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song: people help the people - birdy❀ ·˚ ༘ ∘

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song: people help the people - birdy
❀ ·˚ ༘ ∘

I HATED HIM. I say that yet I know I that my feelings will change soon. I know I can never hate someone forever.

I couldn't get out of bed all day yesterday and I knew I should pack my bags up and leave but I couldn't. I lie in his shirt all day, reveling in the smell of him that might be the last time.

But I forced myself out of bed and changed clothes, throwing his solid color shirt onto the bathroom floor. I had no more tears left to cry.

My eyes were no doubt probably puffy, the rims of my eyes red and my cheeks all red too.

"Esme, it's time to go." I said in a quiet tone, unable to speak up even more. "What? I thought—" she tried negotiating but I convinced her to go even though she was sad.

I had this piercing pain in my heart every time i moved, my heart strings ripped and my heart ached. Things didn't feel real at this point and I tried so hard not to show any emotion but I couldn't, so I just cried. I cried and cried until I couldn't anymore.

How could he.

I thought I had changed him, for the better. But I guess I thought wrong and he seems to think that too obviously.

"Come on, Athena. This is absurd." Jack tried speaking to me but I couldn't even look at him in the eyes. This is so embarrassing. He probably sees me as pathetic because I'm crying. This is just yet another reason why I don't show emotion in front of anyone, including my friends.

"It's not, and I'm sorry but you can't convince me." I was standing over the threshold of the front door, just a few bags packed. Esme was already waiting in the car, sad and mad all at once and probably giving me the silent treatment.

"Visit all the time you can. You have my address." I managed to look Jack and Spade in the eye and give a solemn smile. "We will, everyday." Spade said and smile back at me, his smile convincing me he was really okay but his eyes said otherwise.

"Thank you." I whispered and pulled them both into a tight hug, never wanting to leave. "For everything you did, I'll never forget it." I pulled back reluctantly and smiled at the two of them appreciatively.

"We should be thanking you, Athena." Jack said. Silence, somber silence. "I should get going." I said, breaking it, not baring to stay here any longer or I might just burst into tears which seemed highly impossible but I could already feel the tears forming.

"Drive safe." They said in unison and I just nodded, closing the door shut. I didn't bother saying goodbye to Grayson, or anything at all. I didn't want to see his face because I knew everything we shared, everything he said, would just come rushing back.

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