Everything To Lose ( FreenxBecky)

Chapter 9

"Nong, it was just a dream. She's right here, remember? She came home."

"She's here?" Freen asked, still in a haze of sleep and so disoriented.

"She's here. Just down the hallway."

"No. She left, phi."

"I know. But she came home yesterday, didn't she? She's here. Trust me."

Becky listened as Freen's breathing began to slow down.

"Should I make you some tea or something?" Nam asked.

Becky almost got up, wanting to do something to help, she could make that tea.

"No... no, I'll be fine... I'm sorry, again..." Freen said sadly.

"Don't apologize to me, nong, please. I'm here for you."

"Thanks ka, P'Nam."

"Come on na, lie down, try and get some sleep."

Becky heard the ruffle of the covers. She stood up and waited for Nam to come out. Once Nam was out and had closed the door behind her, they walked slowly towards Becky's bedroom.

"Is it the same nightmare all the time?"

Nam chuckled. "Not really, sometimes she sees Fin being taken away from her. Sometimes it's you yelling at her. Sometime it's news that you've moved on."

Becky nodded.

"This one time it was me leaving her. I hate to admit but I felt nice that she's afraid of losing me."

Becky stopped Nam in her tracks, stood before her and embraced her, real and tight. "What you've done, for Freen and I, I can't imagine anyone ever doing for us. You've been there for us at our worst and most importantly, you hold Freen through these bad dreams and I don't know maybe it's the late hour but I feel the need to say Thank you for that, for taking care of her, and Beckett and just... staying."

Nam felt herself relax in Becky's embrace, and to her surprise, a tear fell from her eye. "Always nong. You two mean the world to me. I'm just glad you're home."

Nam returned downstairs to her bed, the convertible couch was her most comfortable spot to sleep in, in this house. She never liked the guest room and always preferred the couch. She fell asleep soon once she was all tucked in, it was morning anyway and she would have to be up in a few hours.

Becky however had thoughts running laps around her brain. And she still couldn't sleep no matter how hard she tried. She got up, and once again made her way out of her room. She softly made her way to the kids' room.

It was 5 am now and they were so soundly asleep.

Becky took one look at Emily and knew she was having quite a peaceful sleep. Then she allowed herself a moment to stare at the angel face on the other bed at the other end of the room. And it was like she was drawn to him, her feet moved of their own accord until she was standing right next to his bed, looking at his face for the first time with so much attention.

It was there, so may features from the prototype photograph she had seen all those years ago. He was theirs.

Tears filled her eyes the longer she stared at him. She sat by him then, and slowly caressed his cheek, not wanting to wake him up, but needing to touch him, to feel some kind of connection with him.

Beckett. Beckett Fin. The life she was supposed to be there for.

She was angry with herself and angry with Freen, but the more she looked at him, the more she gazed at his sweet innocent face, she knew he didn't deserve to face the consequences of their mistakes. He deserved to be loved and that's all he should ever have to feel from Freen and now, from her too. No matter where she was, she was going to look after this life right here, treat him with as much love and care as she did Emily.