Lamb To The Slaughter

009

My college students started packing their things and filing out of the classroom as my lesson ended.

I stood by my desk, sliding my computer into my bag. I had papers I needed to grade, but I could do that in my office. As I slung my bag over my shoulder, my jacket slipped off the desk.

Bending down to grab it, the cigarette that I stored in my pocket fell out. I stayed there, crouched over the cigarette for a couple of moments.

Feeling the same dilemma that I did a couple of days ago, I picked it up.

"Just throw it away, Seonghwa." I muttered and moved to toss it into the bin by my desk.

"You know... smoking is bad for your lungs." A voice spoke, making me flinch.

"I'm sorry, but my class just ended. I'll have one later if you -" I turned around to address the man who walked in, but all words were ripped out of my throat.

He was wearing a smile, one I've never seen from him before, and it gave me chills. At first, I thought that I was hallucinating him or seeing him wrong. He looked so different as he took his time, walking down those steps.

"Hi, Seonghwa. It's been a while."

I was stunned into silence, having nothing I could possibly say at this time. My brain felt like it had been melted. Any thoughts were long since gone.

But I did have something buried in my racing heart.

Fear.

But also... as much as I didn't want to admit it... I fucking missed him.

It took a minute of unbearable silence as he finally reached me. He looked so much older, his bone structure and his stance, everything about him now screamed how much older he had gotten.

He was still the same beauty, but he looked aged. He looked masculine and handsome.

His fingers brushed against mine gently, but I still flinched from the contact.

He hushed me quietly, his voice soothing as he did so. His fingers took the cigarette from my fingers, holding the tip to my lips. "Open, Seonghwa."

I hesitantly listened, and he placed it between my lips, saying a quiet "Good boy" as he held the lighter up to it as he lit it for me.

"Did you miss me? Because I desperately missed you."

He was so close that it made it feel hard to breathe. It took a second to even take a drag of the cigarette. When I did, he carefully took it from my lips and took a drag himself.

"What are you doing here?" I managed to croak out. I couldn't think about how embarrassing this felt, to react so pathetically towards him.

He didn't seem to mind much as his eyes searched my face, taking his time with the cigarette before he held it up to my lips again.

"To see you." He said it so simply, like that was something that was normal. "So?"

We switched so he could take a drag. "So what?"

His eyes met mine as he blew the smoke out into my face. I reeled back, being grabbed by the belt and held against his hip.

"Did you miss me, baby?"

"No. How did you find me?" I said.

Hongjoong had always had a calming effect on me, to the point where I preferred his company in the morning so I could survive the day.

But it was different now. Now, there were alarm bells ringing in my head. So instead of feeling calm... I was being drowned by him.

All of my senses were screaming at Kim Hongjoong.

His head lilted to the side. "You really thought I wouldn't? Did you underestimate me that much?"

I couldn't process what he was getting at. How do you even react in a situation like this? I knew Hongjoong. Even if it had been years, I knew this person in front of me.

But my brain was screaming at me.

He must've meant that he was stalking me...or maybe...maybe just searching for me...

I couldn't ignore the alarm bells. It would be foolish to. None of this was normal, and none of it was alright.

"You look anxious." He stated, his eyes staying on my lips for a couple of beats.

"Because I'm in another country, Hongjoong. What? Are you trying to say this is a coincidence?"

His eyebrows knotted together as his eyes flickered to meet mine. "No...of course not. I put in way too much work in finding you to call it a coincidence."

I didn't know what to say. I felt so fucking stupid in this moment. But really, I felt terrified.

I had never been a very healthy person emotionally, especially when it came to relationships. It was the reason why I chose to be single. And no amount of therapy did much to help me.

I didn't really want it to be helped, though.

None of my previous relationships lasted or did me any good. And I couldn't even say it was all of my partner's fault.

Because I had way too many issues to claim that.

So now, standing here in front of a man who had admitted that he had hunted me down, I was terrified....but fuck, if that didn't excite me just the slightest bit.

"What do you want from me?" I asked, my voice shaking as I spoke the words. All of my courage was long gone, maybe never existing in the first place.

I felt weak, like I was shaking like a leaf. No spine, no will, nothing to offer.

It was the most pathetic I'd ever been.

"That's the thing, my love. It's you that I want. It's always been you." He answered, his presence like the calm in the storm. But he was the one who caused the chaos, I couldn't forget that.

His answers were so clear and firm. He said them so sure of himself as well. There was no doubt in his tone. How do I bargain with him to begin with?

He knew what he wanted, and apparently, what he wanted was in his possession.

He had me trapped.