Every single time I've taken a shower within the last 3 weeks I've thought about how much I wish I wasn't taking a shower in the time I was.
What I mean is, i wish I was older with people I actually want to be with.
I want to open the bath door and it be my home with Rae. I want to open the door and it is liyahs future house that I'm staying at. I want to open the door at like the place I am.
But now it's just a hallway with yellow stained floors.
I hate it.
I hate that we're here. I hate that I'm still here in this house. Stuck.
I don't hate my home I just hate the people I live with.
I imagine how much easier it would be to be able to at least live by myself. Be able to shower at whatever time I feel like it, just to be proud that I even took the shower and not care about what time it was.
I wish there wasn't so many gross dishes, I wish I didn't have to put them away every day. I wish I was better at cleaning. I wish I liked it again. I wish I didn't care so much about the place I'm staying. I wish I didn't care so much about the people I live with. I wish there habits didn't bother me. I wish they were able to accommodate my needs the first time I say them.
Sometimes I look at the pros and cons of living by myself and living with my family.
Find that living with my family and living by myself are both pretty equal in cons.
I just wish, and I mean really wish I could just take a shower at 9pm and nobody would care.
