The broken and fragile

Part 9: Inner battle

I could feel my lip quivering slightly as I tried to keep myself from crying at my revelation. He brushed some of my hair out of my face and behind my ear, softly caressing my cheek. "You okay little wolf?" He asked the confusion clear in his voice.

I opened my mouth to speak, I wanted to speak to him I wanted to tell him so much. His shocked expression changed quickly when he saw my mouth open. Excitement joined his surprised features.

But I couldn't, for whatever reason I couldn't speak. Something in my head held me back. It was pulling me, making me go back in to my guarded bubble. I shook my head widely trying to break free from the hold but it was no use it was too strong.

I let go of Jared while stepping back from him a few feet. My hands flung to my head holding my hair in clumps and pulling at it. I kept shaking my head trying to break free but it just wasn't working. "Little wolf?" I heard Jared's voice full of concern.

I snapped out of my trance looking up to him. He stood a couple feet away slightly crouched to be eye level with me. One of his hands was reached out to me cautiously. Whatever it was that was trying to pull me back in succeeded when I was snapped out of my inner fight.

When Jared took a slow step towards me I took one back. Whatever it was that was pulling me put me back into my safe guarded bubble. Jared's face quickly transformed from concerned to hurt at my retreating form.

He retracted his hand back to his body and stood back to his full height. He seemed to be thinking for a few moments before he decided something. He gave a defeated sigh before bring his features back to their happy form that he always seemed to have when I saw him.

"Why don't you go sit over there and watch while I get to training. If you need anything you can ask me." He pointed over to a spot in the room that had a bench while he spoke. I glanced over to the wood bench that was covered in padding before looking back to him.

I felt horrible for rejecting him in a way when I backed away from him. I liked Jared I didn't want to hurt him. But there was really nothing I could do until I broke free from my mental barrier. I nodded to him before turning to the bench and took a seat.

He watched me for a moment before turning to the men that still stood in the same line as before. "Alright I want to see how you guys have been doing this week, no holding back." His voice took that authortive edge again that he always seemed to have with other people. I was glad he never used it with me.

He stood straight, his feet were spread apart in a firm stance, both his hands were clasped behind his back. He started naming off the men in pairs. When their name was called they would move together to a mat that was set in the room. There were more than enough for each to have their own but they shared one with the person they were paired with.