-^* Are we clear? *^- | Haobin

-^* 14 *^-

That night I heard nothing once more. No message, no call. When I could get up again, I listened back to all of his voice messages just to hear his voice again. It gave me butterflies, listening to them back. And yet, I couldn't see him. I yearned for him, I needed him. I needed him far much more than I thought was normal. It was prohibiting my way of living, being without him.
All it did was make me feel more useless for not knowing.

The next day I sent them both a message.

Me: can we talk today. I'll meet you both at lunch.

Matthew reluctantly let me go to work. He made me take a cab and told me to call him if I needed him.

When I arrived, I saw Hao at the end of the third floor corridor. The side that lead into Mrs Kim's office. He stood there with a pale face, like he'd just killed somebody. Despite how much I wanted to ask him how he was and hug him tightly, I walked on without looking back.
I hated being like this to him, but I was so tired of it that I couldn't stand it all anymore.

The morning went too slowly. I could feel time passing again, feeling dreadfully long.

Finally, when lunch did come around, I made my way out to the back and sat myself down on the metal staircase which lead up to the emergency exit on the third floor.
As I waited, I thought back on what Jiahao had told me. Had I really done that? Had I really cheated on Hao? If I did, I couldn't possibly understand everything else that had happened. He forgave me, visited my parents and never told me about that encounter afterwards.
I heard their voices drawing close, hushed chatter amongst themselves.
"Hao I can't stand it. You both just look so...dead. It's like you're corpses walking around these days..."
"Just mind your own business...I'm sure you'll be happy when it's all over."
I walked out from the staircase, watching as their faces turned to that of concern and sympathy.
"Hey..." I spoke, slicing through the silence.
I kept my gaze on Hao, his eye-bags dark.
Gyuvin wasn't wrong, he really did look like a corpse. It made my heart sink. I turned away, unable to look at him in that state.
"Hanbin, before I say anything, I'm so sorry..." Gyuvin sighed, lowering his head slightly. Hao gazed at me mournfully, waiting for my next question.
"What happened that lead to me and Jiahao fighting." I spoke almost like it was a demand. A gentle command, a hope for someone to listen.
Hao took a deep breath and turned to Gyuvin.
"I think you're the best person to explain, I don't mind leaving you two to it..."
Hao walked away before either of us could say anything. I watched him disappear into the studio, catching a glimpse of the side of his head as he turned the corner. I didn't like watching him walk away like that...it felt like he might not come back if I let him.

Finally I turned back to Gyuvin and stared at him as he began to stutter nervously.
"I just want to stay that- I truly am so sorry Hanbin. I knew deep down but I just couldn't tell you myself. I understand if you don't wanna be my friend anymore after this..." He went on as I watched him carefully, "I liked you, back when you and Hao had first got together. I didn't know the two of you were in a relationship, and thinking back on it I must've been blind because it was pretty obvious." He laughed breathlessly, "Once we became good friends, I told Hao that I liked you. Of course he wasn't too impressed and we never really got along after that. Anyway, when it was coming up to exams I knew you'd be leaving for China after and I just had to tell you. I acted very selfishly, and to be honest I've been ashamed ever since. I saw Hao and that Jiahao guy coming up the pitch and I kissed you...but to be honest, our lips never even touched...you turned your head away before they could and as you turned back to look at me Jiahao punched you. I heard you had the accident the day after that and for these years I kept the secret that we knew each other despite not knowing why you changed after then. I kind of had a feeling by the way you acted towards me at the cafe that it was more than a broken leg...I can't express to you enough how sorry I am, Hanbin..."
He bit his lip harshly, balling his fists tight as he broke eye contact.
"You and Hao forgave me that night, after it happened...but I can't help but think that I caused the fall you had the next day..."
"It's no one's fault except my own, Gyuvin..." I sighed.
"What?" He replied, eyes wide.
"Jiahao told me about what happened with you, and Hao explained to me that I never told my family I was leaving for China nor that we were even together. Now that I've pieced it all together, there's no one to blame but myself...so don't worry anymore, okay?" I smiled with tears forming in my eyes, placing my hand on Gyuvin's shoulder.

For the second time that week I left work silently. This time I took myself off. I explained to Mrs Kim that I had some personal matters to deal with and headed off before she could ask me what was going on. Hao watched me leave. He didn't say a word, but I noticed him watching as I grabbed my stuff from my locker. His head poked out of one of the studios, his dark eyes watching me carefully.
As I let the glass door swing behind me, I let out a small, gentle smile and walked down the stairs.

My heart was aching in ways I didn't know were possible. All I could think of was Hao, every memory I'd stitched together of him was swirling around my busy mind and permeating my thoughts.

I wandered down the street, caught the bus and dropped myself off at the front gate of my old high school.

I stood before it, staring at the sign with a dulled expression. What was there more for me to do now? Could I live on with all this if Hao wouldn't come back to me? Could I survive in the world knowing that my life was restarted and I cannot love the one who I was written to be with in the last. As I stood there, I felt the spring rain pattering down once more, feeling my thin clothes begging to stick to my skin.
As I felt myself begin to numb in the warm droplets, I heard a voice that made my chest ache even more.
"Hanbina..."
I turned around as soon as I heard it. It magnetised me, brought me in like a baby turtle to the shore.
He stood there, his clothes just as wet as mine, the fabric of his white shirt so sheer that his upper body was practically exposed. His chestnut hair dripped in front his eyes causing him to blink irregularly.
"I miss you..." he chocked as he began to sob, his tears and the rain forming a perfect river down his cheeks.
I took a step towards him and felt my body begin to give out, my knees buckling slightly. I held myself up just enough to take another step as hot tears began running down my own face.
"I miss you too..." I finally whispered, taking him into my arms and bringing his head to my chest, feeling my heart thump against him.

We embraced for what felt like minutes, and yet, the school kids began filtering out of school in no time.

We left shortly after, making our way back to my apartment from school.

Hao dried himself off and changed into a pair of my pyjamas and I did the same, unable to take my eyes away from him out of some dark fear that he might disappear if I looked away for even a second.

We didn't say a single word to each other that night. We were too exhausted, and after everything that happened, we didn't need to speak for now.
I held him as we slept, the both of us falling asleep almost as soon as we lay down.

I felt whole again, I felt like I had finally found what I'd been missing this entire time.

My Hao, the other half of my broken soul.

Hey guys!!! The final memory is coming but let me know if you'd like a final chapter so that we can all recover from all this angst...
Sorry LMAO
ANYWAY! Let me know what you think as always and thank you for all the support on this! I love writing and I'm always trying to improve. When I've finished the story I'll be going back and brushing up the story to make sure it's all cohesive. Anyway, thank you all 🌺