As Cold As Metall

Chapter 15

"Don't be sad", Tae says, stroking my hair. You wonder why I'm sad? Well, pets aren't allowed. "And he said that really every pet is forbidden?", I ask while looking at my boyfriend. He looks back with a sad smile before saying: "Yes, every pet is forbidden. I'm sorry." I sigh, breaking the eye contact, staring out the window. We are currently in the restaurant again, waiting for the food. Tae asked the landlord before we left the apartment. He's told me on our way here that we can't get a pet and I am devastated. I really wanted a dog, but well, you can't go against the rules. So, no pet for us. Maybe it's better anyway, since we would both be always at work the whole day, so the dog would be on his own the whole time. I sigh again, thinking about it. Tae takes my hand, ripping me out of my thoughts, making me look at him. He gives me a reassuring smile and says: "When we get our own place someday, we will get all the pets you want." His words make me smile lightly. He's just perfect, knowing exactly what to say to make me less sad. "That would be nice", I answer, wanting to give him a kiss, but right at that moment the food arrives. So, the kiss has to wait until we leave, what a shame. We eat in silence and after paying and leaving I give him a small kiss outside the restaurant. "What was that for", Tae asks, slightly chuckling. "It's a thank you." "For what?" A slight blush creeps onto my cheeks as I answer: "Thank you for being with me. For always knowing what to say to make me happy." A loving look on his face intensifies my blush and I look away slightly ashamed. "You're so cute, when you are like that", Tae comments, taking my hand and leading me to the park. "Don't say that! I feel so ashamed", I say, trying to hide my face with my free hand, making him laugh slightly. "But you are my girlfriend. I need to be so cheesy and say those things, you know?" The teasing is audible in his voice and I slap his arm in frustration, making us both laugh. While taking a walk through the park we talk about everything and nothing, laughing every so often. Sometimes it still feels surreal to have Tae by my side. For as long as I remember I have been alone. Nobody wanted me because I was a humanoid robot. Not even my creator it seems. There are still so many questions unanswered, about why I exist, why I turned human now, why Tae wanted to befriend me so badly. I want answers, but there is no one that could answer them. Even the doctor knew about the phenomenon but couldn't tell me much about it. Maybe I could try and talk to him once more. He could know more than he said last time. But the more I think about it the more does the idea seem stupid. The only answers I could get right now are related to Tae because I could just ask him, but I'm not quite sure how. Maybe I shouldn't ask him either, but if I do some things could become clearer for me. What should I do? Maybe I should stop thinking about the past and enjoy the moments I have now. I should think of the future, of all the things I want to do. So, why am I always thinking of the past? I have a wonderful time now, I shouldn't waste it with all these thoughts, can they please shut up? I groan lightly, getting Tae's attention straight away. "You ok?", he asks concerned, but I just nod. I don't want to put all that weight on him. I have to take that by myself. I turn my gaze towards him, seeing him raising an eyebrow and I know that he doesn't fully believe me. "Seriously?", he asks, sounding a little annoyed because I don't tell him the truth. How does he know me so well? I don't know how long we've known each other, but he seems to know a lot of things about me, that I don't even know myself. Don't think about that! I stay silent, staring at him while fighting with myself. A light tap to my forehead brings me back to reality. I shake my head to clear my head before saying: "I'm thinking too much, that's all. Don't worry." I try a smile, but it feels more like a grimace and he raises his eyebrow once more. "I do worry about you. You should stop thinking so much. What is on your mind anyway? Or am I not allowed to know?" He crosses his arms, eyebrow still raised, pouting a little. He looks so cute when he pouts. Maybe I should tell him everything. Ok, here it comes. "I just think about the past and about all the things I don't know about. You know, like why I've become a human all of a sudden. But I have no one I can ask all these questions and get answers. That's a bit frustrating for me. I know I shouldn't think about it anymore. I should enjoy the present time, but I just want answers." While ending my monolog I avoid his gaze. Somehow, I feel embarrassed and unsure what he will think about me now. I gaze at the pond to our left when Tae wraps his arms around me. "I can only imagine how you must feel about all these unknown things, but I promise I'll be here for you. I will support you in anything that you want to do. I wish I could help you get the answers that you want, but I'm afraid that I can't. I suggest that you ask the doctor once more. He probably knows more about these things. Remember, he told you about all the other humanoid robots turning human." I nod unsure if I should ask him the questions involving him. I bite my lip contemplating whether it's a good idea or not. Would be better when we're back home, probably. "Let's go home, ok?", he asks after letting go off me, looking at me smiling. I nod also smiling and take his hand to walk home. A little later we reach our apartment, taking off our shoes and jackets before going into the living room. "Do you want to watch a movie, or?", Tae suggests, walking straight to the cupboard where all the movies we have are. I shake my head, but he doesn't see it obviously, so I say: "No, let's talk a little longer. I want to ask you some things." He turns his gaze to me with concern, coming back to me and we both sit down on the couch. "What is it?", he asks after I stayed silent for a couple minutes. "In the park I told you about the questions I have in terms of myself." He nods, and I continue: "I have questions concerning you too." My gaze wanders towards his face, seeing him raise his eyebrow once more. "What do you want to know?", he asks, urging me to continue, his gaze still on me. A short pause follows where I wonder what I should ask first. "Why did you want to be friends with me so badly?" The sudden question throws him off guard and he chokes lightly on his own saliva. While coughing he asks: "What do you mean?" I wait once more, giving him time to compose himself. "It's just, that I wonder why you wanted to be friends with me implicitly. You could have chosen every other person. So, why me? What was your reason to choose me?" I watch him thinking about my question, wondering what his answer will be.

