𝐎𝐮𝐫 𝐋𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐥𝐞 𝐒𝐞𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐭 [𝟏𝟖+]

021: safe place

Theo patiently waits for me to continue, and a nervous feeling suddenly settles in my stomach. What if he sees me differently? What if it turns him off? I try to push away my negative thoughts and swallow down the nagging fear. Unable to hold his expectant gaze anymore, I shut my eyes and chew on the inside of my bottom lip.

After some time, somehow, I manage to muster enough courage to blurt out, "I have never done this before."

I peel open my eyes then to assess Theo's reaction. Maybe it is because of the words leaving very quickly out of my mouth, or maybe because I mumbled them, but it takes Theo a while to register my words. As understanding dawns on his face, I feel myself getting anxious all over again. A look of surprise crosses his beautiful features.

"Oh," Theo says and starts to lift himself off of me. "It's alright. I, uh, I shouldn't have pushed you beyond your limit," Theo says, nodding to himself. He avoids looking into my eyes as if he believes he did something wrong.

"What? No, you didn't." I immediately grab a hold of his arm to stop him. "No, Theo. I didn't mean to—" I cut myself off with a defeated sigh as another wave of guilt washes over me. Theo would now blame himself, thinking he crossed a line, even though I wanted this moment just as much as he did.

"I completely ruined the mood, didn't I?" I ask him quietly.

Theo looks almost offended upon hearing my words. He shakes his head and says, "Of course not, Princess." He smiles at me warmly and grazes my cheek with his knuckles in a reassuring manner. "Don't ever say that again."

I lean up on my elbow on the bed and pull Theo towards me by the back of his neck and kiss his lips gently. He immediately reciprocates and pushes himself further onto my body and kisses me harder.

"Then don't stop," I whisper against his lips between kisses.

"We've got time," he rasps out.

We are both breathing heavily at this point, lips brushing against each other's. Theo groans against my lips when I raise my hips to meet his. He pulls back slightly and swears under his breath.

"Don't tempt me, Princess," he says, dropping one final kiss onto my forehead and gets up from the bed.

Frowning to myself, I sit up on the bed. I didn't want this to end. It felt too good to stop. The way Theo was touching me, sent pleasant electrical shockwaves throughout my body. It was something I had never experienced before, and now that I've got a taste, I don't think I can stop myself from craving more.

I still remember the night Theo had left a hickey on my neck. It was the same night I was this close to having my first kiss with him. And even back then, his touches ignited something within me. Something I couldn't exactly pin point. Each feather light kiss on my skin slowly drove me closer to completely losing myself.

That night, I thought that neck kisses from Theo were my favourite thing. Although, to be honest, I had completely come to terms with the fact that we will never get close again. And definitely not intimate. But tonight, I realised that anything he does is my favourite. Every little teasing glance, his stupid smirk, his gentle touches and passionate kisses. All of it.

'Why did I have to ruin it?'

I look at Theo confused when he picks up his t-shirt from the floor and hands it to me. 'Does he want me to leave? God, I totally messed up, didn't I?' Not voicing out my thoughts, I silently put on his t-shirt and take off my dress that was pooled around my waist.

In the mean time, Theo had changed from his jeans to grey sweatpants. I am still sitting on his bed, unsure of what to do next, when he joins me back on the bed. Theo turns off the already dim lights and gestures for me to lay down. I comply immediately and he spoons me from behind, pulling the cover over us. My heart skips a beat and butterflies fill my stomach.

Theo presses his face into the crook of my neck and pulls me closer to his chest. His hand that is across my waist and on my stomach, draws lazy circles from over his t-shirt that I'm wearing. No words get spoken as a comfortable silence settles between us.

It almost feels like a dream to be so close to him. To be held by him in a protective embrace. The room is mostly dark save for the moonlight entering into the room from the slightly open windows.

"Hey, Theo?" I ask, my voice barely above a whisper, because I don't want to disturb the calmness surrounding us.

He hums against my skin in response that sends a tingle down my spine. I try not to shiver at the sensation.

"Uhm, why did you..." I trail off, unsure of what exactly I want to ask him.

"Because I don't want to rush things with you," he replies. He goes silent for sometime and then continues, "Hell, I didn't even think I'd get to hold you again after the shit I pulled at the club. I was totally expecting a slap after you got back home."

I giggle at that.

"Is it too late for that?" I ask him playfully.

"Why don't you find out?" Theo replies. I can hear the grin in his voice and it makes me smile.

I turn around in his hold so I could face him. I look up at him and Theo smiles down at me before pecking my lips softly. My face feels hot all of a sudden and I'm really glad for the darkness about the room because Theo won't be able to see the blush creeping up on my neck and face. Even the simplest of his gestures make my heart race.

'Am I starting to catch feelings for him?'

The thought is both exciting and terrifying at the same time. No one has ever made me feel this way before. I thought I might like Noah before, but even he doesn't compare. Noah doesn't make me feel nervous and excited at the same time. He doesn't make me blush just at the thought of him. And he definitely isn't on my mind for every waking moment.

"I'm glad you warned me before I took things too far."

Theo's voice pulls me out of my thoughts. He drags his fingers lightly up and down the length of my arm and I snuggle into him closer. I don't ask him anymore questions, feeling content for now.

Theo's scent feels intoxicating and it seems to be the only thing my senses tend to pick on. I wrap my arms around him in a hug and bury my face into his bare chest. He holds me close and I find myself smiling like an idiot against his skin.

If I could, I would want to spend the rest of my life like this: holding Theo close and not worrying about anything else. This still doesn't feel real to me, but if it is a dream, I don't think I want to wake up.

The soft rhythm of Theo's heartbeat feels oddly calming. As Theo cards his fingers through my hair, I find myself drifting off to sleep in the safe place that is Theo's arms. The last thing I remember before falling asleep is Theo kissing the top of my head.

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A/N: drop a vote or I won't post the next chapter. I mean it :D