Purple Velvet: Diaries of a Rainbow Teen

21

Tuesday 5 September 1995
Dear Journal,
Its me tori. Mom helped me pack for my trip to the school for the blind. Its school again which means O&m which means orientation and mobility. Blind speak for learning how to cross streets and get to places with your cane. I don't like O&m because it can be boring. But there's also cool  things like cooking, and daily living skills. Things like learning to talk on the phone and stuff like that. This along with reading and writing and memorizing your personal information.
Dorm life can be cool depending on the staff but some of the meals. Yuck! At least all my friends will be there with me so we can hang out when we're not being all made to learn this or that. Don't get me wrong, I do love to learn. But some stuff is just boring.
With my suitcase packed with the week's stuff, I don't spend weekends at school because I live so close mom made sure all my medicine was packed, my favorite stuffed teddy bear who was sewn with velvet instead of fur by a family friend, and my egg crate mattress because I can't sleep on those hard mattresses and the water proof protector I was ready. I was feeling good lately and was hoping to not land in the hospital too much this year. Mom also packed some diapers for me.
Some kids tease me because I have to wear them sometimes. But I told them "Fine you have seizures and have accidents." "You get sick and need to focus on getting well and go on long trips where you feel always ready to have a problem." They just said I was too old. I said I didn't care. I only wear them in those times and at night. But I've been having more problems with that lately.
The teachers have tried and tried to wean me off of them, but finally my mom said if its more trouble they should focus on my schooling rather than figuring out the first exit to the bathroom. Because when I have to go, I Need to go. Its not a question of I have to and can wait, its now. I also packed some of my sensory stuff in my velvet bag that I take with me on long trips.
Its purple velvet with gold strings and holds some of my favorite things in it. Some of the staff say its not appropriate to carry all that with me. But when I need something to use to keep me calm its that or touching everything in site to see what it feels like. They also go on and on about blindisms like rocking. Some people poke their eyes or put pressure on their eyes. I did once get in trouble for saying to one of the staff that maybe it feels good and how would you feel if you had no way of getting calm again.
When I finally was able to explain myself the teacher said that there are other ways of calming down. I disagreed to myself but didn't say. I think its important to be yourself even if it means bringing things to calm you down or rocking.
We stopped at the infirmary so mom could hand over all my medicines. I have an inhaler I need to take every day, another one if I have trouble breathing, a nebulous ER if I'm really bad off, an allergy pill, two seizure medicines, a pill if I get nauseated, because sometimes I just throw up. Nobody knows why I do. they've done lots of food allergy tests on me but I'm not allergic to any foods. It will sometimes just happen. I'll feel all queasy all of a sudden and then throw up.
If I take the nausea pill right away I can keep it from happening, or if it does it happens later so I can get to somewhere to do it. I also take a medicine for headaches. I've been having headaches and the doctor says its migraine headaches. He thinks the throwing up is a different kind of migraine, a stomach migraine.
Once we were done, mom also telling the nurse I need to be on a high calorie diet we went to the dorm to get me settled in. I was to share a room. Our dorm doesn't have very many individual beds. So sometimes you share four or three to a room. There's one that even shares five.
I was to have the five bed room. Five desks, five dressers, five beds and a bathroom all to ourselves.
When I got there Jessie and Alex were already there. I got unpacked and put my braille labeled toiletries on top of the dresser. As soon as I got there they showed another girl into our room.
She's kinda middle height Jessie says with brown hair and green eyes. They told us her name is Skyla Ferguson. She was one of the new girls this year. We were getting two new girls and three new boys. Of course we don't share rooms with boys. Eew!
Skyla sat on her bed with its comforter. Jessie has just a plain flowery one. Alex has a scratchy thin one, mine is velvet filled with feathers. But Skyla's is furry. She was squeaking "Fur!" Jessie sighed and mumbled, "Not another one."
I went over and introduced myself and Skyla was rubbing her forehead on the furry comforter. I also began to squeak because even though velvet is my favorite I love all kinds of textures. Then another girl came in.
She was bouncing around all happy and telling her mom something about dinner. Her mom spoke to her in another language. I love languages and had to ask what they were speaking. Then Stella one of the staff came in and said, "Everyone this is Hoa Lài Linh Bao." "She's from Vietnam." "Bao Lin Hoa Lài." Said the girl, "We say our names with last middle then first name." "I have to get used to the way things are done here." "I was adopted." "Most people call me Jasmine." "That's what Hoa Lài means anyway." "I have two names, Jasmine Anderson, and the other name which means Peaceful Jasmine Spirit." "But call me whatever you want."
