My Forever Sunflower 🌻

Chapter 36

Our son.... I can't stop smiling everytime I reminds that I'm carrying our pup....

Please come na P'pai.... Sky misses you....

" Khun phoenix! You're not wearing your gloves na khaab. You'll hurt yourself like this...."  A bodyguard says who's guarding the gym area only to be unheard by Prapai who continued to punch with bare hands

I thought I found something that I never had in my life. I wanted to keep you close never wanted to let you go. I don't want to give us any name. Want to keep it special. The only thing I wanted was to see a smile on your face when you think about me. I was so happy to have you in my life that I never thought of you leaving me....

I promise I won't be mad at you. Just come to me and if I get angry give me sunflowers and say the same cheesy line you always says to me...I will forgive you as always... Please phi... come to Sky na....

You're so special in my life. You're one of the secrets of my life. You're the hope to my life. You're one of the wishes of my life or you're the only wish I ever prayed for. I don't know what you are in my life but there's only you in there only you ...

I feel so close to you even you aren't. I will wait for you  even if it's for hundred life times. I gave my all to you. My heart, my soul, my body I gave everything to you. I don't think you know but I am crazy for you P'pai.... from the moment I saw you, I've always been crazy for you....

If I knew, the last time I saw you would be the last time I ever saw you, I would tell you that for the shortest while I understood what it meant to feel freedom. To listen to my heart and to fall in love freely, wildly, recklessly, in a way I will never love again... I would tell you but....I think you already know.... that I am madly and crazily in love with you!

I don't know what's wrong with me. I can't make people love me.....
You loved me, right? But why do I feel like you never loved me. How can I be so wrong?? I'm feeling so suffocated that it is getting difficult to breathe.

Even though you changed I still want to see you. You're not a habit, you're like worship to me P'pai. It's not like I want you or I need you. It's just you're my first and last love. If you want to come back, come with full of passion. Like a dreamy reality and tell me your name again, meet me again and please love me this time. Because I still want to meet you for the first time and love you all over again....

It's my six month already when are you going to come?? Don't you miss your Sky??
I'm sorry if I annoy you or you think I'm too clingy or obsessed. Yes I'm a little obsessed phi because you're the first person who made me feel something in my life that I never felt. I found so much peace and comfort in you. You're the last bit of hope I'm holding onto.

There are days when I think you cared about me. When your words are kind and your touch is gentle. But then you left me wondering is that all a lie?

I have no words for the depth of my loneliness. I'm lost without a way to express this emptiness. The pain is almost unbearable.

" Khun phoenix you need to stop na khaab...."

I don't know if we ever able to meet again. I will never forget to say thank you because you've given me one of the loveliest friendship, P'pai....

I miss you.... I can feel it...
Today pa played a songs for me, I was smiling all the time remembering your smile when I heard the songs. It sucks to sleep alone, I miss your arms and voice.
My heart aches a little when I breathe knowing you're not here anymore. I miss you.....