Waiting For Tomorrow

The House You Built

-Silva's Point Of View-

My eyes open as i'm looking to the ceiling. Where am I? I'm supposed to be dead.

I suddenly notice someone holding my hand, I hear profound sobs and cries around me.

"Silva, you're awake." I hear a voice say, I can't make out who's voice though. I turn my head to see the one holding my hand is Tyler, I look around the room seeing my family and Tyler's family. Everyone looks terribly anguished. What's going on? I thought I was dead.

"We were so worried, we thought you weren't going to make it." My mum cries.

But I didn't make it, I was dead, I died, whats going on. I look down at my wrist seeing it's all bandaged up. Where's all the blood that was on the sheets? I was bleeding, I was dead and I saw Tyler, he was heartbroken, I saw him when he found out what had happened, then when he came here, I was laying dead on the bed with blood all over the sheets, I could hear his thoughts, but I was dead.

Wait. I think...Maybe I was dreaming...but i'm still so confused.

"What happened?" I whisper.

"You don't remember?" My mum silently asks.

"I...um remember what I did...but why aren't I dead?" I nervously say.

"You were found unconscious under the bridge by some people, they called an ambulance, we had been out looking for you since you had been gone for so long, then we got the phone call that you had been sent to hospital because you-" She says but is unable to finish the last part.

"You were bleeding a lot, but the doctors were able to stop it before you died, they stitched up the wound, if you had been found any later then we would have lost you." Tyler's dad, David, finishes. Everyone in this room seems hurt from what I did. But why? No one really likes me.

I look up at Tyler who seems relentlessly dreary and depressed.

What have I done, I made such a big mistake, I am such a terrible person. I never knew this could hurt people so badly.

"Could I please have a minute alone with Silva?" Tyler listlessly asks.

Everyone walks out of the room as Tyler grips my hand tightly.

"Please never do this again, you have hurt all of us so much." Tyler half yells from the stress. He looks so tired, he has black lines under his eyes, he must have been pretty stressed about it all.

"We were all so worried, we could have lost you," He whispers the last bit, "You have no idea how much pain you put us all through. Now I don't know what made you do this but you have to tell us."

I look at him, a tear runs down my left cheek. I can't tell him, I can't tell anyone. No one would understand.

"The thing is I feel that maybe all of this was my fault, if it is then just say so, it doesn't matter if you hurt me, what matters is that you're safe and if I am doing this to you then it's better that I am out of your life." He cries.

"No, no, it's not your fault, nothing would be better with you out of my life, it would be so much worse." I quickly rush out.

"Please Silva. Tell me the truth, how do you really feel about me?" He is getting really upset now, his face is soaked in tears. Why won't he listen, it's not his fault.

"It's not you, you mean the world to me, you are one of the best friends who I have ever had, in fact, probably the best because you have never left my side." I reply lowering my voice at the end remembering Esther.

He looks at me confused.

"It's just, I used to have this friend, Esther, she killed herself over a year ago. Thats what made me stop talking to people, I couldn't bear having another friend who would leave me, before Esther every friend I had would eventually leave me after not long, she never left me, well, until she killed herself."