Something's Wrong With the Different Realms

Twenty-Four: Finding Hope

"Yeah."

"I think I'm ready to forgive him. I just don't know what to do, how to start and all the logistics. He's not Regina, I have to remind myself of that. He isn't acephobic and stuff. I think he thinks I'm still mad at him so he's probably just going to give me space. So... I don't know how to approach him, Ivy."

"Hmm... you're working on a book together, right?" Ivy asked.

"Yes, why?" I raised my eyebrows in confusion.

"I know it might not be the brightest idea but you can use it as an excuse. You can say that the book is due soon and ask him to meet you after school at the café to talk about your book. Then, once you're there, you can apologize to him and you guys can have a heart-to-heart or whatever."

"Ivy, you're brilliant!" I wrapped my sister in a bear hug.

"Ow!" she exclaimed as she patted my shoulder.

Ivy gently nudged me away to end the hug before speaking up once more. "Is there anything else you want to talk about?" she asked.

"Let me think," I grabbed my coke and gulped the rest of it down.

Ever since Jasper and I had had that argument, I'd spent a lot more time with Breena and Summer. I mean, I usually ate lunch with them every day but occasionally, I'd join Jasper. That is, before the fight. And I've been texting them more and more often after school, talking about music and homework with them because I didn't feel like talking to Jasper. At a few points, I'd even asked them to critique my writing instead of turning to Jasper or Alexa and Harry because of the tension in the group.

However, I couldn't help but feel like I was a fraud to them. The more time I spent with them, the more I felt like I was keeping things from them. Heck, I didn't even tell them much about the fight between Jasper and me. And I felt even worse when they didn't question it and just hugged me and let me have my space to deal with it.

It was sometime during lunch when I realized that I'd told Jasper more things about myself than I'd told them even if I'd known them longer and they were really nice people. I'd run out of the cafeteria randomly that day and it was the day that I realized that I should tell Breena and Summer about what happened with Regina, my concern, and the fight between me and Jasper.

"I think I should talk to Breena and Summer about Regina," I randomly blurted out.

"That's good," Ivy nodded.

"And I think I'll do it tomorrow during lunch."

"Okay."

"Yeah."

"So... is there anything else you want to talk to me about?" inquired Ivy.

"No, but I do want to say that you're a pretty good stepsister and I wish that you could see your own goodness in yourself."

Ivy got up and asked, "will you be okay?"

I said "yes" and Ivy cast one last look at me before taking the empty wine glasses and leaving the room.

"You said you wanted to talk to us about something?" Summer asked, picking at a spoonful of rice.

"Yeah, but let's move to somewhere a bit more private first," I said.

"Just let us finish our lunch first, there's a lot of time left in the period anyway," said Breena as she shoved another bite of sandwich in her throat.

I agreed and we quickly finished our lunch. Afterwards, we disposed of the wrappers in the trash, put our lunch bags in our lockers and headed to an empty classroom on the second floor of the school. I recognized this classroom, it was the same classroom that we were in when I'd admitted to Breena and Summer about how I truly felt about our friendship.

"So... let me guess," Summer leaned against one of the desks, blowing at a strand of dirty blonde hair that fell on her face. "Is this about Jasper?"

"Yeah, you told us that the two of you got into a fight some time ago, did you not?" Breena added.

"Yes, it is about that, and something else as well," I took a seat between Summer and Breena.

I told them everything about our fight. The same things that told Ivy but in a bit more detail. In the end, they asked me questions and I had to answer them. I also talked about wanting to forgive Jasper and my plan to meet at the café to talk about it. Finally, when I finished talking about everything, they hugged me.

"Thanks for telling us," said Breena.

"Yeah," said Summer, wrapping me in a tighter embrace, "are you sure you're ready to forgive him yet?"

"Mmm... yeah, I had a lot of time to think about it and reflect and I think I at least want to talk to him about what happened and address the tension between us. I mean, we do kind of have a book due soon anyway," I replied.

"Okay, just make sure you don't do anything you aren't comfortable with? Okay?" Summer assured.

"And if you can text or call us at any time if you're sad or have any arguments or need to vent or anything!" Breena added.

"Thanks, now onto the second thing. I want to tell you about Regina. Do you guys know who she is?" I asked.

"We know that she's your ex-best friend from Ontario but other than that, we don't really know much about her," said Summer.

"Well... it's time I tell you the full story," I said.

"Okay, if that's what you want to do," nodded Breena.

"Regina and I became best friends in grade one. I was scared and she approached me and comforted me. Soon, we realized that we had many of the same interests. We bonded over old rock bands and writing and reading and stuff. She even helped me go through my parents' divorce and deal with all the family drama that was going on. She was like family.

"We told each other everything. She came out to me in grade six, or 6th grade or whatever you want to call it. She said she was bisexual, and she was supportive of Hana and my mother's relationship as well. My mom's also bisexual and Hana's lesbian. So I was sure that she'd be supportive of me when I decided to come out as asexual.

"But she reacted badly. She basically laughed at me and said asexual people didn't exist and no one could be asexual and ranted about how it didn't make sense and stuff. When she leaned over to hug me, something felt off. And throughout the semester she'd start avoiding me and whenever we were together she'd joke crudely about me being asexual. It was uncomfortable but I still wanted to hold onto our friendship, of all the good times that we'd had together so I always found a way to excuse her behavior.

"So I guess it was good that we moved to America because it allowed me to reflect on how trash Regina actually was. I'm still having a hard time getting over her because you know, we had good times together but... I can have new friends and stuff. Better friends who are less trash like you guys. That's why I feel like I have to tell you, you know? I feel like I have to clear the air and let go and allow myself to grieve."

"Regina sounds like total garbage, especially because she's acephobic," Summer commented.

"Besides, you don't need her anyway when you have us! We're your friends and I'm sure you'll have other amazing friends as well!" Breena added.

"Thanks, guys," I grinned, "you're amazing."

"We know," Breena flipped her hair.

For the rest of the lunch period, we talked about more unremarkable subjects like how we feel about school ending in a month. It was still May but our teachers were starting to remind us of our final exams. And things like school, homework, the weather, and whatever news was circulating the internet until the bell rang.

I still had final exams to worry about and I still had to talk to Jasper, Allaira, and Horizon, but talking to my friends and my stepsister gave me comfort and hope.

I hope that things are finally starting to look up.