The Everyday Life of a Villain

Zero

"Nobody is a villain in their own story. We're all just heroes of our own stories." -George R. R. Martin

Credit

Thanks to @vinyl- for the cover, it's wicked

Summary

I, Declan, am not a villain. It's so bourgeois. Like, what makes a villain? The costume? The laugh? The moustache? Well, I don't have any of those, at least, not the moustache. I am what you can call an 'Anti'. No, not the anti-hero, it's still got the word hero. Why's everything got to be so black and white?

For example, the media seems to believe that if you're the one going against the person who likes to rescue cats from trees, you spend every waking moment only doing that; plotting their demise. Well, newsflash, I'm actually a human being! I have obligations! I do my own laundry, my own shopping, my own cooking! We don't all have little henchman, idiots.

So, as a way to prove the media imbeciles wrong, you get to follow my exploits in the modern world. But don't worry, there's more destruction than you might think.

Disclaimer

*I'm using prompts from the devil's advocate challenge, courtesy of clintskate, and since it's about a villain, there will be cursing and mentions of violence, drugs, sex, and stuff like that, though it's not really explicit, save for maybe the cursing

*Declan (the main character) isn't too messed up and crazy, but he does have his dark and creepily morbid moments, so be warned, though he does have his redeeming characteristics and morals

Okay, I think that's it! Coca Lola out! (get it? Coca Cola? No? Ok)