Two Villains

Ch. 44- Mature Conversations

"I don't remember."

His velvety, deep voice sounded so depressing that it made me tear up. I stood up and walked to him.

"Do you hate me?" I asked him, while I tried to look into his eyes, and my own eyes wanted to burst out in tears. Rhys shook his head violently.

"Then why don't you tell me anything that's hurting you?" I begged him. His jaw clenched, and he looked at my tear-filled eyes.

"I can handle myself, Kay. You don't have to worry about me." His voice changed to firm and rigid. And this attitude of his angered a part of me, but I knew that my bottomless anger wouldn't solve anything.

"How did Naseer's dad die saving you, Rhys?" I asked him. He closed his eyes once again.

"Who told you all this?" he asked me once again, his voice laced with anger this time.

"It doesn't matter who told me what. What matters is," I cupped his face with my palms, "that I am trying as hard as you to give us a second chance, and I want to know you. I want to know what hurts you, what doesn't. I am trying my best to know you, Sameer. I don't care who you are, how much wealth you have or not. I am just trying to know the man who loves me." I started to cry, and I knew little Kay in me was confused by my behavior.

He opened his eyes to look at my face, then he held my hands to remove them from his face,

"You know that I love you, right?" he asked me, and I nodded.

"Then, the only thing you should know—your being safe, happy, and healthy makes me happy," he added. It made me shake my head in despair,

"Rhys, for the love of God, open up to me," I begged him. He removed his hands from me and walked away.

"Rhys!" I yelled at him. He stopped in his path and turned to me.

"Kay, if I tell you anything about me, you will think I am the weakest, worthless, most fragile piece of shit that has ever existed. And I am not ready to talk the talk. Please. Forgive me." 

"You think I'll judge you?" I was taken aback by his explanation.

"Yes. You will," his voice was firm, and I halted my tears at his accusation. Rhys continued,

"Have you never judged anyone in your life? Haven't you judged me for being an idiot to you?"

I nodded silently.

"You're aware of your anger issues, right? Understand that it's hard for anyone to open up to someone who struggles with anger."

Again, I nodded.

"Then, give me time. Please. Opening up takes time. Kay, you're a doctor; you understand human psychology better than I do. And I have been an idiot to you. I am correcting my behavior, for us. I am trying my best to behave like a man, and I need time to decide how to open up to you. Please."

I stopped pushing him at this point. My stale plates were lying aimlessly on the table.

"I am so sorry for behaving like an asshole, but a lot is going on. And it's definitely not the time for me to talk about something that I am not ready or very proud of," Rhys's voice was filled with genuine guilt and apologies. And I nodded at his plea, ensuring him that I wouldn't push him beyond his limits. I had my own secrets to share with him, and I was even unsure how I would open up to him.

Changing the subject seemed wise.

"What's happening?" I asked, and he sighed heavily.

"You really want to know?" he asked, a mix of relief and concern in his tone. I nodded eagerly.