The food cold and me completly alone. When I asked her on this date I intended on telling her the complete truth about me. Wanting to be completely honest with her because I felt like I could be.

I really thought she would show up. I knew I needed to call it a night I just didn't want to go back inside because that means I have to give up hope on Dodge coming and I didn't want to. I didn't want to go to my empty dark room.

I sighed, maybe I was pushing to hard. Maybe she wasn't ready to be mates. Maybe I wasn't mate material.