Fifty Shades of Commitment

2- NOT EDITED

No.. No. NO! No, please no..

"You... You..? Why? Why was I so stupid? I devoted 4 years of my life to our marriage, to you, to us. And you just, just..."

I trail off, not knowing how to end the phrase.

"Ana, you can't choose who you fall in love with." He says like if it was nothing, like if it could cover his huge mistake.

"Oh give me a fucking break Christian, you would've never fallen in love with her if you didn't think with your dick instead of with your brain. Maybe you should've been more focused on me, being here every fucking Wednesday worrying my fucking ass off, than with the amount of cum you could put on her loosen vagina and plastic boobs Christian. Give me a fucking break." I spat at him, all of my feelings telling me I should just simply spit at him because then maybe he would understand that bullshit excuses like the one he gave me don't work with me.

Paige enters the room, wearing a familiar lingerie. I suddently know exactly who that belongs to.

"Oh Ana, yesterday Christian thought you wouldn't mind if I used your underwear while we made sweet, sweet love in your bed. Is that okay with you? 'Cause you know, what's a king bed without a queen right?"

I cringed at her Justin Bieber reference. That was incredibly, what is the word for it? Ah, yes, 'lame'.

"And you're the queen? Damn Paige, I was thinking more along the lines of the catacombs's maid. Seems more fitting for you."

If she was hoping for a pissing contest, then she got her motherfucking pissing contest.

"And about the underwear, did it fit? I'm not sure due to the amount of silicone in your breasts darling."

Her reaction was priceless, as her mouth slowly hung open from all the shock. She probably never gotten told, and if she thought for one second that I was one of those Biblical religious never-to-insult-because-we're-saints wives then she thought wrong. Remember Christian's BDSM past that we used to practice together? Yeah, there's nothing saint about that.

"Where did all this confidence boost from?" Christian asked, his teeth bitting his cheek, trying not to laugh, but failing immensely. He gave me one of those 1080p megawatt smile that if you were to ask yesterday, I would say that it was the best smile of the world that I'd kill to see every day. But now, the best smile was really the victorious smile I was giving both of them, obviously due to the my next killer comeback.

"Probably from learning that my husband and his straight-from-Pornhub whore were cheating together." I say with a confident smile. Damn, that was a really good comeback, I gotta admit.

His smile instantly vanished, and he looked down at his shoes again and continued playing with his thumbs.

All I feel is disgust. Disgust for this man, this person.

"Paige, leave."

"Maybe staying is worth it.. That is if the punishment is what I have in mind, Mr. Grey." She then makes a forced, high-pitched and incredibly annoying giggle. God, I hate this woman. In the start, all the hatred was for the fact that she stole my man, but now things just got personal. Her attitude is beggining to really piss me off, and I won't take the blame if I suddently jump on her.

I can't stand here looking at my husband and his whore flirting.

"Paige. I mean it."

She quickly leaves, not before saying "I hope you think of something to discipline me later..". This is getting ridiculous. My eyes are sore from all the crying.

"Ana, I'm so sorry. I..."

"I'm going to leave. I'll take my stuff and don't forget to remove my photos. I'm sure neither Paige or you would want memories of me in this house." My voice sounds deeply pained.

"Oh and Christian?"

"Y... Yes, Ana?" He asks, hesitating.

And I decide to ask the million dollar question, not expecting him to give me an answer, but to himself. "What happened to the old you?"

And he just stares at me, my eyes locked with his, giving me mixed signals, as if trying to tell me a secret. I can see a tear forming in the corner of his left eye, trying to escape Christian's prison. Trying to show the world that the jail where he locks his emotions is unbearable. That his pain and hurt need to see the light of day. And as it slides down his cheek, I realize that this may not be what it seems like. That there might be more to this than what it seems. Nothing excuses what I saw and what he told me, but just for that single reason, as the doubt fills me, I feel compelled to reach him, not as his wife or a lover, but as his friend, and to kiss his tear away. And as I do so, I realize I've allowed 34 years worth of emotions to break out of Christian's jail, and for what seems like an eternity, I kiss every single tear he sheds. When his own soul is sated from all the crying, he looks at me and says nothing, but there's no need to. His beautiful grey eyes express two simple but immensely powerful words. Thank you.

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just wanted to let you know that I'm kinda having a writer's block crisis, basically I have eleven chapters written but then boom writer's block all over my face and just meh