Crazy British Bella {Twilight}#Wattys2015

Chapter 3

"Mum, what the fuck is this shop keeper on about me having to go back to school again?" I ask, as soon as I storm into the living room, where dad and mum are both sat drinking away at a cup of tea.

She looks at dad before giving me a sheepish look, and putting her cup down.

"What do you mean sweetie?" She asks and I roll my eyes, digging my nails into my palms.

"The guy said my GCSE's dont mean nothing here. He said I will have to go back to school here. That's bullshit right, I'm sixteen, schools over for me." I argue, and this time dads responds using his calm tone.

"It's true Isabella, as long as we're in America you're going to have to go back to secondary school, otherwise the government, will either kick us out of the country or me and your mother will go to jail," He tells me, and my rage knots up inside my stomach.

"I don't give a fuck if we have to go back to England. I've been here one day and I already hate it. It's bloody cold as the arctic, and now I have to go back to school. That damned place," I mutter the last part instead of shouting.

"It might be different here Isabella, this is America, land of the free, home of the-"

"I doesn't matter where I am dad. Teenagers are all the same. Horny, rude, arrogant, cunts." I spit.

"Isabella! Language," Mum scolds.

"Look, when I made this agreement I got some information about good schools in the area, and some enrolment papers, I just need your signature-" Dad started, but the information clicked in my head.

"You knew before we came here. And you didnt tell me?" I asked very slowly, and the realization of his mistake appeared on dads face.

This has to be a joke, this can't be real.

"Isab-" I run off, up to my room, before he can continue.

I slam my door shut and rush straight for my bed where my panda bear sits straight in the middle. It was a present from my best friend Felix . I was only eight when he brought it for my birthday party. He was the only one who truly understood me, before he killed himself from the constant bullying he got.

I've never gotten to that stage to where I wanted to kill myself, because I was too scared to die. Call it being a coward, but I'm smart enough to realise, there is no God, and nowhere beyond the darkness that death brings. (Sorry God lovers, no offence Isabella is Crazy)

Also, I can stand up for myself, something Felix could never do. He took the words to heart, every word they spat at him, and now he is gone. He was probably the only other person except my parents who I could tolerate being stuck in a room with.

Now, as I undo the lining of the bear, and pull out some stuffing, I look at the shiny metallic object. I named my razor, as weird as it sounds, giving it a name makes it somehow nicer in my eyes.

I called it 'Fex' in memory of my old friend. So not only is every cut on my skin for my own sake, but for every bullie that said even one word to Felix.

Just one cut... one cut and the pain will all go away.

I grasp Fex in between my fingers and hold it against my wrist. I look at the sharp blade touching my skin, but not penetrating it. I just watch it sitting on my skin, balancing of the thought of drawing blood.

Use the diary Isabella.

I don't want to listen to the conscience inside me telling me to pull away, to pick up my useless diary. I want to cut, I want to bleed, I want this raging anger to go away. I just want to feel anything but this total madness inside me.

"Fuck." I spat in anger, throwing my blade against the pillows on my bed.

I jump off the sheets and go over to my desk draw to retrieve the diary, and little key for the padlock. I take off the lock, and flick to the page which has my fluffy pen wedged in between it.

Dear...person who doesn't even fucking care what I write,

How could I be such a fucking imbecile, and think that this move to America was to going to be a bag of rainbows. My first day her, the first bloody day, and there must be a heatwave going on because there is sweat everywhere on my body. Yes, I mean everywhere. The neighbour is a bubbly spirit, making want to stab her, or gauge her eyes out. I'm pretty sure I bumped into her son aswell, who was just standing in my way like a bloody wall. Now, I've found out some amazing news. I'm going back to secondary school, or high school as they say it over here.Fucking bullshit. The worst is dad knew this before we moved.I just wanted to cut myself, but I can't otherwise, mum and dad will see the scars, and send me straight to the loony bin. I'm just going to have to grit my teeth and stay away from them.Because I am not signing those papers.

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Just want to point out cutting if wrong, stupid, and your own chocie, so don't be a fool and do it. Florence, is my bestfriend, but shes not dead... (YET). Joking. And I hope your loving this crazy british chick.