Purple Velvet: Diaries of a Rainbow Teen

16

Tue 1 Aug 1995
Dear Journal,
Its me Jessie. After the big fall out between me and Alex tori tried to patch things up. But somehow the secret was out. Alex knew I didn't like her. Tori was mad because Alex didn't want Tori sticking up for her or me. /Alex wanted Tori to pick between her and me as friends. Tori of course would never pick between two friends. She'd known me most of our lives. But she'd known Alex for a long time also. just as we were about to leave for the hike mom got a call from Aunt Betty in Vermont and she wants me to go visit her for the rest of the Summer because mom and dad need to go somewhere for a business trip. Its not fair. I guess Jolene and Jordan will be going to different relatives. I love Aunt Betty and my aunt has a lot of fun with me. But I hate not spending time with Tori. I'm supposed to leave around the tenth and get back just before school starts.
This summer wasn't like the last ones we'd had. When I told mom this she said, "Jessie you are all getting a little older." "Tori couldn't help that her Uncle Rob died." "Alex couldn't help that she got the stomach flu." "And you can't help this either." "But Summer." I cried, "You'll have a nice Summer with your Aunt." "Besides Tori isn't going to horseback riding camp either."  I sighed softly. So now I have to go away to Vermont. tori told me that she saw Tara at the hospital yesterday.
Apparently Tara isn't doing so well. She's been sick and has had to return to the hospital already. Her full name is Altara but Tori calls her Tara for short. they call themselves the T Twins. Tori and Tara. One of the rude boys from school Jerri Shyster teased them by singing the old song. Instead of pairing tori with a boy he sang.

Tori and  Tara sitting in a tree.
K I S S I N G.
First comes love.
then comes marriage.
Then comes baby in the baby carriage.
Tori was so mad at Jerri she called him a Dork. tori is so not into Tara that way. She's not even interested in boys. Of course we've heard about gay people. But we wouldn't ever think of something like that. tori told Jerri he was way out of line. Tara stomped away and refused to speak to him. This was before Christmas break last year. After Christmas break tori still never spoke to Jerri, which is so not like her, because Tori is way more forgiving than anyone I know.
Finally she forgave him but said if he ever did something like that she'd never forgive him. I guess she was really offended, because outside Tara and me, and Alex everyone loves her and thinks she's the coolest. But outside of us she hasn't got a lot of friends. She tries to make friends with everyone at the school and she does. But I think she has the mind that if they don't be friendly back she sort of closes off to them.
I talked to Alex and apologised to her for the argument, not the whole thing, but for my part of it. I guess we're ok again, but with Alex you can never tell. Its not that I don't like Alex. But Alex isn't like tori. She listens to her CD player or plays with her stuffed animals all the time, which is something you just don't do. We're all getting older and I think Alex isn't older in her mind. Her body is, thanks to her period she got, but her mind is still like a little kid's mind.
Mom says not to think badly of Alex because Alex has more problems than I do. I try not too, and I've been trying. But i feel so mature next to her. tori is a little immature but not much. Her main thing is that she still thinks everyone can be friends and that's not true. She's good at being nice and friendly. She's good at making friends if she needs too. But she still has her sensory room and she takes breaks at school to hold her bag with her toys in that calm her down.
I guess I'm a bit too judgemental or I could be. But sometimes I just don't care what others think about me. I'm me, I follow the rules. I do what I'm told, but I don't like being told what to do. This trip to Vermont for example. I don't want to go. I know without my camps I'll be bored out of my skull.
But mom says I have to go. We got back from the coast yesterday, so I shouldn't be bored mom says. She's yelling at me now though because I have to do the dishes. I don't want to do the dishes. But I have too. She's off to go somewhere and Jolene and Jordan are going. I guess school shopping. they both go to this christian academy place and I would love to have gone there. But mom says because I'm blind I couldn't go.
She promises that when I get back from Vermont we'll go school shopping. I don't need much because I'm going back to the school for the blind. But mom insists that I have some nice clothes for school anyway. why do parents care about that stuff more than anything else I wonder? Anyway I should go do the dishes. Bye for now.