-^* Are we clear? *^- | Haobin

-^* final memory ^*-

I must've blacked out a few times during that fight. I didn't know how to fight, I'd never fought anyone in my entire life. Yuxuan seemed to not know either, mind you. For half of it we must've just been rolling around in the mud and cursing at each other. Hao had to physically separate us while he was bawling his eyes out. I couldn't even look at Gyuvin, I didn't understand him at all. I didn't understand any of it.

"Hello Mrs Jung, is Hao home?" I asked as I stood at the doorstep of his exchange family, the ones housing him whilst he was in Korea.
She stared at me with surprise.
"Gosh Hanbin, are you okay? It's not like you to get into fights." She asked, staring at the bruises on my face.
"I'm okay, I just need to talk to Hao...please..."
"Of course, he's just in his room..."
I followed her up to the attic where Hao's room was. I'd been here countless times yet this felt so much different. Climbing the stairs was painful, not in my bruised body but in my chest, my heart wouldn't stop pounding.
Mrs Jung knocked at his door.
"Hao honey, someone's here for you,"
The door creaked open, Hao stood there in his pyjamas. His hair was messy and his face red and puffy from crying.
I teared up just looking at him, feeling guilt spreading over my body like a disease.
Once he met my eye, his tears started falling again.
As to not cause Mrs Jung any worry, he let me in.

For a moment he just stared at me, unsure what to say as I stood there in my muddy school uniform.
"Hao I'm-"
"Put some pyjamas on, you'll catch a cold if you keep those on..."
I nodded, not taking my eyes away from him.

I kept my eyes fixed on him as I changed my clothes, he seemed like he was fighting himself not to look back at me.

Finally we sat down on his floor, facing each other.
"Can I explain everything to you?"
He nodded gently. He seemed like he'd been waiting for this.
"I didn't know that he liked me." He looked away from me and he teared up again, "Hao I promise you, it wasn't like that at all. If I'd have known he liked me like that I would have told him no then and there."
"I trust you...but it's hard, I saw you two kiss. I saw it, and after everything that Yu said it's hard not to believe him..."
"I genuinely thought that me and Gyuvin were just friends. He's a first year for one, I wouldn't go after a first year. And as well as that, Matthew is always with us whenever we practiced late. We only ever talk alone when we talk about our worries about dance."
I paused for a moment.
"And more than that...I love you so much. I would never, ever, do something like that to you."
He sighed and leant forward, his head against my chest as he cried into his hands quietly.
I brought him in closer and stroked his hair, my eyes flooding with tears as well as I comforted him.

We stayed like that for what must have been hours. Eventually my mum called, and I had to leave.
"I'll wait for you outside tomorrow. I understand if you don't want to come...but please...come with me..."

That night as I got into bed, Gyuvin called me.
I quickly answered, adrenaline rushing through me as I held the phone to my ear.
"Hanbin-...hyung I'm so sorry. I told Hao everything, I just got off the phone with him. I told him that I've liked you since I met you in the student council and how I was following you around because I knew we couldn't be any more than friends since you're older so I hoped I could just be your closest friend. But I just couldn't take it anymore, knowing you were going to leave the country! I had to tell you- and when I saw them approaching I just had to, I couldn't miss the chance and- I didn't know...I didn't know I didn't know I'm so sorry..."
I sighed and collected myself for a moment.
"It's okay Gyuvin, thank you for telling Hao, you don't know how much it means to me."