👵Gran Review👵 (Temporarily Closed)

#17 Henry Neville - The Geist Therapist

👵》Cover / Title
The title and cover is okay, it puts Henry and Polly in the spotlight and it makes me feel the story is about the two of them. Sure wish it has more of a ghost vibe though!

👵》Blurb/Story Description
The blurb is good, it does enough to hook me into reading the story. And it gives enough information on the characters but not enough on what the story is about, I think the blurb could be more specific. It should focus more on the plot which I believe is proving that Polly's father was murdered. Maybe something like...

"After finding out the circumstances of her father's death, how will Polly prove it? if it is even real?"

👵》World
I like how you set up the scenes, it really sets the mood for the burial of her father but I think you could describe the graveyard more for a visual backdrop the characters are in. I like how you paint the world too, the sun out raging with temper from behind the stubborn black cloud. It feels like even nature is alive here.

I think you know how to create visuals and I think more descriptions of the visual setting would be good instead of just the moving parts, casket being lowered into the ground but what else is around? The same with the clock tower. What is in the immediate surroundings of the clock tower? Right now in my head it's just a clock tower in the middle of nowhere.

👵》Plot & Conflict

But as it stands you did get straight to the plot, I think there should be more conflicts

👵》Characters
The characters are described well, the five senses are in play and their personality can be felt through the writing that even the extras are easily distinguished in the scenes. So I won't comment much here because it is done well enough for me.

👵》Enjoyment/Engagement
I think it is an interesting read despite the lack of visual backdrops (I love visual backdrops), I think you set the tone and mood of the scenes well, each chapter is well written but I do feel like there is a lack of tension that stops it from being really engaging.On a side note...

I think playing with the inner conflict of Polly as she grips with the death of her father would be good, you could even set their first meeting as her seeing a therapist(Henry), explaining what she saw and that she thinks she is going crazy but instead Henry reveals what he really is. And convince her that she is not crazy and to get justice for her father, contrary to the other therapists. And that's how they end up in that clock tower.

Just an idea of something you could add without really changing the story as it is.