Taehyung POV

Her question has thrown me off guard. That's what she's thinking about so often? Why I wanted to be her friend. What should I tell her? Maybe the whole truth? She wouldn't believe me, probably. I don't understand why it's nagging her that much. Her live got better after meeting me, hasn't it? So why ask such question, risking our friendship, no wait, our relationship? What if she doesn't like the answer, wanting to leave me immediately because she thinks I'm insane or just stupid? But would she think that? Ok, I have two options in my mind, that I can tell her. Option one: the whole truth. Telling her that she is in a coma, dreaming everything. About me using a machine to connect with her dream, trying to wake her up. Confessing, that it isn't working at all, but that we have one more chance to wake her up. Option two: obviously a lie. Telling her that she reminded me of my friend that lays in a coma right now, in the hospital of this city. Saying that I miss her so much that I searched for someone who resembles her, so that I can replace her with the new person. I don't like both of these options at all. If I tell her the first one, she will believe I'm crazy. But if I tell her the second, she will feel guilty, because she replaced my friend. Like she was just yesterday. And when I tell her the second option it will contradict everything what I told her yesterday. After all I told her that I feel bad for nearly forgetting my friend. It makes no sense, telling her the second story. Maybe I should just tell her the first story or simply say that she caught my eye when I first saw her? That could be it! It feels like an eternity that I thought about it. I'm astonished that Mina didn't push me to answer immediately, she is such a good person. "You remember that I told you, that I just moved here, right?" A slight nod from her before I resume: "Naturally, you don't have friends at all when you come to a new place. I was just taking a stroll back then when the restaurant caught my attention. I was hungry anyway so walked inside. You caught my eye immediately, because you were different. I could tell that you have no friends as well, so my natural instinct was to befriend you. And look where we are now." I end the story, being proud of the story I came up with. Why was I worried about those two options anyway? The story feels so natural and I'm sure she will believe it. Our eyes lock, while she thinks about what I told her, nodding in the process. "Yeah. That sounds just like you, Tae", she agrees, smiling at me. I'm relieved that she believes me, but the questioning is not over yet: "Good, next question is, why you wanted to move in with me so suddenly?" "I hate being alone. And since no pets are allowed it felt normal for me to ask the first friend I made to move in with me. I know I was a little pushy about it back then and I hope you forgive me." "Well, obviously I forgive you, silly." Her chuckling sounds so sweet in my ears. I wish it was the real Mina I'm talking to. Her dream self is a little different from the real one. "Any more questions?", I ask, hoping that there is none and just my luck, she shakes her head. "For now, I think I'm satisfied. I have questions about your friend as well, but I think it's better to talk about her another time." I simply nod, pulling her into a hug. "Next time you can ask me right away when you want to know something. I hate when you stay all silent thinking the whole time", I complain, kissing her forehead, making her smile and nod. "I promise." "Good, then let's go to bed now. I'm tired", I suggest, earning a nod from her again. After saying good night and going to my room I disconnect from the Dreamer. I sigh as I sit myself up. How much longer do I have to do this? "Jin?", I ask into the room, searching it with my eyes, but he's not here. I stand up and walk towards Mina's bed. Her body lays there lifeless like always. I take her hand in mine, stroking it lightly. I wonder if she still "dreams" about us in the other world. If so, why doesn't she mention it anymore? Because of my reaction last time? Is she connecting the dots? Does she know already that it's her real body we're talking about? "Please, wake up", I whisper, putting my hand on her cheek lightly. Why can't you wake up? As I stroke her cheek, I hear Jin entering the room. "How much longer do I have to train, Jin?" "You're almost there, I think. Just wait a little longer." But how much is a little longer going to be?