Australia » a.i

XIX

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..

Being faced with one of my nightmares wasn't something I ever expected, ever wanted or ever imagined in my life. I was hammered, stumbling in my heels as we made our way to the exit, only to be faced with crowds and flashlights and cameras. It took me a long moment to realize what was happening, and why were those people crowding the exit and preventing me from getting out. There were yells and questions being thrown in the air, remaining unanswered because I was too stunned to answer.

Oh no.

I had no privacy anymore.

They were loud and noisy, and so fucking nosy. How did you meet Ashton? Is your relationship serious? Where were you hiding? Are you American? Will you be on tour with the band? Is Ashton inside the club right now? What's your name?

I was panicking on the inside, tears of shock and disdain falling down my cheeks. I pretty sure know I looked like a mess, but thank god Bella seemed to sober enough to defend me in front of all that ruthlessness.

I was sobbing when she growled, "back the fuck off!" before Henry pushed out with a stoic face and somehow...he managed to put me in a cab with Bella. The tires screeched when the cabbie sped forward and the noise was a resemblance of the complexity that'd accompany me everywhere from now on. I could no longer be myself in publicity; I'd be judged in a heartbeat. They wanted perfection, and I wasn't anywhere near it.

I leaned my head against Bella's shoulder and cried silently for the rest of the ride.

I told Bella to ignore my phone, and glared at her when she coaxed me to answer him. I was so troubled right now and the last thing I wanted—but the very thing I needed—was to call Ashton and talk about all of this. My hand shook when I reached over to put my phone on vibration and another tear slid down. I needed to be with him so much right now...but I couldn't. That was the curse of being with someone famous.

I went to bed, feeling so drained and shaky it was a miracle my feet were still working. I buried my face in the pillow, and somehow fell asleep.

..

The pounding in my head was well deserved. I groaned and buried my face tighter in the pillow, wishing I could crawl inside the damned thing.

"I got you some ibuprofen and orange juice," Bella's voice was soft and close to my ears. "You'll feel better once you take those."

I nodded, muttering garbled thanks and opening my eyes. The morning light blinds me momentarily and then causes the ache in my head to intensify. After I took everything, I buried my face back in the pillow, not to block the lights, but to cry.

What am I going to do right now?

There's no way in hell that I'd be able to go to work easily, and Jacqueline probably wouldn't appreciate my being late because I'm followed kind of thing. Then again, they probably won't go after me so much if Ashton's not with me. He's the famous one after all, not me.

"Now that you're feeling slightly better," Bella's voice inches closer just as she hops on the bed beside me. "You ought to pick up your damn phone."

My chest tightens and I rub at it. "No, Bella, I won't."

"You're so fucking childish right now, you know that? It's not his damn fault!"

"It is," I answer, surprised by the strong venom in my voice. "Partly, at least."