The one I want

18

I mean seriously the next person to give me a sympathetic look is about to get bitch slapped about this prison. I've had non stop cuddles , people asking if I'm okay. Yeah I'm fine, I'm not going to let a fucking girl get the better of me, I'm a better person than that. I'm not going to mope around everyday because she broke my heart. I'm going to pick my head up and move on because I deserve better.

"You okay kiddo?" Nicky asked walking into my cube

"Are you serious ? You literally just asked me this like 3 minutes ago" I laughed as she sat beside me on my bed

"I know but I just wanna see you're doing fine" she smiled

"Yes I am fine, I don't care about Stella . She doesn't want to be with me that's fine" I said holding in the tears

"Fine could mean anything" Nicky smirked

"What does everyone want me to say ? No I am fucking heart broken, I just got all my feelings flung back in my face, I want to punch about twelve people. Well no I don't care, honestly" which was half true

"I'll punch Stella for you" Nicky laughed

"You already did" I laughed thinking back to Nicky punching Stella in the bathroom and it was one heck of a punch, pity it didn't leave a mark

I was still thinking of a way I could get Stella back but then again I'm a 21 year old girl , Im better than a daft revenge plot. I just want her to feel what I'm feeling right now and that's broken. I don't know how someone could hurt someone this bad and not even apologise or even speak to them . I just want an explanation as to why she doesn't feel the same way. I know not everyone falls in love with a person who loves them, I get it but come on to fuck, viper said he loved me after like a month , Stella should have been easier to break than that but she's impossible . Maybe she is just a cold hearted bitch .

Sadly red didn't give me time off of work for having a broken heart, although she did bake me pie (no pun intended) which was nice of her. She also came into my cube last night and held me like a mother should and made me feel at home. God why can't my mom be like that , oh yeah because she's to far up her own ass to even care about me .

"Visitation in about 5 , who's visiting?" Nicky asked

"Brie , her boyfriend and my mom" I smiled

***

"I'm so sorry Dana, I know you really liked her" my mom smiled sympathetically

"I would say more than like but don't want you barfing in your mouth" I smirked

"So what she just ignored you ? Not even a word ? What a fucking asshole. You're lucky she's a girl or I would go hit her right now" hank said seriously

"We don't want you in prison too because I can't visit you if I'm in prison" I laughed

"I'm so pissed right now because she looked like she really liked you. The way she smiled at you when you weren't looking. I swear I thought she did love you Dana " Brie said

"In a way I did too, I don't know I just felt complete with her, like nothing else mattered . I was so happy for that short time and now I'm the heart broken one " I said looking over to Stella hoping she wouldn't catch me

"I know I don't agree with your lifestyle but I just want you happy Dana. It might not seem like it but I can tell you really love her, especially with the way you are looking at her" my mom smiled

"I do but I can't because there is no point in loving someone who won't love you back " I shrugged

I looked over at Stella again and she was looking at me and so was her visitor. She gave me a sympathetic smile but she didn't move her stare. When I looked into her eyes I felt like I could melt . I also so badly want to look away but I couldn't. Why can she not love me back, I want her too . Eventually I moved my stare and I felt a tear fall down my face and I wiped it away before anyone could see.

"She's stupid not to love you" hank said

"no I'm the stupid one for falling in love with her" I said

Now my family were looking at my sympathetically , I just wanted it all to stop. To go back to normal but how can you go back to normal after something like this ? I don't think you can, maybe this will be what changes me .

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Short chapter I know, I'm sorry but you all wanted me to update and I said I would update today so hope you enjoy it .

I honestly hate writing without Stella , it's so boring . I just want Della to be together forever and ever and get married but Stella has to make this difficult !!!