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Christian aproaches me but stands outside the elevator. For the first time in forever, I want it to be slow. We share a glance at each other, his eyes filled with melancholy.. Shame.. Regret.. The list can go on and on, but in the end it still drags me down into an eternal dark pit of self-abhrorrence, shame and sorrow. How could I do this to him? The sight destroys me, oh it's such a fucking horrible sight.. My eyes burn, tears threatening to escape, bringing a whole ton of unsaid words. I squeeze, with difficulty, a really small feeling of self-control, and manage not to bawl my eyes out in front of him, and in consequence leaving me vulnerable, exposed.

"Ana... goodbye.." He whispers, his voice nothing like the multibillionaire CEO I met on the raining day of the interview. This is vulnerability at its best, and as I stare at his eyes I feel like I'm reaching into the shattered soul this man holds. Suddently, I'm not staring back at a man, I'm staring at a 4 year old little copper-haired boy with shining grey eyes, radiating sadness off him.

The way he muttered those two words under his breath, affected by his tears, completely shatters me, a thermonuclear explosion erupting in front of me. There is no protection, no defense, and I'm blown up in a thousand pieces.

This is real. This is actually happening. A goodbye.. to us. It all feels like my shoulder blades have just shifted, the sorrowful weight getting harder and harder to hold. I let out two words, while a tear runs silently down my cheek. The final tear. The ultimate tear. The goodbye, the farewell, the see you soon, the see you never. The ending tear, the heart squeezing tear. The end of us.

"Goodbye Christian.."

And mercifully, the doors close, allowing me to leave the heart-wrenching, throat-burning scene, leaving a thumping sound behind, echoing through my ears. What have I just done?

If I stayed a second longer though.. No force on earth could stop the shattering of my glass heart into tiny million pieces..

Once.. again..

~~~~~~

the bitch is back

ik its small

I MEAN REAAAALLY SMALL

but its sad as fuck

like tf dude I CRIED

maybe it was bc i was listening to lana del rey songs idk

lana del rey post depression

i should tell that to my shrink

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