i love you, its ruining my life

699 32 8
                                    

sorry i know y'all wanted part 4 of the other one which i can't even remember the name of rn but i'm at a real block with that so enjoy this whatever this is 😍

Taylor's POV

Y/N and I have been together for 5 years. Everything was amazing. I love her with everything in me. She is the best thing that's ever happened to me.

But she's also the worst...

Her love is like a drug, you take the first hit, inhale it, it makes you hazy. Everything is a blur but you know one things for sure you want to feel that way again. It takes a while but soon you're addicted and you can't get enough, but then you need it to live. Without it you can't continue normally with life it breaks you, it changes you, it consumes you. You try to quit but all you want is more. The addition is the hardest to break but it must be done for your own happiness.

That's what it's like loving her.

She wanted to love me in secret, that's what I grew to love about her. She never made a big deal over who I am or what I do. She just loved me for me. And I adored that... until I grew to envy it.

She didn't care about who I was nor did she care about what I did. Two things so important to me. 

I am Taylor Swift and to her I am just Taylor. Taylor who wrote an entire 2 albums solely dedicated to her. Taylor who built a world around her emotions and experiences. Taylor who found solace in the melodies that echoed her love story

She never really appreciated my art, sure she would always show up, but never did she care for my successes.

Still I loved her wholeheartedly.

And she loved me.

Just not in the way I wanted.

I always resent myself for becoming so addicted to her love that now I'm stuck in a never ending loop.

I love her, but it's ruining my life.

。・:*:・゚★,。・:*:・゚☆

Today I walked through the door after a long day at the studio, Id been working on my album, Midnights. This was the first album she hadn't helped me write since we had been together. It was quite ironic for us to write folklore and evermore together as these were some of the most raw and emotional songs I've ever written and I think some have a deep connection to our relationship, especially the ones we wrote together, they're the unspoken words we never shared.

Y/N was already up in our shared bedroom in her pyjamas ready for bed. There was leftover food she had prepared for dinner in the oven keeping warm. So that's what I did first, I walked to the kitchen to eat the food she had prepared for me. I sat at the kitchen counter and ate it alone while scrolling through my phone, I wasn't sure if Y/N knew I was home but if she did she had yet to acknowledge that.

After I ate as much as I could of the food I threw the remainder in the bin, and washed the few dishes in the sink. Once the kitchen was almost spotless I reluctantly made my way upstairs to our bedroom.

The room was dimly lit, casting a soft glow on Y/N, who was lying on the bed with a book in hand. She glanced up as I entered, a faint smile playing on her lips.

"Hey Baby," she greeted while closing her book to show me her attention. That was how easy it was for her to captivate me and forget just how miserable she made me feel.

"Hi," I replied making my way to her and placing a soft quick kiss on her lips.

"How was your day?" she asked taking my wrist suggesting I sit with her.

LOVE YOU TO THE MOON AND SATURN ❦❧ TAYLOR SWIFTWhere stories live. Discover now