As Cold As Metall

Chapter 10

I wake up, still feeling tired. Weird. I never felt tired after waking up. I rub both my eyes and sit up. Damn, what is wrong today? I stand up and dress myself before I exit my room. Tae is already awake and making breakfast. I wonder if everything will be like always. I come into the kitchen and say: "Morning Tae." "Morning", he answers not looking up because of the cooking. I set the table and sit down on my chair while waiting for Tae to finish. When he's ready he comes to the table and puts the food on it before sitting down. "Wow, it smells soo nice", I compliment his cooking which makes him smile. "You always say that", he chuckles while serving the food on our plates. While we eat only the sound of our chewing fills the room. I don't know what to say at all. I still am unsure if I should tell him how I feel. The feeling that a strange atmosphere is lingering above us, doesn't leave my thoughts. I wonder why and how it ended up like this... Since when am I so unsure and scared to tell Tae everything? I never was and he always reassures me that I can tell him really everything. But what turned me into this scaredy cat? The hunger I had is suddenly gone even though I haven't eaten anything at all. I put my cutlery on the plate and watch Tae eat in silence. Out of nowhere he looks at me and raises an eyebrow. "Are you not eating more? You haven't eaten anything at all", he says astonished and stops eating as well. I look him in the eyes, seeing the worry in them. "I'm already full. Don't worry", I answer him and smile lightly. He looks at me for a few more seconds before he continues eating. In the meantime, I look at the clock, listening to the ticking and Tae's chewing. My thoughts drift away again. Why am I like this? Why is all of this happening? I wish to be that emotionless robot girl again. Everything was simpler when I was not like now. All the emotions changed me and it feels so strange. Too many things happened after I met Tae. I wonder if anything of it would have happened if I hadn't met him. I want to slap myself for that last thought. Meeting Tae was the best thing that has ever happened to me. I'm really thankful for knowing him. He is such a kind and lovely person. And most importantly he doesn't hate me for what I am. He even supports me in this new situation and is always helping me and cheering me up. I wonder what I would have done if everything had happened to me out of nowhere without a person supporting and helping me. I'm sure I would have killed myself. I always wanted emotions and all but to have it all so suddenly is such an overtax for me. It would have been all too much for me when I would have been on my own but I have Tae who is always explaining everything to me. I get ripped out of my thoughts when Tae taps my hand lightly, making me look at him. "It's time to go. Work is in about 40 minutes", he informs me and I nod. Since we are both dressed already, we put on our jackets and shoes and leave the apartment. It's weird that we don't talk to each other at all. I wonder what's on his mind. Is he going to abandon me for all the trouble he's been through because of me? I wouldn't be angry at all. I would probably do the same when I'm tired of all the trouble. I look to the ground, feeling slightly sad now because of the thought that Tae probably wants to leave me. That doesn't make sense at all, idiot. He asked me to never leave him the other day, so why would he leave me all of a sudden? Damn, I think about it all too much. Is it because of my new human traits? "Damn it", I whisper, wanting to punch my head against a wall to get my head free of the many thoughts. "What's wrong?", Tae suddenly asks. Did he hear my cursing? Seems like it... What should I tell him? Well I don't want to tell him now maybe when we get home later. "I hit my toe and it hurt." I look at him, seeing that he is about to laugh. I feel my cheeks warming up out of embarrassment and look away. "That's so cute, you know? You learn new things about your body and your emotions every day. And some of your reactions are too cute", he coos at me, making the red colour on my cheeks even worse. I punch his arm lightly and say: "Shut up. You're talking nonsense." I stuck out my tongue and laugh lightly at his pouting face, resulting in him laughing too. We soon reach our workplace and immediately change our outfits to start working. It's a normal day but a bit boring because there aren't as many guests as normal. I clean up the table from a couple when suddenly the knife falls down. I catch it with my perfect reflex and hold it in my hand. Catching it hurt a bit but I don't know why. I put the knife on the plate once more and look at my hand. My eyes widen in shock. There is a long cut on my palm but the liquid pouring out is not oil how I expected. It has a red colour and the man at the table immediately calls someone from my team, telling them that I bleed. It can't be blood. I'm a robot. I'm a