Patient B-2

Chapter Thirty-Four: Avalyn

 Waking up in my bed for the first time in nearly two weeks felt surreal, like a dream. I try to move, but Aren's hand grips tightly at my waist, holding me firmly against him. In fact, I haven't been able to move since we hit the bed. He hasn't let up, and I'm starting to wonder if I'm destined to lie here forever.

 As the morning arrives, I find myself waking up at noon, while Aren still lies beside me, soft snores reverberating through the room. The house is eerily silent, and the fact that we slept through the night without interruption only adds to my growing concern— Idalia still isn't here.

 The thought worries me; I was counting on her return. With her absence lingering, I realize we may need to start looking for her. However, I wouldn't even know where to begin.

 I don't know where Jessie resides, though I doubt she'd ever stay with him for this long. There's a strong possibility she's with the people from my past, but it's hard to imagine them all working together, let alone cohabitating. The fact that some of her belongings are missing does suggest she's staying somewhere else, and there aren't many other places she could be.

 Finding Wrath, Cierien, and Sophie's whereabouts seems like the logical next step, however, there's nothing I would rather do less. I know Aren longs to reunite with his sister, especially after what feels like an eternity, yet the idea of facing it all overwhelms me. My mind struggles to grapple with the weight of the trauma I've endured, yearning for respite. Peace feels like an elusive luxury I can't afford, but perhaps, just for a moment, I could allow myself the solace I desperately crave.

 Today, as promised, I must honor my word to Aren and begin the search for Idalia since she hasn't returned. I've managed to find her once before; surely, I can do it again. Yet, every fiber of my being longs to avoid this task altogether. The burden of responsibility presses heavily upon me, a weight I cannot shake. I've always known that this day would arrive, the day when I must confront my dear friend, Sophie, and explain myself. While Wrath and Cierien weren't originally part of my plans upon leaving, with Sophie, I knew this moment would inevitably come.

 I'm a bad friend, and I'm uncertain if there's anything I can do to gain her forgiveness. Just the thought of that upcoming conversation makes my chest tighten. I'm desperate to make amends, but I can't shake this feeling that our relationship might never be the same. It's all on me, and I can't help but think about how it could have been avoided. But it's too late now.

 That's something I'll just have to live with forever.

 At the very least, I owe her an apology. She deserves to hear my explanation, even though I know there's no excuse for what I've done. Whether or not she chooses to accept my words, she deserves the honesty and sincerity of my apology.

 Finally, I manage to roll to my side, facing Aren. My hand finds its way down his arm until it reaches his, our fingers intertwining effortlessly. Sleeping beside him brings back memories of my first night with Cierien— the night he unlocked his cell and joined me upstairs. We fell asleep holding hands then. He was a stranger, and I felt a twinge of fear, but there was an inexplicable warmth in his presence. He was so gentle.

 I miss that about him.

 I wonder what he misses about me. Does he even?

 With a gentle touch, I place Aren's hand down on the mattress, extricating myself from beneath the covers and slipping out of bed. He remains still, his eyelids fluttering in slumber. Quietly, I make my way out of the room, retrieving Aren's clothes from the dryer where I had thrown them in earlier. Folding them neatly, I prepare to turn and set them beside him for when he wakes. But before I can even take a step, I feel myself being pushed against the machine.