something missing..(G!p X Girl)

22. it still hurts.

The time was six-oh-five, and becky checked it one last time before she jammed her hands into her pockets.

Her leather jacket wasn't for that kind of weather but her body was warm because she was exited to see her wife.

from movie tickets, a film she had seen with freen two years ago....she had taken that as a positive sign.

becky had considered asking if she wanted to meet somewhere else once the weather had taken a turn for the worse, but she had been afraid to disturb the tentative acceptance freen had given her earlier.

Still, becky had hoped it wouldn't dissuade her from coming.

becky brushed off the bench seat beside her. The snow muffled the sounds of traffic and all other signs of life, filling the air around her with a quiet hush, and the sight was beautiful.

The exposed areas of her face were freezing, and her arms crossed over her chest, her legs tense, but she was trying to stay calm.

Even if freen didn't come, becky would see her again in therapy....

but that was six days away....Even when they had been in L.A and they hadn't really seen that much of each other, at least becky had been able to sleep beside her. At least she'd had that, even if freen hadn't counted it as anything.

becky fought the urge to spring up and pace as she waited, and glanced up to see a figure approaching from the path....she recognized her brown long coat and becky heart rose in her throat....she hadn't let herself realize how truly desperate she was for freen to agree to meet her until that moment.

But she didn't know what to say as freen approached....becky wished with every fiber of her being that she would suddenly find exactly the right words, but all she felt was speechless gratitude.

becky just wanted to hold her wife, and never let her go....But it hurt so much when she reached for freen and she flinched or turned away.

freen steps slowed to a stop a few feet away from becky, and she reached up to brush a stray lock of hair out of her face as he rose.
Her expression was so guarded; her brown eyes were sharp. But at least she had come.

becky cleared her throat.
"Thank you," she told her.

freen lips tightened. She pulled her hands out of her pockets and crossed them over her chest, shivering a little, and becky again fought the urge to reach for her.

"I thought I was doing the right thing,"
she told becky, and her eyes were gleaming.
"When we came here that afternoon and I agreed to go with you. You were so excited and I... I wanted to be happy for you. I wanted to believe that it was the best choice for us.
Kind of like I'm telling myself that therapy is what we should be doing right now."

becky flinched at the comparison, taking a step toward her.

"But me wishing doesn't change a damn thing,"
freen told becky, and then stopped and swallowed hard.
"I know you... you want to prove to me, somehow, that you aren't the girl you turned into while we were out there, and I wish you could... God, I wish we could just turn everything back..."

becky took another step closer to her. "freen, if I'd known... I would never have asked you. I would never have stayed there..."