Karma's Happenstance (Guns n Roses - Izzy Stradlin/OC/Nikki Sixx - Mötley Crüe)

Too many answers

Izzy POV

I sit there with a huge boner and just stare at her like some sicko. I allow my fingers to continue tracing her skin as I wait for an answer. This shit makes me nervous. It's almost like I'm afraid of her to answer me, because I don't really want to hear that answer. I mean is it really any of my damn business anyway? God, what the fuck should I do if she's really a virgin? I mean, if she's not I'll probably just go for it and fuck her. But if she is, that brings sex to another level I guess.

I've never been with a virgin before. Or not that I knew about anyway. As a guy, this isn't a big deal. You're obsessed with losing your virginity as soon as possible. But girls tend to hold on to that until that very special guy comes along. They have this fucked up fantasy that Mr. Right would turn up and they would give themselves to him. But that's no who I am. I'm definitely not Mr. Right. Mr. Very Wrong would be much more suitable for me.

She swallows and I can see she's considering what to tell me. I guess she doesn't want to look like some clueless hillbilly but doesn't like to look like a whore either. Girls just think complicated ways like that. It's just bullshit but somehow it matters to them.

"Uhm... yes?" She says, nervously biting her lower lip. I'm close to panicking. "No?"

I blink. What is she trying to tell me here? My brows crinkle a bit as I roll those to words around in my head. I'm afraid to ask her to clarify, but I have to.

"Are you asking me or are you questioning your own virginity?" I ask her confused.

Something is not right here. She should know if she's still a virgin, right? Then reality just starts throwing right hooks at me. I'm suddenly afraid that she'd been abused in that crazy ass cult. I mean, those fuckers do things like that all the time. They were going to marry her off to some horny old dude for god's sake.

Her sigh rips me out of my thoughts. She sits back, avoiding my gaze.

"Technically I'm not." She whispers and I have no clue what to do with that information. "When I was at college, there was this party..."

"You went to college?" I ask stupidly. This girl keeps surprising me. "I mean... what happened?"

"I would like to know." She says, her eyes looking sad. "All I know is I had a good time. And the next day I woke up without panties, realizing that I'd lost my virginity."

This is sick shit that happens even to ordinary people? Don't get me wrong, I've seen a lot of crazy things happening when people get high as shit but roofing girls to get laid? Hell, that's sick and pathetic. So how should I respond to something like that? God, this is way over my head. I just thought she was a virgin, now she turns out to be abused, too? I can't fucking deal with something like that.

I still have a massive boner from having her close to me, I should be ashamed to even think about her in that way, right? My balls are deciding this torture is too much and rebelling against me.

They hurt all the way up into my guts. Yeah, definitely blue balls coming on. I know this could be avoided by fucking her, but now I can't. I can't tamper with this innocence. Well, I could, but I probably shouldn't.

"So, you've never been with a guy before?" I ask. Great question Isbell. "I mean... shit... you don't have any memory...so everything...you've never..." I can't help letting out a sigh. What am I going to do with these information? I'm just babbling and making no fucking sense.

She sadly shakes her head. But before I can think about this she looks like she's going to panic and throws herself at me, hugging me tight. A groan escapes my lips. Fuck the desert motel purgatory; THIS is what I'd call hell. Living with a bad ass boner for the rest of my life.