Diaries Of A Directioner

Day Two.

Day Two 3/11/13;

Goodmorning, how did you sleep? I didnt sleep, again. I havent been sleeping right since i tried committing suicide. Im so tired, maybe I'll stay home today. My mom would probably get mad at me, but i dont care. Im going to try and sleep, write some more later. Xx

Present

"Tess! Get up! You're going to be late!" 

My mom shouted, i rolled over and shoved my face into my pillow.  

"Tessa?" 

"What mom?" 

"Breakfast!" 

She yelled, i immediately got up and ran to the kitchen, hoping to find food. There was warm floppy pancakes sitting on a plate for me. I grabbed a fork, and the plate and walked to my room. As i ate the pancakes i got ready and listened to music.  

"Lets go Tess! You're going to be late!" 

My mom shouted, i grabbed my ipod, bag, and journal. I hated walking through these doors, its like hell.  

"Who let the dog in?" 

Emma snapped as soon as i walked in, i saw Sarah standing by her. 

"Why did you talk to this nasty piece of shit again?" 

Emma asked her, then smiled at me. Sarah shrugged her shoulders and looked away. I walked past them and went to my first class.

Journal;

Well this morning hasn't been too great, Emma is already starting to be a bitch today. I dont really understand why she hates me, but she does. I wish i knew the answer. But anyways, the boys have been tweeting all day! I can't look at them yet, because im in school, but i cant wait too! My love for them is growing, and i feel like i actually know them, its pretty cool. Everyone is looking at me again, did i miss something?

Present;

"Hello? Are you seriously deaf?" 

The guy behind me tapped on my shoulder. 

"What?" 

I asked him.  

"Did you hear what Emma is saying about you?" 

I shook my head, growing nervous to ask why. 

"No, why?" 

I sat there, frightened to know what i was about to hear. 

"She's saying you slept with some 34 year old for 25 cents, and you have STD's." 

I got up from my chair, and stormed out of the room, i knew everyone was staring at me, and i didnt care.  

"Where is Emma Sterling at?" 

I asked, as i slammed my hands down on the counter. The lady in the office looked at me. 

"Room 203." 

I stormed down to the room, and as i got closer, i slowed down. I put my back to the locker, and slid down to the floor. I brought my knees to my chest, and began to cry. I couldn't pull myself together.

Journal;

Today is over, and let me tell you, i hate myself even more. I almost tried to commit suicide again. I cant stand this anymore, my twitter is blown up with shit about me that isnt true, but on the bright side, Niall Horan noticed me! He also followed me! Hmm, im going to tweet something! I said, "Are all of you going to believe this shit about me? Fucking bull. Leave me alone, you dont know my story." 

I closed my laptop, and now im laying here in my bed, writing. Today has been stressful, thank god tomorrow is Saturday. Ohh hey, my phones vibrating, bet you its a stupid tweet from Emma. HOLY SHIT, NIALL HORAN REPLIED TO MY TWEET! He said, "@MyNamesTessa dont let others ruin your day! Smile, its there weakness." Holy fuck. Sorry for my language, but im crying right now. I was lucky to get noticed and a follow! Now hes talking to me! Today is getting better, although now that im scrolling through twitter, its getting worse again. I replied to Niall, "@NiallOfficial thanks! But its hard to smile when you get it everyday!" He doesnt care, why am i replying to him? Oh well, im going to cry myself to sleep now. Goodnight. Xx