Something's Wrong With the Different Realms

Twenty-Six: Apologies Pt. 2

"Tea."

"Why?"

"It tastes less strong than coffee. You?"

"Coffee because it wakes me up. And for the record, I do think these are stupid as well but I've also run out of options."

We ran through a few more rounds of this or that. Sometimes, Jasper and I agreed. Other times, we had little arguments about which thing was superior. A few times we laughed. After each question, the tension resolved just a little bit. After the final question, Jasper closed the tab and turned to face me.

"I'm sorry," Jasper said all of a sudden, "I figured that you wanted to go to the café not because you wanted to talk about our book but because you wanted to talk about the argument that we had."

"Ha ha, you caught me!" I laughed awkwardly. "I'm sorry as well."

"So... um... you're not mad at me anymore?" he asked, his eyes brightening with hope.

"No, I'm still a bit frustrated, especially with the comment you made about us not being friends, but I've had my time to reflect and I know you didn't mean it."

"Really?" Jasper piped up.

"Yeah," I said. "I still demand an explanation. So, do you just want to get this over with? I'll give you a few minutes of uninterrupted silence and you can recite whatever apology speech you had planned out in your head. I mean, unless you want me to say my part first. But hey, both of us will eventually have to talk it out."

"It's okay," Jasper nodded, trying to be confident, "I can go first. Just make sure you listen and don't interrupt me. I promise that I won't talk too much. Oh, and I'll take questions in the end."

I straightened up and glanced at him attentively, "got it."

"First things first, after I told you that we weren't friends, I regretted it. I felt like a scumbag. Then, I had an existential crisis and realized that a lot of the things you said about me being privileged were right. I had a conversation with my sister Miley who basically confirmed my thoughts. That while I'm privileged and should try to use my privilege to help others, I shouldn't be obligated to do something that I'm not comfortable with.

"Then, I decided to come out to my parents. I realized that I should probably own every part of my identity with pride instead of being a coward. They were surprisingly supportive of me. My mom even got me this pin," at that, Jasper showed me the rainbow pin on his backpack, "and I went to one of the GSA meetings and it was kind of cool talking to some of the other LGBTQ+ people at school. And some of them reiterated the points you made about me being privileged. And I realized that even within marginalized communities, there was still privilege.

"So... I'm sorry for not recognizing my own privilege earlier. I'm sorry for being a bit of a coward. And while currently, I'm still not fully comfortable helping Alexa and Harry because I'm a coward who's afraid of endangering himself, I don't care if you want to help them. And I'm open to the idea of maybe helping them in the future if something changes.

"I'm sorry for telling you that you're not my friend just because I was angry with you. But the truth is, even though we've only known each other for a few months, you're one of my closest friends. You've helped me grow as a person and I don't want to lose you."

I took some time to let the words sink in before I spoke. "I guess it's my turn now," I laughed awkwardly as I picked at my nails in nervousness.

"I took my time processing things as well. And yeah... what you said was quite painful. I cried a few times too. During one of my crying sessions, my stepsister Ivy approached me and we talked things over. I told her about the argument and she basically confirmed what I thought about everything that happened upon reflection. Yes, I was right that you were privileged and sometimes needed help recognizing your own privilege and yes, you're a coward. But I was wrong trying to force you to do something that you weren't exactly comfortable with and for that I'm sorry.

"Then, we talked about Regina and the friendship stuff. The reason why those words you said hurt was that they reminded me of Regina's betrayal of how she slowly walked away from me after I told her that I was asexual. Of all the crude jokes that she made about asexual people. I started panicking and shut down because I thought that the same thing would happen. But you are not Regina, you are much better than her.

"Oh, and I also told Summer and Breena about the whole Regina situation as well because friends need to communicate with each other, you know? And it's about time I told them about Regina. That way, I'm able to let go and not let the past dictate my future friendships. That's why I called you over here and that's why I was glad that you decided to show up. So... I guess I'm sorry for being too pushy and letting my past with Regina dictate some aspects of our friendship."

"So... does this mean that we're god?" Jasper asked.

"For the most part," I agreed.

"Can I give you a hug?" Jasper asked.

"Yeah, sure," I answered.

We embraced each other quickly. "We still need to discuss the novel," I said after we broke the hug.

"Oh, right," Jasper said.

"We probably have to talk to Alexa and Harry about it as well," I said.

"Mmm... hmm..." Jasper hummed.

"For today, why don't we just work on editing each other's chapters and seeing if they fit with the plot?" I suggested.

"That sounds good, and we can talk to them at school tomorrow," Jasper mumbled. It should be easier to talk to them as well since they're now on better terms after whatever quarrel they had was resolved...."

"Yeah, sounds good," I bobbed my head up and down.

"How are you guys doing?" Ms. Valance approached our table, concern pasted on her face. "I hope you took my suggestion and tried one of the bonding activities that I sent you."

"I tried one of them," I said, "Jasper and I tried one of them, yeah."

"That's good, I mean, you didn't have to if you didn't want to but I just hoped that whatever disagreement that you guys had was resolved soon especially since you guys are still very behind on the book assignment. Tell you what, you guys can meet me at lunch sometime next week and I'll try to catch you up the best I can."

"Okay," said the four of us in unison.

"Cool, and if you have any questions or anything, feel free to wave me over, okay?" Ms. Valance said before leaving our group.

"What's a bonding activity?" Allaira asked.

"They're meant to get people to become closer with each other and trust each other more," I stated.

"Don't worry about it," Jasper said, waving a hand.

"Okay?" Allaira shot a glare at us before smiling.

"Oh, and congratulations on your silver medal for the 1,500 meter event!" I congratulated her before I forgot. "Second place is amazing!"

"Thanks!" Allaira beamed, it was one of the first times that I'd seen a real smile crack on her face.

"So... anyway..." said Jasper, getting into business mode, "we need to talk about the book."

"I agree," Allaira nodded.

"So how much did you guys get done?" I asked.

Allaira and Horizon glanced at each other before looking at their cheap laptops. "Not much," Horizon admitted.

"Okay," I clapped my hands together. "Jasper and I will edit what you have so far since we're further than you guys. We'll see if it fits with the story. Meanwhile, you guys can correct the grammar. Don't worry, it'll be easy, all you have to do is use the Google Docs spell check and Grammarly. Got it?"

Allaira and Horizon nodded, their game faces on.

"Before you begin, I have to ask you... are you free from 6-9 PM today?" Jasper asked.

"Yes... I think," Horizon replied.

"Good, because we're going to have a very long editing session," Jasper nodded.

"Yeah," I agreed, "let's get to work!"