Karma's Happenstance (Guns n Roses - Izzy Stradlin/OC/Nikki Sixx - Mötley Crüe)

Respects

Izzy POV

I'm in full withdrawal. Sweating and shaking constantly, sick and shit. I'm a total wreck. But I don't fucking care because I don't even really feel anything. All this shit is somehow this is obsessing my mind so fully that I can't even notice my body retaliating against me.The only thing I can think about is that my girl is going to be married to that old motherfucker.

But that's not the worst part. Imagining that old perv grunting on top of her, shoving his old wrinkled dick inside her, fills me with rage. A rage I didn't know I even had in me. Seriously, if he just laid one finger on her I'm gonna cut his throat. Or his dick, I haven't decided yet. Whatever, I'm gonna put him six feet under that fucking desert dirt. I am seriously having homicidal thoughts.

I clench my fists and keep staring out of the window. There's nothing much to see. We're in a fucking plane for god's sake, but I can't look at Nikki right now. He's drunk. He's on smack. He has the shit laying out right in front of him and I just can't look at it. I can't risk my mind shifting to old junkie habits. There is something far more important for me to do. I have to save my girl. It's time for me to finally play this part she see's me as, the hero.

I don't know how Nikki ended up back at his house. He says he doesn't remember talking to me on the phone. But somehow, he came through. I'm really grateful he decided to help me. Somewhere in his fucked up and twisted mind he has a soft spot for my girl. I knew it. So even the devil isn't immune to that kind of innocence, right?

He keeps offering me a fix and strangely I keep refusing to take it. I can't get high until I found my girl. I don't even think I'll ever deserve to get high again. This is all my fucking fault. If I hadn't been out to score, they never would have taken her. She deserves better than me. But for some unknown reason, she wants me anyway. Knowing this, I wonder if I'll ever be able to become someone who deserves a girl like her.

Nikki lays out some lines of coke in front of me. Shit. Seriously, dude? I wonder if this is all he thinks about and try to sit down on my shaking hands to keep them from grabbing the straw he's offering. I don't want to get high, I just want to get my fucking girl. She. Is. All. That. Matters.
Remember that shit Isbell.

"Man you look like shit," Nikki huffs when I refuse his offer. "You're going to be useless when we get there if you don't feed the fucking habit. You know this, right?"

"I...I gotta keep a clear head." I shake my head.

He cocks an eyebrow, "You call this clear?"

I just turn and look back out the window at the clouds below me.

"You got a plan, Stradlin?" he asks me and I look at him.

Do I have a fucking plan? No, of course I have no fucking plan. I'm close to going nuts here. Is there really need for a plan? Well, probably. But come on, do my fucking plans ever work right?Who the fuck does Nikki think I am? Chuck Norris?

"Get in. Get my girl. Get out. Sounds like a plan." I shrug.

"Yeah, great plan Stradlin." Nikki chuckles.

"Oh, and in case you get shot, I won't save your fucking ass again. I've made up for a lifetime of fucking karma by now fucking with you and this fucking girl."

"Why don't you just admit you like her," I sigh and look back out the window.

"Why would I like her? She's your chick ain't she?" I can hear him snorting a line, but I dare not turn to look.

I think for a moment before I speak. "You had the chance to take her, but you didn't."

"She's not my fucking type," Nikki huffs.

"Like you have one," I say under my breath.

"You don't really like me much do you?" I hear his voice spike with curiosity.

I glance at him. "No...no not really."

"Why?" He almost whispers.

I sigh. "Because you don't give a flying fuck about anyone but you. You use people. You twist peoples minds. You toy with them just to make yourself feel...something. You come off as this smug, god's gift to women,  rock star who can do whatever the fuck he wants. You'll never be close to anyone except maybe Tommy, and that's just because he never fucking disagrees with you. You'll die alone and lonely, and you don't have to be a fortune teller to see that."

A small smile crosses his lips as he looks down. It's not a sneer or a smirk, in fact it looks somewhat humbled and sad. "That's why I didn't try to take your chick man. I know I'm not the one for her. For anyone."

I almost tell Nikki I'm sorry, but I bite it back. I just sit there and watch as his eyes seem to focus on his drink in front of him.

"I'm like an un-house broken dog...I might be able to learn...if someone could teach me. But see being a fucking stray is all I know. I don't know not to shit in the house or jump on the couch. There's never been anyone there to show me, you know?"

I think I do understand what he's saying, but I can't be certain.

"My dad split when I was three. My mom was a fucking wild child and didn't do the best job with me...then she split when I was six. My grandma tried to raise me, she did, but by then it was too late. I was already too bitter and pissed off. So...I know it sounds like a cop out, but I've had no raising. I raised myself. I mean fuck...I've been on my own since I was 13 in a fucking dog eat dog world where the only way to get ahead is to lie, cheat, and steal, and selling your fucking soul.

Etiquette...you know, what the fuck is that? Nice? Friendly?" he slowly shakes his head. "All I know is rock and roll. It's not sweet and pretty. It's fucking ugly and dirty...and it's all the fuck I know."

Ok...maybe I feel a little bad for him. My life hadn't been perfect either, but it hadn't been like his. I at least had parents and stayed at home until I graduated. I was never living on the streets before that. I can't imagine trying to at 13 either.

"What about you?" Nikki asks breaking my thoughts. "You know anything besides rock and roll?"

I just look at him. Did I?

"If the answer is no you may seriously want to consider turning this plane around. I mean...are you really any better than me?"

I nod, "In some ways Sixx...and she's one of them. I love her."

Nikki just nods ok with a sigh. "I respect that."

I raise an eyebrow at him. He respects that?

"Come on don't give me that look Stradlin, even a degenerate fuck like me has some slight sense of what's respectable."

"I guess," I nod.

"Though I must admit," he adds, "that night you burst through the door at the hotel...I wasn't

gonna be able to stop myself,"he shifts in his seat a bit. "I'm glad you stopped me. That would have been a really huge fuck up...Thanks."

"Yeah," I sigh. "And Nikki...Thanks for helping me and for everything you've done. If it wasn't for you I'd be dead two times over by now."

Nikki looks at me very seriously. "You know this makes you my bitch right?" I sit there looking at him for a moment not knowing what to make of his comment. Then his classic smirk crosses his lips. I smile and snort.