Purple Velvet: Diaries of a Rainbow Teen

19

        Saturday 12 August 1995
    Dear Journal,
    Its me Jessie. I've been at my aunt's for a few days. I get to call Tori and Alex every night for fifteen minutes. Aunt Betty is this great baker who sells stuff at the farmer's market. That's where we were today.
    I thought it was boring but I know Tori would love that kind of thing. In fact her parents or one of her caregivers takes her every Saturday to go choose vegetables and fruits and things she likes from there. Aunt's house is big with lots of woods and fields and she has a dog. I don't really like dogs that much.
    They smell, they have fleas although Aunt Betty says her dog Lady doesn't have fleas because that's one of the things you do if you are a responsible pet owner. You get them shots, take them to the vet, and give them flea medicine as well as feeding, walking, and cleaning up after their poop.
    Personally I think that's too much work and I even said so. Aunt Betty just laughed and said that it was like having a kid. She doesn't have any kids and she says her fur baby was enough for her to take care of. When I asked why she didn't' have kids she said that she couldn't have them because she had her insides taken out when she was twenty. She had cancer and they got it all but it means she can't have any.
    I do have to admit its quiet here with just Aunt Betty and when she's baking i can listen to my music or write in my journal. Alex called me last night in tears saying that Anna and Isaac got married and she didn't go to the wedding. When I asked why not she said its because she had a toothache and couldn't go because she didn't feel well.
    She was so mad she didn't get to go that she had one enormous fit and made her mom mad at her. Alex hopes they have a kid right away.
    When I talked to Tori she said how she and Alex got to go to Eugene for some summer festival. Alex as usual was complaining but tori's aunt was firm with her back. Well I need to go, Aunt Betty is a Catholic and likes to go to early morning Mass. Whatever that is.
    Mom and dad and aunt Betty fought about religion when she changed over. But Aunt Betty is stubborn and after a few years they made up. I'm glad because aunt Betty's nice.

        Wednesday 16 August 1995
    Its been a few days since I wrote but we've been busy making cookies and brownies for a bake sale. Aunt Betty is big in her church and they were having a fund raiser to raise money for school supplies for kids who couldn't afford them. My aunt is nice like that I think. Sunday we went really early to church and she introduced me to all her friends.
    It was nice to meet them, but they all started saying how quiet I was and "What a sweet little Angel." that kind of stuff is like not my thing. I mean I am quiet, but those people were probably thinking about how blessed I was or something.
    Mom and Dad's church do the same, but I've known them longer. the only thing I hate is when they decide they need to pray for my healing. I mean come on. I believe in god. I'm a born again Christian. But if God wanted me sighted he'd have made me sighted.
    I remember this one time when a visiting preacher came to our church. He anointed my eyes with oil and started praying in tongues. That's when you start speaking from the Holy Spirit. I don't understand it all. but if you pray that way, the Holy Spirit is supposed to heal you or whatever.
    Thank God these people didn't do that. They just said they'd pray for me. Which is fine since praying for someone doesn't involve me standing there with people expecting me to see the light or whatever. When I told tori this she laughed.

        Sunday 20 August 1995
    Last night Aunt Betty had a dinner party for some of her friends and I was invited. It was alright. Aunt Betty cooks up up a storm. tori would love aunt Betty, except for the catholic thing. Tori is glad she gets to choose her own religion. That makes me a little jealous because what kid gets to decide something like that? Tori's parents are different, my mom says they remind her of hippies or something, without all the bad stuff.
    Today we went for a walk and Aunt Betty baked for the fund raiser. Its tomorrow. I only have a few more days with her before I have to go back home and get ready for school. Aunt Betty says we'll go camping in the woods and have s'mores and go fishing.
    I cringed a bit but she really wants me to have a good time. I do, because Jordan and Jolene aren't in my hair all the time.
Aunt Betty's next-door neighbor came over for me to play with. But when the girl found out that I was Blind she went home right away. This made me so angry because like, what is wrong with hanging out with a blind girl? When I asked my aunt about this later she said "some people just don't know how to deal with people who are different from other people." "well I don't care!" I said angrily. I went off to my room and thought about it for a while and I still am angry about it. It doesn't matter to me if someone's blind or disabled people should be friends with people no matter what.
    but then I thought about this journal and all the writing that I doing it. There's a lot of unkind things that I say about Alex. It's not that I don't like her, but she does get on my nerves sometimes. I mean why do you have to be so immature? I thought about this for a long time too and it made me wonder, would I like to be treated like I treat Alex? Finally, I decided that I really wouldn't want to. And by the time that I finally decided I didn't wanna be treated like that I fell asleep. Later I asked Aunt about it and she said that she would pray for me. I suppose I need to do some praying too. Maybe, when we get back to school I really need to apologize to her.