He's The Arrogant Self Absorbed Bastard

Chapter 1

Warnings - strong language
__________________________________

Arrogant, stupid little asshole that's what he was, he got on my nerves and was far from my friend or even acquaintance at best. He was bad and I was everything good and completely opposite to what he was at least that's what everyone told me. Yet he somehow managed to convince me or trick me and manipulate me into believing things I never thought before. And doing things I'd never see myself doing until I was married or well never really because I wasn't sure of myself not like other girls. I hated his guts yet I didn't hate him all at the same time, I didn't want to feel this way and I doubt he did either. But every time we saw each other in the same room it was like something I couldn't ever explain to anyone let alone myself. I hated him but I didn't, it was far from hate I knew that and so did he. Which is how he managed to get inside my head and twist my heart around just to rip it out again.

I wasn't normally or the type to go around and do anything other than my studies or quidditch. I had to make things look as perfect as I possibly could outside of my home. If I didn't people would see through and know the truth of what occurred when I wasn't away at school or out in public. The things I always dreaded lay within the walls of the hawthorn manor, where it was gloomy everyday and every night no matter what time it was. No matter what day of the week, what time of the day, nothing mattered within the walls of the manor. I wasn't allowed to do anything to step out of line and that's why I filled my day with work and my schooling. Being who I am and having to put up a front wasn't easy not at first that was. Building the walls and pulling on a smile, faking a laugh or making jokes that weren't meaningful at all.

Doing things out of character for me wasn't something I thought of doing, never thought about doing actually. Yet the inevitable happened and he ruined me, completely and ultimately ruined me to no end without a single thought in his or my mind. He didn't care and he probably wouldn't ever care not really, not like one is supposed to but neither have I. He was possessive and thought he could claim me as his but it would never happen. I wanted to be the best I could and prove my worth to the world and those around me but it never went right. Well not towards the end of things, yes the beginning was tricky but not as tricky as when it came to my fifth year at Hogwarts. Things began to change, I began to change and things never were right from the start.

Yet I wanted them to be, I put up a front so tall so that I could be seen as who I wanted to be seen as. The good and innocent, intelligent and harmless girl that I wanted to believe I was. It wasn't until he recked it all that that very high and tall wall I built came crashing down in an instant. And for that I both hated and admired him, mostly hated because it broke me more than anything. He broke me and he would never know the true damage he had done to me. Because in the end it was not him and I, it wasn't ever going to be and he'd have to watch as someone else fixed me. I would have to watch as he disappeared into the shadows and never came out. While my friends would be forced to fix and mend what he broke and what they warned me about.

I should never have gone along with the plan, never should have done what I did never made that deal. Maybe if I didn't go down that corridor late on Wednesday night then I wouldn't have been or had the chance to be broken. One can use magic to change the past but that will change the future it's called the butterfly effect. You can only change small things because the bigger things you change the harder or more the future with change or be changed. The things that would change could be catastrophic and no one in our world or the muggle world wanted that. He might have been my butterfly effect, maybe if I went down a different road that night, a different path back to where I was needed in that time. Maybe just maybe he would never have found me that night nor would he have approached me and caused the damage he causes.

For Merlin sake if I tried to use a time turner to go back things wouldn't be well, it would change the future and if I were seen. If I tried to force myself the past version of myself to move down another path that night. Yet then things would go wrong in the future and no one can deal with that or whatever the outcome might be. Having lived a life within this world for so long being born into it making me a pureblood both parents born with magic in their blood. I was a hawthorn of course I had things that others didn't and of course I was able to do things others couldn't. Truth be told there was a legend once about the hawthorn family line. Being full of pureblood witches and wizards wasn't the only thing they possessed. Legend has it that centuries ago a curse was placed upon the family.

Or a gift as one might see it, but the spell was cast and there was no going back from it. Legend tells us in the history books of our generations that each person born into the family line was given a different ability. More females than the males were often given abilities such as wandless magic or dark powers. Deep into the dark power what I mean by this is that they have a smoke like ability and when overcome with powerful emotions things could get chaotic. Things could go very wrong and people well people would die if ever struck by the power of this kind of darkness. There were other abilities such as reading minds or seeing things others couldn't. Having visions or being telepathic and more too many to list for the time being.

And too many things go wrong when a lot of things are piled into one, me for example. My name is Trinity Everest Hawthorne and I am a witch with more than one ability given by the females in the Hawthorne bloodline. Generations passed and this has only occurred once in the history of our family, and it wasn't a gift it was a curse. Being able to teleport form a young age, have the darker magic or chaotic magic as some called it. Having the ability to travel through time and read minds was more abilities I was given under my curse. And if I used to much of this power I could lose control and hurt the people around me and those I loved or cared for would never understand.