Fifty Shades of Commitment

15- not edited

My eyes wince slighly when I open them, adjusting to the blinding light shining through the curtains of Seattle's Grace Hospital.

My thoughts are crowded with wonders of how I got here, or what I did to get in here, but suddently, realisation floods through me.

The cuts.

Whoever brought me here saw the cuts.

"Shit!" I gasp, desperatily detaching the plastics from my body. I notice that my wrists are engulfed in a clear white bandage, intensifying the feeling of embarassment and shame.

Moving towards the clothes spread on top of a hazel couch, I hear the screeching sound of a door being yanked open, and when I turn around I am met with the person I last expected to see.

"Elena?" I ask, uncomfortable and surprised with her presence.

Her platinum blonde hair shines brightly in the room, and the look of disgust she sends me through the orbs of her green eyes catches me off guard.

"You should be ashamed of yourself." She says, proudly flipping her hair behind her shoulder .

I am about to interject, when she continues. "I mean, I told you. I told you he would get tired of you, but you never listened. I warned you to back off, that he was mine, and that he would always be mine. Even if he is with a new bitch now, doesn't mean that he is. Do you seriously believe that Christian ever loved you? God, you truly are naive, Ana."

I feel the tears forming in the back of my cerulean eyes.

"Love is a useless emotion. He never loved anybody, and he never will. You were always one thing to him: a trophy wife. Nothing more, nothing less. And now he got tired of your uselessness. And he got a new one."

I tried as hard as I could to not let her words affect me, that they were venom, poison. But I couldn't. I couldn't because she was probably right.

"I mean Ana, just look at you. Him.. and you? Seriously?"

And in this moment, I knew she was right. I knew she was right because.. God, look at me. Me and him? How could I be so delusional?

"I was present at the wedding and do you want to hear something? I was there, right at the back row, and when they were saying their vows, your little Christian turned to me and you know what he did? He winked. Your husband winked at me, because he's mine. You enjoyed 4 years of marriage, while I enjoyed 4 years of fucking with your hot husband. You were there waiting for him while I was there waiting for his giant dick to come right in my mouth. Because he is mine. Never yours."

I couldn't breathe. I wasn't thinking properly in that moment but when I made one of the worsts decisions of my life and finally looked at her after staring at the mosaics on the floor, she clawed into my soul and slaughtered every little hope I had. And she smirked. She smirked because she knew she had got me. She knew she won. I was dead. Physically.. Mentally.. Emotionally.. Metaphysically.. I died, and once you die, there's no coming back from the dead.

She won, and I was the one who let her.

If I didn't care about what she said I would say that I just let the one good thing in my life go, but after this conversation, that's a lie, because you can't let something go, if they never even entered.

And I was never gained entrance to his heart.

She started walking away with that stupid smirk on her face, but when the door was halfway open, she turned around and finalised her speech.

"I heard the doctors saying you can leave today. You know what to do Ana. Stop being a pathetic excuse for a human, and do what needs to be done."

And then she walked away.

I was alone.

And for the first time in this break-up, I gained my much-needed closure.

And I'm going to seal that closure today.

For once, Elena was right.

I was going to do what needed to be done.

~~~~~~

bigger chapter bc im having my last week of finals next week, and I will only write again after thursday c:

JK WHO EVEN STUDIES FOR FINALS I JUST DIDNT WANT TO BOTHER WRITING MORE SORRY NOT SORRY MUCHACHOS