One day I'll have it all. // Williamson

Nando's

"I didn't grow up in the UK, okay? We don't have Nando's in LA." I defended, feeling the need to justify myself.

Leah, still grinning, added her playful commentary. "She's a Nando's virgin."

"Not only a Nando's one," Katie said, and my eyes widened at her words, creating a momentary silence at the table. Leah burst into laughter, her playful demeanor now bordering on mischievous.

"Don't laugh!" I exclaimed, slapping Leah's arm, before looking at Katie again, hiding half of my face behind the menu in my hands. "How the hell do you know that?" I said, and she smirked even harder, biting the end of her straw and winking at me.

"I didn't. You just sold yourself, Villanueva."

Leah laughed even harder at Katie's words, soon enough joined by both Viv and Beth.

"Y'all are so mean. I should've signed for Paris."

I said, and it only made them laugh harder.

Soon enough, a server approached our table, asking us if we had made our choice. I just ordered the same thing Katie did, with water on the side.

Katie, Beth, and Leah all ordered a cocktail, while Viv stuck to soda. Guess I was driving Leah home tonight. And maybe Katie, too.

We spent the rest of dinner talking animatedly. Mostly about yesterday's game, and football in general. But also about other subjects, which allowed me to get to know the girls better. Especially Viv, who was the girl I had talked to the least out of the four.

She was the opposite of her girlfriend on a lot of points, but I did enjoy her sarcasm and her self-deprecative humor.

The food did taste very good, and I had to fight Katie for stealing it off my plate the entire time.

Leah's gentle touch on my thigh remained a comforting presence throughout dinner, and no matter how I should've gotten used to it by the end of dinner, I just didn't. I couldn't stop thinking about it.

It wasn't playful, wasn't teasing. Simply reassuring and grounding. She was just reminding me that she was there, that she cared.

I did reach out and grabbed her hand in mine a couple of times, and enjoyed oh so much the reddish color her cheeks took when I did.

We only said good night and all walked back to our car at around 11 p.m. Katie had assured us she was fit to drive, and we trusted her, as she had only drunk a cocktail, then drowned it in water and food.

I did take the wheel and drove Leah home, though. She had drunk a little more than Katie, and though she wasn't drunk, I absolutely refused to let her drive.

"Tonight was fun," Leah said, while toying with the buttons on her radio.

"Yeah, it was," I nodded, looking at her for a second before focusing on the road again.

Leah's fingers traced absent patterns on the dashboard, her gaze thoughtful. "I'm glad we went out tonight," she said, her voice carrying a soft warmth.

"Me too," I replied, stealing a glance at her. The genuine smile on her face mirrored my own sentiments.

"I like how we act together." She said, and I frowned slightly.

"What do you mean?"

Leah's eyes held a thoughtful gleam as she explained, "You know, the banter, the teasing, the way we just fit together. It feels natural, like we've been doing this forever. It's comfortable. Like an old couple," she said, and the word couple made my eyes widen.

Suddenly, my heart began beating a bit faster. I shifted in my seat, trying to process the sudden surge of emotions. I tried to categorize my feelings. To get ahold of them. I felt anxious. I felt scared. I felt overwhelmed.

My grip on the steering wheel tightened, fingers tracing patterns on its surface as I navigated the quiet streets. Leah's gaze remained fixed on me, her eyes searching for a response, a reaction. The vulnerability in her expression mirrored the turmoil within me. I didn't say anything. For the rest of the ride.

The quiet tension lingered in the car as the streets passed by in silence. As I pulled up to Leah's house, the atmosphere in the car felt charged. The engine hummed softly, a backdrop to the unspoken conversation. Leah turned to me, her eyes holding a mix of anticipation and uncertainty.

"I should go," she said, breaking the silence, her voice a delicate whisper.

"Yeah," I replied, my own voice revealing the internal conflict. I didn't want her to leave. Not at all.

Leah faced me, her eyes searching mine for answers. "Valentina, I—" she began, but the words hung in the air. I turned my attention completely to her, my eyes finding Leah's blue orbs.

"Leah, I... I need time," I admitted, the honesty raw in my voice. She nodded, looking down at her hands.

"I know," she said, her words carrying a bittersweet acceptance. "No pressure." She then added, offering me the fakest smile I had ever seen. "I'll see you at training," She finally said, breaking the stillness. The formality in her words contrasted with the unspoken connection we shared. As she walked away, the distance between us felt both physical and emotional.

I stood there, watching her disappear into her house. I hated myself, for a moment. Hated who my mother had made me become. Hated how scared I was. How long I knew it would take me to be proud of who I was. To be as unapologetic as Leah wanted me to be. Hated how I was blaming everything on my mom, and not owning anything.

The drive back home felt longer than it actually was, the car enveloped in a heavy silence.

A few streets away from my house, I made a huge U-turn, earning some honks from other drivers, as well as a clear middle finger from a woman in a blue Nissan, certainly punctuated by very flourished and very British insults. 

The city lights blurred as I navigated the streets, my mind consumed by a whirlwind of conflicting emotions.