Infinite Temptations

I'd like to discuss it.

Theo's POV:

"Theo... Are you okay with everyone being here today?"

I fiddled with the bottom of my shirt before I nodded. Tara was in my office, along with Mason, My Dads and all three of my siblings. I sat behind my desk trying to give myself a bit of a buffer. I hadn't spoken again in 2 days, not since I broke down in here with Mason. That scared my Dad because I had only ever been non-verbal when they had found us and brought us home.

"I'd like to read your note, if that's okay with you." She said.

My knee bounced up and down and I shrugged. It's not like it matters; she's probably the only one who hasn't read it.

"Okay.

Hey guys,

If you're reading this then it's because I finally went through with it. I just can't anymore. Every day seems harder than the last. I have so many triggers that I didn't even know were triggers and I keep thinking about what happened. I know we were only taken for a few days but so much happened and it's ingrained in my head.

Paisley, I am so sorry. I was supposed to be the next Alpha and I was supposed to protect you. I tried. I tried so hard to make sure you weren't taken too. I almost got you free but I was too small and weak. I only wish you had stayed hidden in your room. I don't ever blame you for what happened. Taking all the abuse and the punishments they gave was the only thing I could do to protect you. Some days I wish Dad hadn't saved me. I don't want to live with the knowledge that you still suffer when it comes to those days and thats because I couldn't do my job and protect you. I love you... I know it's not the same as saying it outloud but at least I can write it on paper.

Dads. I'm sorry. I'm really sorry. It's not your fault and you guys have done everything you could think of to help me. I wish it did. I'm just too messed up. I love you... again I know it's not the same and I'm sorry about that too.

Laelynn, I am sorry for leaving. I really am. I always wanted to be around to see you find your mate, and to maybe see you walk down the aisle just like you have always wanted with a big fancy wedding. I wanted to dance with you and to see you become the mom you've always dreamed of. I'm sorry I won't be. I love you. I know I havent told you enough but I really really do.

Apollo, I know you must hate me right now. I'm so sorry. I'm so so so sorry. I burdened you with letting you in too close and making you keep secrets when that's the hardest thing for you to have to do. When things got bad I should have pushed you away, instead I taught you to be like me and to bottle things up. Don't be like me. Please. You have finally gotten your mate and I couldn't be happier. Don't let this and don't ever let me, keep you from moving on and being happy. I love you, Pollo. I always have. Even when I was jealous that Dad was giving you more time than me. I am in awe of you because of how strong you are. So stay strong, Baby Bro.

Mason.... I don't even know what to say. Saying I'm sorry to you doesn't seem like it'd ever be good enough. Please know I never wanted to hurt you, ever. I just can't live through it anymore. I love you... I love you and I release you. Please find someone else and be happy. You can do so much better than me.

Love Always, Theo."

How does hearing this over make you feel?"

I had put my elbows on my desk and was resting my face in my hands. The heels of my palms pressed into my eyes as I tried to keep my tears at bay. I shrugged.

"Okay, I'm going to need you to find some words. Even just one or two." Tara said.

I shrugged again and cleared my throat. "Sad."