-^* Are we clear? *^- | Haobin

-^* 9 *^-

"Mom...actually I was thinking of maybe going to China with Hao at the end of the school year..."
"Absolutely not Hanbin. That is such a long way away from home and you're only eighteen."
"But mom-"
"No, I don't want to hear anymore about it. Don't mention it when he's over at grandmas, she'd just be upset and we're supposed to be having a nice family gathering."

-^* Are you sure? *^-

HAO POV:
He was ignoring me.
I'd called him a number of times over the past couple of days and he was yet to answer. He'd stopped replying to my texts and seemed to have either ignored my voicemails or not listened to them at all. I needed to talk to him, I wanted to hear his voice and see his face and explain to him why I was over here. Yuxuan and Hanbin used to fight a lot in high school, which, when you consider Hanbin's personality doesn't seem right. Yuxuan just had a way of getting under his skin.

It all began when they first met, Hanbin was helping me with my Korean pronunciation and Yuxuan came to talk to me. Of course, when he did, he spoke to me in mandarin. At first it didn't bother Hanbin, but as time went on, he kept doing it. Every time he'd speak around Hanbin he would use mandarin which would frustrate Hanbin to no end. He understood bits and pieces but the whole thing would completely shut him out of the conversation. It got to the point where he would just walk away when Yuxuan came up to me.
Yu and I were childhood friends, since our parents being very close, naturally we were too. He was nice to me and I had lots of sympathy for him as he often struggled with a weak immune system so he was sick a lot especially when we were young. Since his parents were always very busy, he seemed to enjoy the attention I gave him when he was sick and began calling me whenever it happened.
Whenever I was absent from school in Korea, I was usually taking care of Yuxuan which always left Hanbin annoyed and worried. He always helped me catch up with schoolwork and I felt endlessly guilty about the whole thing. Yu on the other hand didn't seem to care, I don't think he ever liked Hanbin because we were so close.
At one point, they even fought after Hanbin finally snapped when Yu was talking to me in mandarin and Hanbin heard his name mentioned. Yuxuan had been telling me that Hanbin was getting overly friendly with some other guy at school and thought I should know.
However by that point, I had been teaching Hanbin mandarin and he understood the gist of what he said. I don't think I'd ever seen him so angry. He swung at Yuxuan and they ended up having to be separated by teachers.

I hadn't told Hanbin about all of this yet. I was scared because of this exact situation happening, that Yuxuan would call me over to China to take care of him again. Which, I knew if Hanbin knew about what had happened before, would most likely result in him becoming angry and upset again. I wanted to use this visit to Yu to tell him that he couldn't keep doing this, and yet, I seemed to have lost Hanbin in the process.

I was awaiting my return on Friday, I wanted time to go quicker, I needed it to.

HANBIN POV:
Hao kept calling, I didn't want to answer. I knew I should have, I knew it would make it all a lot easier if I did but I mentally couldn't do it. I was letting myself drift through the week mindlessly, trying not to think of anything at all really. I was worried about Hao but at the same time i physically couldn't pick up the phone anytime he called. I stared at it ringing, the vibrations making me overwhelmingly nervous until it stopped and a voicemail would roll through not long after. Those voicemails were what was keeping me going. Even if I didn't have the courage to answer the phone, I could listen to what he had to say and be glad that he was okay over there.
"Hanbin-ah, it's been a few days I hope you're doing alright. Matthew said you're going to work and everything so I won't complain for you ignoring my calls as long as you're alright. I miss your voice...call me soon. I hope you have a nice day at work. Bye..."
I switched my phone off and placed it in my pocket. It was Thursday morning. The birds chirped and the sun shone as spring rolled over into summer finally.
"Morning Hanbin, how did you sleep?" Matthew asked as I wandered out of my room and into the kitchen.
"I keep having nightmares again, do you know if we still have that sleep medication?"
"Mmm, I could head to the pharmacy later for some. Is it because of Hao?"
I shook my head and sighed.
"Well- sort of. I don't know..."
"You know, you really are just torturing yourself by not talking to him. What's the point?" He turned his back to me and began to butter his toast.
I glanced downward. He was right. What was I doing?
"I don't know I just- I get so nervous whenever he calls and I freeze up..."
"The Hanbin i remember would've taken a plane straight to China to get him yourself. I know you still have that spirit in you, hyung." Matthew chuckled.
I groaned and leant my head against the kitchen cabinet.
"What use is the old Hanbin when I don't even remember him yet...I feel like a busy grocery store that has no groceries with all the customers just angry and waiting for the food to just appear."
"Weird analogy but I get what you mean. It'll take time. What did you dream about anyway? You said your memories are coming back that way these days."
I thought back to my dream. It wasn't a particularly nice one, which is why I'd slept so bad.
"My mom was telling me to not leave for China with Hao. She told me not to mention it at our family dinner with him because it would upset my grandma."
"See? You're getting somewhere. I didn't know about that, and Hao probably didn't either. That's all you, that's your memory, all yours."
Mathew smiled as he turned back to me and took a bite of his toast.
He was right. The more I pondered on it, Hao had just told me that I wouldn't tell them, not that I couldn't. Suddenly my mood seemed to improve, upon realising that I had a memory I could really call my own.
"Thanks Mashu, you know me all too well..."
"It's all that time I spent with you in hospital when I had to keep you company while you were barely conscious and blabbering at me about this and that. I'd be ashamed to call myself your friend if I didn't know you this well." He explained.
I chuckled and nodded.
"I should probably head to work, let me know if Hao calls you again."
"Just call him yourself, I can't deal with all the nagging anymore." Matthew sighed.
"Alright alright, see you later."
"Bye bye~"

I left our apartment and made my way to work, recollecting my dream to make sure it stuck in my head. I even wrote it down in my notes to be absolutely certain that I couldn't forget it. It felt good, having an important memory of that time, even if it wasn't a particularly positive one. To be frank, I couldn't wait to tell Hao about it.

Maybe I should call him...

I sat at the bus stop staring at his contact on my phone for the second time with nerves creeping through my body. I had to. He would be back tomorrow anyway...I might as well...

I finally tapped the green call button gently and placed my phone against my ear, listening to it ring. It rang for a few moments until I heard the line pick up.
Silence.

"Hello?" I uttered nervously.

"Hanbin?" An unfamiliar voice answered.

My stomach was knotting up again.

"Who's this?" I asked as the palms of my hands became sweaty.

"Yuxuan. What do you want? We're a bit busy..."

Fuck.

Heya guys thanks for reading! As always let me know what you thought !!