Something's Wrong With the Different Realms

Six: Coming Out?

Jasper Jennings

Caleb was chatting with Isla. Why was he chatting with Isla? What did they have in common? I shrugged, I guess after Isla had joined us for lunch yesterday and the day before, they had become better acquainted. I saw them giving each other pointed looks and whispering towards each other yesterday. So... who knew?

Caleb wrapped up his conversation with Isla and approached me. I glanced up at the clock. Creative writing class was the last period so when Caleb was visiting me he had the chance to talk to Isla as well. We walked home together every day so he was probably just chatting with Isla to pass time while he waited for me.

Caleb glanced around. "Can we talk?" he asked.

I shrugged, "sure?"

Caleb nodded. "Let's wait for the hallway to empty out a bit more."

After a few minutes of silence, Caleb spoke up. "I think Isla noticed your crush the first day we all ate lunch together."

"Okay?" I raised an eyebrow.

"I just wanted to let you know. Of course, she won't tell anyone, she believes in not outing people. Actually, I was just speaking to her about that and I believe her when she says that she can keep a secret. But just a heads up, okay?" Caleb said thoughtfully.

"Okay, thank you," I smiled.

Caleb was a thoughtful friend. He kept my secrets and gave me good advice and allowed me to rant to him when I needed it. When there was something important that he needed to share with me, he told me immediately. He was always looking out for me.

"Anyway, how's school?" he asked as we left the building which was Majesty High School. "Is there anything you want to talk about?"

I glanced around to make sure that no one was listening. "I think I might need your advice. Maybe Isla's advice as well since she seems smart but I'll talk to her on a different day."

"Go on?" Caleb raised an eyebrow, looking inquisitive as we rounded the corner.

"I think I'm ready to tell the others," I spilled out.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, I think so," I smiled.

"Okay. When? And what type of support would you need?"

"I think I'll do it during the birthday sleepover. Though Caspian's parents are religious, they're pretty accepting and they make it known that they're pretty accepting. They even have a pride flag hanging somewhere in their house. So if they overhear, I know they won't think differently and I know they won't tell the other parents unless I give them the okay to. Besides, everyone in the friend group will be together."

"That's a pretty good idea. Is there anything I can do to help you?"

"Um... just support me by being present and stuff I guess? And try not to be mad if I chicken out, okay?"

"Yeah, okay. Sorry I was disappointed the last time you tried and you chickened out. I know it's a pretty big deal."

"Yeah, it is," I nodded.

We took a couple more steps. We passed by rows of houses covered in snow because of the mid-March weather in the Pacific Northwest. There were even a couple of trails that we passed that extended towards Majesty Mountain. They brought back happy memories, reminding me of the good times I would spend hiking up the trails to take in the view when I had nothing better to do.

After turning right and crossing a country road, Caleb spoke up again. "You don't have to answer this if you're not comfortable with it but, why now? Why not wait until spring break to come out? Was there something that made you comfortable with the idea?"

"Hmm..." I thought aloud. "Sure, I'll answer this, but let me think about it for a moment."

"Okay."

"I guess it's because I told Isla and that didn't kill me? That's one reason, I guess. Ha ha. Yeah. And... I did tell Ms. Valance as well, in a way, I guess. I just said 'we're basing characters off of ourselves' and showed her the character sheet. And um... Caspian's profile as well."

"Wait... I thought you knew that Caspian was bisexual."

"I didn't."

"But didn't he tell everyone sometime during lunch last year? I'm pretty sure you said 'okay, cool' when he asked about your opinion."

"Oh," I muttered, "I probably wasn't paying attention."

"That makes sense, I guess but I thought you would've figured it out by now."

"I can be pretty stupid sometimes," I shrugged. "Besides, Caspian doesn't really talk about his crushes often. Last I heard, he had a crush on a girl named Aria in seventh grade. Since then, he's sort of been private about who he likes."

Caleb pondered over this. "That's true, I've never heard him talking about anyone he likes when we talk or something. Kailan probably knows though. They're best friends after all."

"Yeah, so... any tips for not chickening out?" I asked.

"For your coming out, you mean?"

"Yeah."

"I don't know. Yoga maybe? My mom does it and she says that it makes her more confident. Other than that, the 4-7-8 breathing technique? It helps sometimes. Or watching some YouTube videos might be the best option. I haven't been through what you're going through and I'm not about to do what you're about to do so it'll probably be helpful if you uh, look at some videos online. And maybe you can ask God for guidance. I don't know."

"Thanks," I smiled. "Now... What about you? What's going on on your end? Anything new, bro?"

We spent the rest of the way home chatting. Caleb talked mostly about school stuff. What projects we had going on, what he thought of some of the teachers. The cafeteria food. The latest TV show he was watching and the latest news that was on the media.

Caleb's home was first on the way. I gave him a pat on the back and waved goodbye, then set upon going home. I thought about what had happened. Isla and Ms. Valance were pretty supportive even if they were practically strangers. Caleb always seemed to know what I needed and what advice to give me. I'd just learned that Caspian had been out as bisexual for a year now and having one queer friend in the friend group increased my confidence.

After waving a quick hi to my parents and Miley, I headed upstairs to my room and opened my laptop. I went to YouTube and searched for "coming out." I'd ask God for advice at night when I prayed.

But maybe, I was actually ready to come out.