humanoid one but I'm sure I should not have blood inside me. Well I didn't know for sure at all since I never cut myself. The thing is, I couldn't even cut myself because my skin was metal. You can't cut metal, so why could I cut it now? I feel my heart pounding strong and bold against my chest and finally Tae interrupts my thoughts by taking me by my other hand and leading me away. We enter the changing room and he grabs my hurt hand immediately to have a look on what has happened. "I thought you have no blood?", he asks confused before cleaning the wound and putting a bandage on it. I don't say anything, not wanting to interrupt his actions. After finishing his work on my hand, he looks at me, expecting an answer. I shrug my shoulders and say: "I didn't know for sure. I was never able to cut myself. My skin was metal before everything happened. I was shocked myself." I look away not sure what will happen now, when the blonde suddenly hugs me. I hug him back hesitantly, not knowing what has gotten into him. I decide not to ask so I can stay like this a bit longer. It's been so long that we had such friendly contact. I can't even remember if we hugged each other even once. I hope we will do it more often from now on because it feels so nice. I feel protected and safe. I never felt like this before. Sadly he breaks the hug too soon and says: "I think you should go home. I don't think you can work like this." "But-" "No but. Please do what I say and take care on your way. Promise?" All I can do is nod what makes him smile. I wonder what has gotten into him so suddenly. Before I hurt myself we weren't even talking at all and now he's like the Tae I knew from the very beginning. I change my clothes right after the boy left and exit the room right after. Tae sees me and comes to me one last time, saying: "I told our boss about the accident. He said it's fine that you go now and gives you days off for the rest of the week so your palm can heal easily." "Thank you. Take care, Tae. See you later", I say and smile, resisting the desire to hug him once more. "You too. See you later", he responds and goes away to take the order from a table nearby. I on the other hand exit the restaurant and wave to Hyuna who looks at me. I soon reach home and let myself fall on the couch and turn on the television. I never really watched it before. Let's see how it will go. After some shows I watched, Tae finally opens the door and comes inside with a nice smell of food. I go up to him, startling him a bit because I wait behind him until he turns around. "Don't scare me like that!", he laughs, making me laugh as well. "You brought food?", I ask and he nods lifting it up from the ground. "Pizza!", I yell cheerfully, making him laugh again and nod. We eat the pizza in the living room while watching a movie. I'm glad it abstracts me from telling Tae everything I want to but simultaneously don't want to. I really don't know if I should tell him. Damn it, Mina! Watch the movie and don't think about anything. Said and done, I concentrate on the movie but right after it finished the thoughts come back. "Tae?" "Yeah?" He looks at me, making my heart pound wildly in my chest all of a sudden. I feel like losing myself while looking into his eyes. I should look away but I can't. "Mina?", the blonde asks and raises an eyebrow. I really got lost into them... "Sorry. I got lost in your eyes", I blurt out and immediately slap my mouth. Tae's eyes widen and a red colour manifests on his cheeks. He looks so cute when he blushes. What am I even thinking?! "I just wanted to say that I'm going to bed now. Good night", I ramble on and stand up when Tae holds onto my wrist. "That was not the thing you wanted to tell me, right?" He knows me all too well even though we don't know each other a week. I sigh and say: "I'll tell you tomorrow after work. I'm really tired. Good night." "All right. Sleep well", he says while letting go off my hand. I hurry into my room and hold my hand at my heart. It beats so fast. I always wondered what this thing inside me even looks like. It can't be a real heart at all. The curiousness got the best of me, so I take off my upper clothes, expecting to find the lid in the middle of my chest, where the heart is, but it's gone. I panic a little, feeling unsure what that means. I remember fully well that there was a lid but now... What does it all mean? What is going on with me and my body? Should I look out for a doctor? I ponder about it while walking circles in the middle of my room. I come to the conclusion that I should try it out since I have time tomorrow after all. I lie down in my bed, feeling scared a lot. But somehow, I manage to fall asleep.

"Jin, the unbelievable happened!" "And that is?" "She turns more and more into a human. She has emotions and can bleed. She said her skin was to thick before." "That sounds perfect. There can't be much more to do to make her wake up. Keep it going so good but for now you eat and rest." "Alright."