Purple Velvet: Diaries of a Rainbow Teen

8.

    Friday June 23rd 1995
    Its Alex again. Jessie and I were wondering why Tori's mom was at the school. we were told not to worry about it and that Tori had things to do. Was it going to be like the last Summer when we all had things going on? Alex and I sat in our room tonight feeling completely alone. Usually tori was there to play a game with us or we would all sit and read a book together. Sometimes we'd talk about Touched by an angel or Dr Quinn Medicine woman, two of Tori's favorite shows.
    Sometimes we'd talk about our teachers or the other students or we'd go out with the staff to a movie, or just hang out listening to music. But not today. We fell asleep and today's been weird weird weird not having tori around. She didn't come back last night. When we were in class her mom came to get Tori's stuff. Alex found out after I cried that her suitcase and backpack brailler and cane weren't there.
    Why wasn't she coming back? I had asked Lorna one of the other staff members, "That's for Tori to know." "She will tell you some other time."
   Jessie couldn't sleep all night last night and without Tori she seemed smaller more fragile. I was worried. Would she be back in time to spend the rest of Saturday with me before I went to Jewish camp?
Jessie wanted to know if tori would be back before she went off to Space camp.     We sat down to lunch and I barely ate anything worrying about Tori. Alex ate slowly then stood up and wouldn't eat anymore either. The class dragged on and on. the talent show was like a blur and we were all good at the stories and plays we'd written and songs we'd sung.
    But Tori and her suitcases aren't here now and its almost 8 o:clock in the evening. Nearly time for bed.
    We're being told it's time for bed so, I guess we need to go to bed. But I don't want to go. I want to turn back time to this time yesterday when Tori was still here. At least until shortly after lunch.
Saturday June 24th 1995
I wok up in such a bad mood. tori was still not here, Jessie was whining about not having tori there, and it was not here. I started to cry and scream and felt myself completely not myself. I felt my body becoming numb and my mind was a blur. I wet myself but I was like whatever Tori is gone and there's no one else I like. Jessie even was all "Eeew gross you peed yourself!" But I was like "Whatever." That is until Stela made me take a shower. On the day I was supposed to come home, I'd had a shower the night before, so why. but I did whatever because Stella or Lorna or Joyce would have been all, "You need to take a shower because you smell!" But in that high pitched yada yada talk some people have.
So I got in the shower and cleaned myself up and then mom came to take me home. She was all "Why did you do that Alex?" All screaming red. I never told anyone this, but when people talk I can almost tell what they are thinking, not really but if they are calm I see soft blue, when they are yelling at me I see screaming red. When someone cries I see a bright yellow. I can only see dark and light, but in my mind I must have seen colors once, or maybe I imagine it, or maybe its synesthesia. I don't know, but the screaming red is there no matter what.
Mom says its time for me to eat lunch so I guess I better go. Aargh!