𝐎𝐮𝐫 𝐋𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐥𝐞 𝐒𝐞𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐭 [𝟏𝟖+]

031: break up

My last period was free so I decided to come to the library and study for a while. But to my utter distaste, the library was more occupied than I thought it would be. And this is to blame the fact that our finals are just around the corner. So students that usually don't even show up to the classes, can now be found hogging the library all day.

Though, most of them are chit-chatting in hushed voices rather than actually studying. And sadly, my usual seat was already taken by someone by the time I reached here. Which is why, I settled on leaving with the book I needed for studying.

I walk down the row, trailing my fingers over the spines of the books. I read through each of the titles in search of the particular one that I am looking for. Physically, I may be here, in the school's library. But my mind was drifting back to Theo and his words.

I ended up narrating to him everything that transpired on Sarah's birthday party. And the whole time, Theo patiently listened to me without any judgement, rubbing a comforting hand up and down my spine as I spoke. And after hearing everything, the one thing that he said to me was, "You don't hurt the person you like."

And it made me wonder if Noah even liked me to begin with. I mean, sure, he acted very friendly right from the start. Always trying to crack a playful joke here and there. But then he got mad at me just because I didn't kiss him at a party once. And later on, he admitted it himself how much exhausting it was for him to be smiling around me so much.

I never asked Noah to be someone he was not. So why put up a façade? Or maybe he isn't used to being turned down. Being the football team's captain, he is used to all the attention he gets. Especially from the girls. So a simple rejection must have bruised his ego.

Theo, on the other hand, has always respected my boundaries. He didn't push further when I stopped him from kissing me that first night. And on the night when I had my first kiss with him, he stopped the very moment I told him I was a virgin. Our clothes were discarded and all hesitation was long forgotten. And if he wanted, he would have tried to convince me to continue further that night.

But he didn't. He held himself back and even said he doesn't want to rush things with me. He went so far as to comfort me when I thought I had ruined the moment.

My face heats up all of a sudden at the memory from that night. The sight of Theo hovering on top of me, shirtless, while he peppered kisses all over my exposed skin. I recall the way his sensual touches made me shiver in pleasure. I bite down on my lower lip and mentally curse myself as more memories from that night comes flooding into my mind.

'Stop thinking about that here.' I shake my head to get rid of my dirty thoughts–for now. I think that was the last time we got so intimate. Theo doesn't take things too far other than kissing or making out. And that is starting to frustrate me a little bit. I already trust him with everything. He doesn't have to be so... reserved with his actions all the time.

A devious idea forms in my mind and I suppress a grin. I think I know just what it would take for Theo to drop his barriers. 'I can't wait for tonight.'

A hand tapping on my shoulder startles me, and I swiftly turn around to come face-to-face with Alex.

"Hey," Alex says, shoving his hands into his pockets.

"Oh, hi." I find myself shifting uncomfortably under his gaze, afraid that he can see right through me and read my inappropriate thoughts. I clear my throat awkwardly and ask, "What, uh, what are you doing here?"

"What, do I not look like the type to come to a library?" Alex teases with a smile.

"That's not what I meant." I huff, feigning annoyance. Over the past few weeks, I had overcome my wariness for Alex. However short our interaction is, it has always been decent and friendly everytime. "Did Sarah send you here?"