Pieces of Forever

3 - JASON

"I'm selfish?" I ask her in a calm voice as I stand right in front of her.

"Yes." She crosses her arms across her chest. "I forgave you for fucking Leslie and the damn slut bucket of Chicago, but you can't forgive me? I only fucked Cameron once, asshole."

And here she goes with the name calling. I just look at her through slit eyes. "You fucked him without a condom."

"Oh, I'm sorry. Would it have been better, if I had used protection? Then maybe I will be able to deserve your forgiveness, huh?"

Ashlee and her friends walk out the building to see what the commotion is.

"New boy has drama already." One of them say.

"We'll talk upstairs." I say, quietly. I'm not really trying to have my business out there like that. I've never been the type to argue in front of people.

Mel just looks at me as tears threaten to fall from her eyes. "I'm sorry. I love you. I should have been honest with you, but I didn't know how to tell you. I don't want Cameron. I want you. I want this."

I look down at the ground. Hearing her cry will always make me feel like shit. I don't like seeing her hurt. I don't like hearing her cries. "We both messed up." I look back into her eyes. "It wasn't just you."

"You left me. Why would you do that? We made all these plans together. Then, you up and left me. I mean, this baby could be yours."

I shake my head. "Mel, I don't want to do this with you anymore. It shouldn't be this hard. If we get back together, I won't be able to trust you. We saw what happened the last time that I lost trust in you."

"No." She cries. "No, Jason. I'm not trying to hear that. Please." She says, barely moving her lips. "Please." She begs again.

I look away from her. I catch Ashlee staring at us. Her friend grabs her by the arm and pull her away. This girl probably thinks that I have a whole lot of drama. She doesn't even know the half of it. I look back at Melissa's tear stained face. I'm so weak for her.

I pull her into my arms and wrap my arms around her body. She throws her arms around my neck and cries harder into my chest. I will always have a soft spot for her. I don't really want this relationship with her anymore, but I don't want to see her shed tears over us. I don't know what I'm going to do, because I don't want to try anymore.

I stand there with her in my arms, thinking about ways of letting her go. I know that we love one another, but at times it feels so damn toxic. She raises her head up and look into my eyes. She kisses my chin, lightly. She doesn't know it, but I think it's cute how she gives me little kisses right before going for my lips. I lean down and press my lips against hers. Damn . . . I miss these lips.

*****

Terrance and I set the couch down in the living room. We haven't really said much to one another. I know that he is most likely upset with me for considering taking her back. That's not the case though. It appears that way from the outside, because Melissa is putting dishes away and unpacking boxes. I just need to have a serious talk with her about my feelings. I seriously doubt that I can be faithful to her. I need my space.

"I'm going to get the small boxes, man." Terrance says as he walks out the front door.

"Okay." I say as I make my way to the bedroom to see Mel.

I walk into the room and catch her looking in the full length mirror with her shirt up. I watch her as she rubs her stomach and look sadly at her reflection. I can see the sadness all in her eyes. Hell, no one is as sad as me. I take a seat on the bed, startling her.