Fifty Shades of Commitment

21- not edited

I nonchalantly guide Christian to the warm living room just down the hallway. When we arrive, I sit down in the main couch, and patiently wait for him to sit too for the dreaded talk. When he just stands in front of the leather armchair in expectation, and after 10 awkward seconds, I realize he's waiting for my permission to sit. Rolling my eyes in exasperation, I motion for him to sit with my hands. When he makes himself comfortable enough, after wiggling in his seat for a couple of seconds, he just stares at me, and I, getting really irritated with all the time he is taking, groan loudly and tug at the ends of my chestnut brown hair, unwillingly ruining my immaculate bum. I groan even louder.

I hear Christian chuckle, and I glare at him fiercely in response, to which he mutely zips his mouth, making me crack an unwanted smile at him.

"Ah," He mutters, almost as if to himself, as he drags the word. "There's that smile I love." He grins at me.

Shocked, I whip my head so fast my neck aches, even though the sight is worth it.

"You shouldn't say things like that." I whisper, in bewilderment. "Don't take me wrong, it's nice, but you know.." I leave the words unspoken.

"Why not Ana? Can't I compliment you?" He asks, and I swear he sounds totally genuine, which ticks me off. He knows why. Right?

"What do you mean why not? Christian, first of all, I'm your ex, and second of all, compliments like that, as innocent as they are, should be given to Paige. Your wife, in case you forgot." I point my index finger at his wedding ring, and he sighs in what I could sense was sadness. My chest aches in recognition of Paige, even though their marriage was something I could have never stopped.

"Paige.. right.. About that.." He mumbles in weariness. "That's actually one of the things I needed to talk to you about. Paige and I, we-" Before he could finish, he was interrupted by my voice.

"Christian, you don't owe me explanations. I understand everything that happened, and if you came here to gain some closure, or because you thought I held a grudge against either of you, then don't be. You have my blessing regarding your new family. What happened was completely normal: you fell out of love, you were afraid of my reaction and you went behind my back. I mean, of course I was hurt that you cheated on me, but it's all in the past now. Of course I still love you, and I probably always will, but-"

I was cut off by the smash of rough and dry lips against mine, and as soon as they connected, they instantly became wet and the kiss turned a lot more comfortable. I was stunned for a bit, and he instantly placed his arms around my neck to snuggle it closer to himself. The kiss started slow and light, as if we were unsure of each other's feelings. But god, were we sure of our own. You easily tell we craved and needed and desired and wanted each other, all at the same time, but it was frightening to know that it could end as quickly as last time. Through the kiss, I could feel that Christian was trying to deliver the message that he wouldn't allow that to happen, that we were forever, that we were endless, but I couldn't help but feel that he was wrong about that.

I could tell he was waiting for me to move my arms around his neck, to pull him closer, to grind my hips against his, but he wasn't going to stop the kiss to take breaths. However, when he did, all it took were those two seconds that passed while he took deep breaths for me to regain my senses.

What the fuck Ana! Paige! Paige! Paige!

I yanked myself off of him in the very same instant he leaned in for a second make-out session, but I was already frantically pacing the living room floor.

"WHAT THE FUCK! GOD CHRISTIAN! WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?!" I screamed as I tried to control my raging hormones. No matter the amount of sex I've been having, no man could ever make me feel the way he does.