One day I'll have it all. // Williamson

Silence

I hated silence. I hated hearing my own thoughts and hated not having music in my ears. Something about hearing my own breathing made me terribly uncomfortable.

I turned in bed, looking over at Leah. The woman was facing away from me, her content breathing indicated that she was asleep. I watched the moon reflect on her shoulder, fascinated by the simple sight.

The soft moonlight bathed Leah's shoulder in a gentle, silvery glow. When she was facing me, I couldn't help but admire the peaceful expression on her face as she slept. Leah had a way of finding tranquility in the quiet moments, something that I sometimes struggled with. Something I always struggled with.

But when I was with Leah, I almost loved silence. When it was light, silence let Leah's laugh, giggles, and bad jokes take place. And when it was dark, I could hear Leah's lips opening and closing, Leah's breath coming out of her mouth.

Something about that was extremely erotic.

I didn't really understand much about my own feelings. Some stuff seemed to trigger me, I had noticed. Though it wasn't what I would've expected. Leah wearing a ripped tee shirt and unmatched shorts was sexier to me than Leah wearing a dress. But not always.

Afternoons when it was hot, Leah in shorts would make me go crazy. On mornings though, if my girlfriend dared to wear a shirt and tailored pants, I could safely say we would both be late for practice. And don't even get me started on Leah wearing football clothes. At any time of day, Leah wearing a suit was enough to make me salivate.

When Leah's hair was messy, the simple idea of tangling my hands inside would turn me crazy. When she tied it, the view of her neck turned me on immediately. When it was wet, the way it stuck to the older woman's forehead and cheeks was indescribably sexy.

And as much as she sounded like a goddess and an angel right now, I was still in deep shit.

Leah stirred beside me, her movements slow and languid as she shifted in her sleep, her hand reaching out to find mine in the darkness. I intertwined my fingers with hers, bringing her hand to my lips and kissing its back gently.

To say I was inexperienced in birthdays was an understatement. The closest thing I had to a birthday party in my life was probably a family dinner with a cake hastily picked up from the grocery store. But Leah deserved so much more than that. She deserved to feel cherished and celebrated, especially after everything she had done for me.

I had no idea how to give her what she deserved. I would plan something special, something that would show her just how much she meant to me.

But first, I needed to figure out exactly what that something was. I racked my brain, trying to come up with ideas that would make Leah smile, that would make her feel loved and appreciated.

I started making a list of all the things I knew she loved in my head.

1. Me. She loved me.

2. Football. Nothing was more important to my girlfriend than football. Whether it was watching it, playing it, or talking about it.

3. Her friends. And I had to remember; not only our friends, but also her close friends who had been there for her through thick and thin. Leah valued her friendships deeply, and I knew that celebrating her birthday with those she cared about would mean the world to her. I had no idea if she had planned anything with the English squad yet.

4. Her family. As much as she loved her family, I couldn't just give them a call and tell them to come to London. It was too late for that. Probably too late for other friends than our squad, too.

Fuck. I was so fucked.

Leah deserved the world, and here I was, scrambling to come up with something meaningful at the last minute.