Purple Velvet: Diaries of a Rainbow Teen

15

Fri 21 Jul 1995
Dear Journal,
Mom called last night to say they were coming here to the coast so we could spend time before we went into the woods for our camping trip. I still have my horseback riding camp, or would have but since the funeral mom didn't fill out the application in time.
So we're staying at the coast. Alex's and Jessie's parents will be coming on Tuesday so we can all spend time together and Beth and Mark can go back home. They need to be home to take care of all the horses. Alex is feeling better which is great. It did make me feel really sick when Alex threw up on me. But I understood that she didn't mean too, so I'm trying to not think about it that much.
I've been spending my days on the beach, or at the shops. I can tell that Mark doesn't like Alex that much, because he talks to her, but not as much as he talks to Jessie or me. Maybe he's still mad she threw up all over his van. I woke up this morning early to look for sea shells. I wanted to take some back to Tara who mom says is still in the hospital. I guess she had a bad chemotherapy session last week and hasn't been doing good. She'd cried the last time I saw her. All her summer plans were ruined. Her mom says that Tara is doing better but she's still relay weak and now she has no hair. Maybe I'll ask mom if I can shave my head so I can be like Tara when she goes back to school, if she goes back.
Tara's mom says Tara will probably go to school, but have to miss some days because of the chemo. Jessie's talking about probably getting some award from her church when she gets back for memorising bible verses or something. It will be good to go back to school. I love the summer and all the stuff we get to do. But school is good too, because I get to hang out with the others.
I was told last night by Beth that Star is going to have a colt next year so I'm happy about that too.
I almost got in trouble with Beth this afternoon because I didn't want to take my meds. I'm usually good at taking them, but I also just wanted to go shopping. Beth had to get stern with me and remind me that I needed to take my meds or mom would find out. Finally I took my meds and we're about to go to the mall.
Sat 22 Jul 1995
Mom and dad just got here. We were sitting on the porch drinking lemonade and laughing about a game we were going to play later when their car drove up. I couldn't see it but Mark said, "They're here." Mom came out of the car looking tired and carrying her bag. Dad came next lugging his suitcase as well. then Jessie's mom and dad, and Ale's parents cars showed up. I thought they wouldn't get there until Tuesday. But mom said that since she and dad were coming they should make a caravan of it. Mark and Beth were already pack and they said how they'd miss me but to have a good time while I was here.
Alex went over and started to complain  once Beth and mark had said their goodbyes how we'd all been eating seafood and fish, lots of steak and not enough burgers for her. Her mom said how since they were Jewish eating seafood wasn't good, and why wasn't Alex being grateful to the Hayne's for letting her stay. So far she'd just heard complaints.
Jessie's younger sister and brother hopped out of the car and started teasing her. "Jolene and Jordan, cut that out this minute." "Jessica come here and let me look at you."
We've all been sitting by the fire eating potato salad fried chicken and hot dogs for Jolene and Jordan, and homemade rice crispies treats from Alex's mom, and chocolate chip cookies from Jessie's mom. the grownups began talking about the trip here and how beautiful it was and I started getting bored. "Come on." I told the others." As we stepped off the porch mom said, "Tori don't go too far." "We won't mom, just going to the beach out back." "fine then."
"I'll go keep an eye on them." Said Alex's mom, "No leave them for a bit, come back in a bit, its almost time for bed." We walked down, feeling our way through the dark, down the steps to our bit of beach with our canes swishing through the sand. I saw the stars and sighed, sitting down to listen to the ocean's roar and feeling the wind. "I love it here." I said softly as we all sat down in the sand. We heard the voices of the grownups in the distance and I smelled the salty air.
"Would you want to live here forever?" Asked Jessie. "Yes I would." I said, "Tori?" Alex asked, "Hmm." I said, "I'm sorry about throwing up on you, and I'm sorry I've been complaining." Alex said into the silence. She was being quiet and I sighed. I didn't want bad talk between us, "Ah." I said." "Well its not like you could help throwing up Alex." "But you need to not complain so much." "We're having fun." "Yeah Alex." Said Jessie, "We're all having fun." "I just am not used to all this stuff." Said Alex. "Well." I said, "Sometimes you have to just start somewhere." I said trying to be nice.
"Its easier for you two." Said Alex, "Jessie you're so smart and I'm not." "Tori, you're so nice and I'm not." "I'm always being in trouble and you aren't." "Its not fair everything's easier for you guys." We all listened to the ocean for a long moment after Alex spoke. "Well Alex life isn't easy for anyone." Said Jessie, "And you don't like me I can tell." Said Alex. Jessie gasped, "Its not that I don't like you Alex." Said Jessie trying to be friendly. "Well you don't like me, so don't pretend anymore." said Alex starting to sniffle.
"Alex you're just not growing up as fast as me or tori." "So its hard sometimes." "You still act like you're six or seven." "You're twelve now." "Twelve year olds don't cry all the time." "Twelve year olds are almost teenagers." "Tori and I are." Jessie stopped speaking as Alex looked at her, "I can't help it I'm not like you." Alex yelled, "Alex its all right, we're all different." I tried to say, "You stay out of this tori." Alex said meanly, "Don't yell at tori." Jessie yelled right back, "the only reason you're friends with Tori is because Tori's nice." Said Jessie, "you don't really like the things she likes." Said Jessie, "Neither do you." Said Alex hotly, "You don't like horseback riding or any of that stuff." She finished, "I don't have to, I've known her since we were three years old." Said Jessie, "What's going on out here?" that was Alex's dad, "I need to go to bed." I said standing up. I liked Alex, but Alex was being a bit more whiny than usual, and Jesse wasn't helping things.
"Alex and I were just having a bit of a disagreement." Said Jessie, "I see." Said Alex's dad, "Well its time for bed." "Come on all of you."
I've brushed my teeth and taken my meds, I'm in my pjs and about to go to bed. Alex and Jessie aren't speaking to each other. I'm actually getting tired of their arguments lately. I need to talk about this with Dr Winston when I get back home.  Jessie is in her bed down the hall and I can hear Alex's parents scolding her. I guess i need to sleep before I hear more than I should.