You woke up with a pounding headache, your head throbbed as you slowly got up and checked your phone, the bright light blinded you as you desperately tried to turn the brightness down. When you finally did you saw it was 5:00 am, you sighed and felt the bed sinking on one end, you turned to see Felix laying there with his back turned to you, you just ignored it and tried to sleep again turning your back to his too but you were no longer tired and this headache was only making it harder to sleep.
You slowly got up walking towards the kitchen filling up a glass of water and taking out some painkillers, you threw two in your mouth and swallowed it with a huge gulp, sighing you placed the cup down. You made your way back to the room, not sure what you should do now, as you came in you could hear slight sniffs, curious you came closer to the bed and saw Felix turning in his sleep, was he crying?
It confused you because he never cried even before, he was always restricting on his emotions he was only ever happy around you, you did see him cry sometimes but that was because he had a soft spot for you, of course you didn't mind, in fact you would wait for hours for him to calm down, being by his side until he felt better, you hated the fact that he thought he didn't need to cry just for being a man, you couldn't change his mind of course, but you still let him know that you were always there for him.
He reluctantly got up avoiding eye contact trying to head for the bathroom, but you stopped him. You grabbed his large arms that you could barely wrap around, holding tightly that your nails dug in his skin, but he was unfazed, looking at the ground probably trying to hide his tears. You were shaking, you were terrified, you didn't know what you were trying to do. You just wrapped your arms around his small waist that you loved, feeling his chest pressing against yours, your heartbeat quickened and you could hear his too, he slowly wrapped his arms around your waist and buried his head in your neck. Suddenly you felt warm tears sliding down your neck, his raspy voice sounded broken as he tried to muffle his sobs. You only moved your hand up and down his back soothingly trying to ease him. He hugged tighter, his fluffy dark hair tickling your neck, but you didn't mind.
He slowly backed away and finally looked at you, you placed your hand on his cheeks and wiped the tears away. He grabbed your hand and kissed it softly then he opened his mouth to speak.
"y-y/n" his voice cracking as he spoke "I'm...I'm really sorry,I jumped to conclusions, a-and i couldn't bare to think of you with a-another guy, and so o-out of spite, I left to the party in hopes of getting drunk and forgetting all about it...but wh-when you called and explained everything, I felt horrible.."
You understood how he felt, but deep down you were still angry that he even thought you would cheat, but you didn't mention it, instead you rubbed his hands with your thumb in circles.
"its okay" you whispered "next time, lets try to communicate more, hm?"
He looked around like he was thinking about something and then reluctantly nodded. You both sat down on the bed next to each other when you finally turned to him, should you bring up why the past few months were like this? it is a bit early but you had waited too long for this, months too long.
You exhaled loudly fiddling with your fingers, avoiding eye contact.
"Felix."
He turned to you humming in response.
"Tell me, tell me why have you been so...so distant lately, what changed between us. I need to know so... so i know if i should" you slowly looked up at him as he stared at you with a worried expression "if i should leave you or not."
His eyes widened and stared at you for a while probably shocked, his expression hurt you but you firmly tried not to react. His tired eyes stared at you as his eyes slowly returned to normal size, he sighed saying.
"Theres no reason..."
"Oh really, so you just fell out of love?" you said slightly louder, you were angry how he could lie to your face.
"Y/n, please, i do still like you" like. like? not love?
"BULLSHIT IF YOU REALLY DID WHY ARE YOU LYING RIGHT INFRONT OF MY FACE?!"
He flinched at your sudden outburst trying to shush you to which you slapped his hand away in return, why should you be quite? you had every right to be angry.
"I loved you Felix, i still do but it feels like that this love is one-sided."
"Y/n you wouldn't understand. Its all too complicated , please think about my position right now."
"Then help me understand, i wont know anything if you don't tell me, the main factor of a relationship is communication which we are clearly lacking."
"I-I cant"
"why"
"You'd hate me..."
what could be so bad that you would hate him?
"I already do, with that attitude."
There was a deafening silence between the two of you, the only sounds were the morning birds chirping away without a care in the world. He looked at you almost as if you had shattered him, you looked back at him coldly with tears threatening to fall out. He got up wiping the tears off his own face.
"F-fine if that's how you feel i guess ill tell you considering you already hate me"
you smirked to your self, liking that you finally got your way.
He sighed loudly almost hesitating and began "I.. I've been dealing, dealing drugs."
This is not what you expected, You had no idea where he even got the drugs from , he never took them himself and always hated it, the fact he would sell them broke your heart. Your grabbed his shirt pulling on it aggressively with the tears finally spilling out.
"WHAT WHY!? WHY! WHO GOT YOU INTO THIS?!"
He stared at you sadly replying with "It was for the money y/n i did it myself."
"THE MONEY?, THATS NOT A VALID RESPONSE! WE BOTH WORK WHY WOULD WE NEED MORE MONEY HUH?" you started frantically punching his chest which didn't harm him at all. He just grabbed your arms tightly and bent down to your level with a cold look that sent waves of discomfort across your body.
"FOR US Y/N, I WANT US TO LIVE IN COMFORT, AWAY FROM THIS SHITTY PLACE, I WANT TO GIVE YOU THE BEST PLACE IMAGINEABLE!"
your face softened still shocked, you slowly dropped your hands to the your sides. choking on your tears you tried to speak.
"T-thats nice...but... your ruining others lives by selling these drugs and i dont like it. Felix im flattered but your gonna have to stop this otherwise..."
"Other wise what" he finally let go of your arms. You rubbed your arms where he held them, feeling bruises forming.
"Otherwise we're done."
YOU ARE READING
The String of wrath (fem!reader x own character)
Teen Fiction"your bodies insane..." This was never meant to work out, it was all a lie, it was all inside your head, it was all just lust. But you loved him.