Once Skyla and Jasmine were settled it was time for dinner. We all went to the dining hall, showing Skyla and Jasmine the way. "I'm going to miss the Vietnamese food." "But the Anderson are learning Vietnamese so they speak it too me." "Is it true they eat dog?" Asked one of the boys, Jerri was one of the boys who did. "Jaime that is inappropriate and you know it." That was David the boy's staff.
Jasmine looked around, "Sometimes some people do." She said and had all the boys making throw up noises, "But I never did." "What about cats?" Asked Jerri, "Jerri, Jaime both of you will quit it now or you'll not have dessert." "Jasmine don't answer that." "No we don't eat cats, eew!" She said.
Tonight's dinner was string beans, yuck, they have no flavor at all. Why couldn't they just put butter in them and salt. Roast chicken, mashed potatoes which were lumpy and brownies for dessert. Alex was being picky and would only eat the garlic bread. The chicken with its bones in she hated. Finally one of the staff named Wendy said if Alex didn't eat something she couldn't have a brownie. Skyla got some extra vegetables because she's vegetarian and Jasmine ate all the food. Jessie ate everything except the string beans.
I ate everything except the string beans also. Then we all trooped into the main room of the dorm. The boys get the bottom half and the girls get the top, but there's a couple of big rooms where we talk about the rules and learn about the staff who are there.
Its my turn for the shower so I have to go. But today wasn't so bad.
Wednesday 6 September 1995
Today we went to class where our teacher Mr Davis was telling us what we'd learn. We were going to learn math, go on field trips, and work on daily living skills. He also told us that we'd get to do things like swimming and goalball. Goalball is played by three people on either team on either side of the gym. The ball was filled with bells and you had to get the ball past the other team.
There was also track and field, which I wouldn't be able to do because of my asthma. But I could do swimming and goalball as long as I took it easy. I could do PE as well.
Jasmine could speak pretty good English as she'd ben adopted in February and was smart. So she took the same classes as us but also had to spend time learning braille. But she could see well enough too to use very large print. Skyla was learning grade 1 braille. Grade 1 braille is all the letters of braille spelled out. Grade 2 is used when you know your alphabet and could then use contractions like ch for child. One of the guys loves math and was pouring over the math book when we had all moved on to our journals.
Mr Davis got onto him to write in his journal. When I told Mr Davis I already had a journal and could I continue to use it he agreed. Alex and Jessie also. He seemed pleased that the three of us were already doing journals. Jerri and some of the other boys weren't happy at having to write journals. "Write whatever you want as long as it has what you did yesterday and a couple thoughts." Said Mr Davis, "And they can't be thoughts like I hate this journal stuff." "I already know you hate it." "Too bad."
Even though Mr Davis was strict I liked him. I could tell Alex didn't. Jessie just follows the rules so I wouldn't hear about it until later. that's how Jessie is. Mr Jordan my mobility instructor was teaching me how to use the bus today. I wasn't happy about it because it was after three which at normal schools means no more classes. When I got back to the school I had to go to the infirmary to take my seizure meds. I was tired and didn't want to do anything.
Jessie and Alex were arguing when I came into our room. Jasmine was practicing her reading and Skyla was laying on her bed stroking her fur comforter. I sat on my bed and put my headphones in and started reading a book. I love braille but its nice when someone can read for you. I was startled out of my relaxing by Stephanie one of the staff telling us it was time for dinner. I squeaked and put my headphones down.
After dinner we all watched a movie together with some popcorn and sodas from the vending machine. I started feeling off after I ate the popcorn. My stomach started gurgling in that way it does. This stomach migraine wasn't going to let me wait for the pill. I could tell.
I jumped up and fell over Skyla who was sprawled out on the ground. "Tori you need to pay attention." Said Stephanie. By now I was shivering and sweating. "I'm sorry." I said carefully.
I started to walk out the door and didn't make it. Just on the threshold I threw up. Stephanie didn't say anything but got the mess cleaned up while I went to the infirmary. I took the pill because even though I threw up it would keep me from doing it again. Some 7up and dry crackers I was feeling better. They called my mom who explained about the stomach migraines and that it probably wasn't the flu. When I went back to the dorm I laid down. I got up long enough to write this down. But I need to lay down again. I still feel yucky.