N-701124 {b. barnes}

XVIII

"You can start wherever you want. I'll be here."

Belle let out a deep sigh, and started to talk.

She told him about what happened immediately after the first battle five years ago, and how Autumn broke down alongside her. She talked about their attempt to find the stones after, but left out the part about Steve. From there, she went on to talk about Autumn and her schooling and her friends, and then about Alpine. She told him about their little apartment, their routine, and about Elizabeth. 

She mentioned Charlotte, and how annoying she was, yet how grateful she was for her. She told him about how they came to find the stones, and then about Natasha. She talked more about Autumn and her friends, and Alpine. Eventually, she opened up about herself, how she felt, what she did, and she said everything she didn't want to.

Bucky was quiet through it all, taking it all in. She watched his facial expressions, how he reacted to each piece of information she divulged.

After what seemed like hours, Belle fell quiet. She brought her knees to her chest and stared out across the lake. The sun was starting to peek over the horizon, and a light fog started to fill the air.

Bucky didn't say anything for the first little while. He stayed quiet, as if he was thinking. Soaking everything in. Soaking in this new life he'd been thrown into.

Belle let out a sigh and rubbed her head. She rested her chin on her knees and closed her eyes.

"Belle?"

"Yeah?"

"For what it's worth, I'm glad you're still here. It couldn't have been easy, but I don't know what I'd do if I came back and you were gone."

Belle glanced over at him, then looked down at the ground. She murmured, "I don't know how I did it."

"Me either. But it's done. We're safe. It's over."

A partial smile crept up to her lips. "Don't jinx us."

"Yes ma'am."

The two sat together in a comfortable silence. Belle watched the sun climb higher in the sky as it shone through the rising fog. Dew sparkled on the grass, slowly disappearing as the sun climbed higher and higher.

"Do you feel like we almost shouldn't be here later?" Bucky asked softly. "For the, uh..."

"Funeral?" She finished for him. "Yeah. But I know he doesn't hate us."

"How do you know?"

"When we went back to find the stones, I went with him, Steve, Bruce, and Scott. Pierce was there, so were a few others. It gave me an anxiety attack, and he talked me through it." Belle sighed. "I felt like I was going crazy. Like I was going to die."

"But you didn't."

She nodded. "He talked me through it. There was only so much he could do, but it helped. I think if he hated me, he wouldn't have done that. If he doesn't hate me, then he couldn't have hated you. At least, not anymore."

Bucky nodded slowly. "Do you get them often?"

Belle shrugged. "Not anymore, I guess. The first few months were awful. I almost sent Autumn to a friend's and checked myself into the hospital."

"Why didn't you?"

"The anxiety wouldn't let me. It's stupid, really. I was anxious about what was going to happen to me and then to Autumn, enough to the point where I was too anxious to talk about it. It went away after a while, though. Honestly, it fucking sucked. I hated every moment of those few months."